Sam Lutfi is probably going to jail

February 28th, 2008 // 37 Comments

The LAPD officially announced that they are looking into the allegations that “someone” drugged Britney Spears. They haven’t launched a formal investigation yet, but I hear they want to prevent future drive-by vadge-ings so the chances look good. The AP reports:

Police Capt. Kyle Jackon said in a statement Wednesday that the allegations “are being considered” by the Robbery-Homicide unit to determine if laws have been violated. Jackson says no suspect has been identified.

And by “no suspect” they of course mean “we totally know who it is.” Even Patches the Blind Crime Dog knows it was Sam Lutfi. Ask him who drugged Britney Spears and he’ll say “Ruff!” which everyone knows is dog-talk for “Asshat Supreme.” Then Patches will rub his nose signifying he’s not going to rest until he bites some Middle Eastern nut-sack. I swear that pooch is practically Robocop but with surprisingly less leg-humping.

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Comments (37)

  1. toolboy | February 28, 2008 at 9:49 am

    Shawshank his ass.

    Reply
  2. Research Study | February 28, 2008 at 9:54 am

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    Reply
  3. Auntie Kryst | February 28, 2008 at 9:55 am

    Make some room at Gitmo.

    Reply
  4. mimi | February 28, 2008 at 9:55 am

    “ME” and Superfish SUK!

    Reply
  5. QB | February 28, 2008 at 9:58 am

    5th!!! AND ABOUT FUCKEN TIME!!

    Reply
  6. Kingsley Amis | February 28, 2008 at 10:01 am

    Once again at a loss to understand, and hoping (sincerely) that one of you can help explain this to me. Okay, so she is certainly a moron, and her hillbilly parents rode her gravy train regardless of the damage it brought into her life. But how does an utterly supreme douche like Lufti, an ugly, greasy bastard to be sure, gain such Svengali-like control over her life and, make no mistake, her money?

    Reply
  7. Hemlock Queen | February 28, 2008 at 10:02 am

    fucking awesome @1.

    This guy is a burglar and a psychopath. I hope he get’s ass raped many times for all of the nasty things he’s done to the mentally handicapped. Now Butt-Pirate will have a whole new meaning for him! hahhahhahha!

    Reply
  8. hitler's good side | February 28, 2008 at 10:02 am

    he only drugged her if by drugged you mean “inserted his small uncut cock in her festering poon and then he shook it all about.”

    Reply
  9. havoc | February 28, 2008 at 10:07 am

    Send him to Abu Ghraib……..

    .

    Reply
  10. Mel from the Diner | February 28, 2008 at 10:10 am

    Sam is going to get his ass plugged by a Tranny in prison.

    Reply
  11. hairy ballsack | February 28, 2008 at 10:10 am

    10th!

    EAT MY SCROTUM SCUM FUCKERS

    Reply
  12. D. Richards (#2.) | February 28, 2008 at 10:14 am

    Send Lufti the solitary for life — for wearing that stupid fucking shirt.

    Frist? Oh, Frist? Where are you, my little butt-plug?

    Reply
  13. Son-of D. Richards | February 28, 2008 at 10:16 am

    to soli.*

    Reply
  14. karrah_montz | February 28, 2008 at 10:21 am

    i wish adnan will go to jail too… someday

    Reply
  15. Bmurphy72 | February 28, 2008 at 10:28 am

    Hey guys I’m King Doushe and a I’m new here in prison…………Oh wait NO…….I’M DOUSHE I Don’t need any type of colonic packing or cleaning………………………………..HEY….HEY…………..HHhheeeeeyyyy………………………………………………………………………………………………….Maybe thats not so bad after all………..and you use jelly or syrup too……………………if Britney only knew about this while we were with K Fed………..
    We might still be together (Her money and me, of course)………………

    Reply
  16. The White Urkle | February 28, 2008 at 10:30 am

    I think I took a pot shot at this rag head last year when I was in Iraq. I would have hit him but the smoke from the burning feces was making my eyes water. That and all the cough syrup I was drinking.

    Reply
  17. Alice | February 28, 2008 at 10:47 am

    This guy has posted his personal ad on a celebrities dating site Richsoulmate.com recently. I just visited his profile page yesterday. Is he looking for a serious relationship or just for fun?

    Reply
  18. Giggles | February 28, 2008 at 10:49 am

    Why do I believe that this guy, like every other celebutard, will get away with his crimes?

    Reply
  19. Harry Ballzack | February 28, 2008 at 11:05 am

    11. hairy ballsack – February 28, 2008 10:10 AM

    10th! EAT MY SCROTUM SCUM FUCKERS

    HAHAHAHA ……What a fucking loser ! You still can’t find your place in life ….
    you can’t copy my name right either !!

