Sam Lufti as Mother Teresa

February 1st, 2008 // 58 Comments

Sam Lufti pleaded his case to Ryan Seacrest last night and said he has a “moral obligation” to help Britney, according to E! Online:

“You meet her and she cries, and she begs you not to turn on her,” Lutfi said in an emotional phone call to Seacrest at roughly 8:15 p.m. Thursday. “You would do the same for any of your sisters. I have three sisters–I would do the same for them.”

Sam also claims that Britney doesn’t pay him and he hasn’t accepted a dime from the media. He then shared his feelings on Britney’s family and is through trying to keep the peace:

And while Spears’ parents continue to cast doubt on him and object to his intervention in their daughter’s life, they’re the ones who are “incapable of telling the truth and incapable of sympathizing,” Lutfi said, adding that “they’re more concerned about money and their own image than Britney’s condition.”

Sam ended the phone call by getting into Britney’s brand new Mercedes Benz which he drove back to her mansion. He comforted himself by watching movies on her ridiculously large HD TV and helped himself to the fridge. Afterwards he relaxed in the Jacuzzi and wondered if this is how Jesus felt after he helped all those people. Then he noticed something was clogging one of the jets. Aw, gross, it’s a tickler – and a chicken wing. Dammit, Britney.

EDIT: So apparently, after all this time, it’s actually Sam LuTFi not Sam LuFTi. Great, now this douchebag is bringing me down. I’ll get you, LUFTFI!

Photo: Flynet

  1. lisa

    he is my favorite. I am his big fan. Is he single now? Just curious. I saw his profile on millionaire dating site last week.

  2. RENEE...

    I think his tshirt should say “just a fucking piece of shit wearing this tshirt” …I don’t believe a word that rolls out of that slimeballs mouth. Not to say that Brit’s parents are the greatest either; but I think they’re the lesser of 2 evils.

  3. snarf

    Man, what a fucking mess.

  4. phildo

    TF not FT

  5. The Office Whore


  6. Sam

    You’ve got to respect him. He’s managed to hang in there under tough circumstances. I mean, what do you think farts smell like when they come from a person who just swallowed a pack of laxatives and a supersized bag of Cheetos? I’d make lots of trips to a hotel, too.

  7. D. Richards (Saint.)

    Great post.

    Unlike Lufti, Jesus did, and continues to make money off of other people. Not only did Jesus die for our sins, he wore really expensive robes too; he also hired the finest faggot in all of Jerusalem to fashion his beautiful sandals with rhinestones and the cutest litte glittered golden straps.

    #1? Yes, Lisa. Sam Lufti’s a millionaire. And if you saw his profile, wouldn’t you know if he’s single or not? Oh, Sams is cryptic.

  8. XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

  9. XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

  10. XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

  11. XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

  12. XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

  13. XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

  14. XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

  15. XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

  16. XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

  17. XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

  18. Awww….lisa, you forgot to say First!!!

  19. Racer X


    /haven’t been keeping up

  20. Auntie Kryst

    @5 Whore, I’m stumped. WWRSD? What would Rod Serling do? I’m guessing he’d walk in front of the cameras take a drag off a Camel then welcome us the Twilight Zone.

  21. Auntie Kryst

    Wait, dumb me, got it. RS=Ryan Seacrest. I’m mad at that because I haven’t even had a drink yet.

  22. gotmilk?

    yeah this guy is a fucking saint. and why does he keep calling Ryan Seacrest on Britney’s behalf? He’s just as pathetic as her, trying to keep her name in the news.

  23. The Office Whore

    Auntie- well, hurry up! drinking makes us smart. s-m-r-t!!

  24. my comment

    What is is with LA? Why do all the men wear embroidered roses and skulls and drippy chin fuzz?

  25. too soon?

    What did the IED-survivor Iraqi vet say to the prostitute?

    “Whore, I’m stumped.”

  26. p0nk


  27. claire

    This guy is so famous no one actually knows his last name some people say lufti some say lutfi.


