Sam Lutfi is a patriot

As of today, Sam Luftesticles has yet to be served the restraining order that would effectively keep him 250 yards from Britney Spears. In the meantime, he’s acquired himself a press agent, Michael Sands. Ironically, Michael Sands was a media consultant for Mark Vincent Kaplan who is Kevin Federline’s defense lawyer. TMZ reports:

Sands, who knows a thing or two about crisis management, has been brought on board by Lutfi to, as Lutfi put it to us, “set the record straight” about who he is.
Sands cryptically told TMZ, “I’m honored to work with a patriot like Sam Lutfi.” BTW, while Sands worked for Kaplan, his mission was partly to dig up dirt on Brit’s former manager.
For his part, Lutfi told TMZ, “Michael did his research and found the truth.”

Sam also called E! News yesterday to refute Lynne’s allegations that he drugged Britney. He refused to disclose his location but talked about Britney’s manic episodes and the events leading up to her last hospitalization:

“She wrote me a note and put a big heart on it and it said, ‘I love you, Sam. Are there people coming? Circle yes or no.’ Oh my God, it was funny, just the cutest little thing. I circled yes and I gave it back to her, and she looked at me and she’s like, ‘Oh, lord, here we go again.’ “

Britney Spears can write? Ha! Nice try, Captain America. I’m not falling for that one again. I never got my $200 back after I bought Britney’s diary off eBay. She didn’t even write in it unless you consider Elmer’s Glue and chocolate sprinkles a form of written communication. Though I was impressed by her finger painting. Britney’s either very adept at drawing ducks or a lot of her boyfriends had winged genitalia.