    Reply
  20. Grunion | February 28, 2008 at 11:08 am

    Can’t they just do some “extraordinary rendition ” shit on his ass and bundle him off to Guantanamo ?

    I’d say more but Bush is spying on my computer…

    Reply
  21. FRIST!!! | February 28, 2008 at 11:15 am

    Awwww #12 misses me..

    Fantastic then…wait, you use a butt plug? That’s pretty gross, mister..

    Reply
  22. BUBBA STIFF | February 28, 2008 at 11:21 am

    Come on down boy !! We got a sayin here in Walla-Walla State Prison ….
    “ASS – The Other Vagina”

    Reply
  23. Sury | February 28, 2008 at 11:25 am

    Aside from all the kids on here with their rather disgusting visuals, I’d like to say I hope they arrest him. Not a Britney fan but I believe his goal was to keep her so out of it she would sign stuff over to him and, if she died in the process, all the better. You can live pretty well for years on someone else’s money while their family fights you in court. A person doesn’t get 3 restraining orders against them from 3 separate people without reason or merit.

    Reply
  24. mike | February 28, 2008 at 11:31 am

    Notice how FRIST just had to join the conversation on a sodomy thread.

    Reply
  25. D. Richards (Sack.) | February 28, 2008 at 11:42 am

    Just your fingers, Frist.

    Seriously, I’ve got to use something to stop the flow. And, please, call me ‘Mistress’.

    Reply
  26. hausfrau | February 28, 2008 at 11:48 am

    Just a fucking fat asshole wearing a fucking t shirt.

    Reply
  27. dude | February 28, 2008 at 11:52 am

    Thanks Fish, for hilarious commentary. I’m still laughing. This made my morning. “Asshat Supreme” Love it.

    Reply
  28. FRIST!!! | February 28, 2008 at 12:15 pm

    #24 – What’s wrong with a girl being interested in anal? It’s not like I lost my virginity yesterday. Once I was with the right guy and he gave me the most mindblowing orgasm of my life during anal. Now I feel sorry for all the fearful inhibited girls. They have no idea what they’re missing.

    Reply
  29. Anonymous | February 28, 2008 at 12:24 pm

    Hey Alice,

    How the hell should we know? Why don’t you tell us?

    Reply
  30. Dorable | February 28, 2008 at 12:29 pm

    #6 the same way a pimp gains control over women. You become their source of self esteem, and you become their source of addictive drugs.

    Reply
  31. Dirty Slut ...the amazing Frist - butt toy of D. Richards | February 28, 2008 at 12:30 pm

    Jesus man! You are aware that the anus’s primary function is to excrete feces? Any chance there might be bacteria covering the penis afterwards? What? You suck cock after sodomy? Damn.
    Well I guess since you are allowing Dicks dicks in there he may not actually have enough girth to compress a stool. It may just slide on by. I guess that makes it ok then.
    Proceed. Sorry.

    Reply
  32. OutRunner1 | February 28, 2008 at 12:49 pm

    Wait, wait, wait… Why are we still talking about Lufti Lutfi? I’m now much more interested in what Frist has to say. More Frist, less Man with Stupid Facial Hair (Lutfi’s Lakota name).

    Reply
  33. Grunion | February 28, 2008 at 12:57 pm

    #31 compressed stool describes this site perfectly.

    Reply
  34. joseph | February 28, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    Has anybody hear about Pop Fiction. This show on E! Its going to be on air March 9th at 10:30 et/pt. If anybody knows about it let me know. Also ive seen these. This show is going to be good. It has to be its so secretive. Ive been hearing crazy rumors about it too!! Here the link

    http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/popfiction/index.jsp

    CHAOS IS COMING. POP FICTION.  MARCH 9.  E!  THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.

    o HOLLYWOOD ARMAGEDDON.  RESISTANCE FUTILE.  POP FICTION.  MARCH 9.  E!  THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.

    Reply
  35. Matthew | February 28, 2008 at 4:13 pm

    sam lufti better prepare himself for big bubba

    Reply
  36. Blarg | February 28, 2008 at 6:49 pm

    I bet that if ol’ Lutfucki does go to jail, the guards will mention that Sam’s actual first name is Osama where other inmates can hear it.

    Then they’ll go on break.

    Reply
  37. Alice | February 28, 2008 at 8:48 pm

    He is a playboy, still hunting young sexy girls on BillionaireFriends.com.

    Reply

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