Sam Lutfi is probably going to jail
The LAPD officially announced that they are looking into the allegations that “someone” drugged Britney Spears. They haven’t launched a formal investigation yet, but I hear they want to prevent future drive-by vadge-ings so the chances look good. The AP reports:
Police Capt. Kyle Jackon said in a statement Wednesday that the allegations “are being considered” by the Robbery-Homicide unit to determine if laws have been violated. Jackson says no suspect has been identified.
And by “no suspect” they of course mean “we totally know who it is.” Even Patches the Blind Crime Dog knows it was Sam Lutfi. Ask him who drugged Britney Spears and he’ll say “Ruff!” which everyone knows is dog-talk for “Asshat Supreme.” Then Patches will rub his nose signifying he’s not going to rest until he bites some Middle Eastern nut-sack. I swear that pooch is practically Robocop but with surprisingly less leg-humping.