  28. Auntie Kryst

    Too soon? Naw too funny, good one!

  29. I heard Kato Katlin and Sam are best friends. Kato, gve Sam tips on how to moch off of celbs and not pay rent.

  30. dozer



  31. No, it is WWRMD?

    And yes TCLTC!!!

  32. dozer




  33. combustion8

    whats with the douschey goatie (line) him and penispill are sporting? must be a greasy persian thing.

  34. meh

    It’s WAY too early in the morning for all the letters to not makes any sense.

  35. Anonymous


    Yes, he is single. You should ask him out on a date. Why don’t you? Please get back to me and let me know how it went, OK? I’m really curious. Thank you so much.

  36. Mardi

    It’s both. That guy is so skeevy that he’s been known to spell his name as both LUFTI and LUTFI. He’s a con man. He’s got a couple other aliases, too, from what I understand.

  37. teddy


    he’s middle eastern, of course he’s a conman.

  38. claire

    36: Really?? Hes a moron

  39. The Laughing God

    Ads bothering you? Download Firefox with no Script, anti phising, refControl, and AddBlocker Plus.Cause I have no idea what head you are talking about. But to the matter at hand. Hollywood influences the non-bias mainstream media?! WHAAAA??? THIS IS A FIRST!!!

  40. LL

    Ryan Seacrest – The 21st century’s Barbara Walters. Nice of him to give this parasite a national stage on which to project his extreme douchebaggery. Because Ryan’s a giver.

    And because someone upthread is so enthusiastic about it, I agree:

    Xenu will win.

  41. Allison from BLR

    he’s famous why?

  42. Auto-Erotic-Asphixiation

    Are these little chin stripes so they can identify each other as exclusive members of “Needle Dick the Bug Fuckers” club ?

  43. mabbo

    #40: Really? I always thought Ryan Seacrest was a “catcher” and not a “pitcher”; A “taker” and not a “giver”. Hmmmm. I will have to consult Simon Cowell’s diary again to make sure. Anyone who believes Sam is a moron. Enough of his background has come to light and we all know he is an abusive, conniving conman. Babba Wawa and Ryan should be ashamed for giving him air time. Britney has been going down hill for several months now and Sam has been right by her side the whole time enabling it. I read the fight over Britney between her parents and Sam has even gone to a Judge. Sam will lose. Britney is not in her “right mind” to legally give Sam any control over her or her fortune. The legal system will most likely side with her immediate family. Sam is defensive because he knows his end is coming sooner than expected.

  44. woodhorse

    He drives her crazy ass anywhere she wants any time of the day or night and brings her In-and-Out when she’s in lockup. I want a Lutfi too.

  45. #4 – Related?

    #8 – #17 – Xenu won.

    #43 – A receiver, not a quarterback? A goal net, not a soccer ball? A teenage Mexican beastiality video whore, not the horse? A spammer, not Anonymouse?

  46. Well I belive none of you even know what Britney goes through! Ya maybe she loves being in the light but you can’t tell me we all don’t love hearing about her drama! She is an entertainer and boy do we all eat it up! Or we wouldnt be reading it commentting on it!! The pap know thats what we love thats why their is a hundred of them camped out her house! And really if this is how Sam helps then good for him because everybody needs someone to count on! No matter what our lifestyle might be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  47. kittykat

    Im confused are sam and adnan the same people? They sure look and dress the same.

  48. Chris

    What is it with these douchebags and their douchey T-Shirts? Jesus, Sam, was Wal-Mart having a sale?

    @ 41: They all look the same to me.

  49. Chris

    Shit, I mean @ 47, not 41. Fuck. Shit.

  50. Ript1&0

    Fuck you guys who corrected Fish about this douchebag’s name. Nobody gives a fuck how his name is spelled, he’s only got about 15 seconds left on the radar anyway.

    Not like you can correct the Superficial anyway. Fish owns you. And the alphabet.

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