Sam Lufti as Mother Teresa

February 1st, 2008 // 58 Comments

Sam Lufti pleaded his case to Ryan Seacrest last night and said he has a “moral obligation” to help Britney, according to E! Online:

“You meet her and she cries, and she begs you not to turn on her,” Lutfi said in an emotional phone call to Seacrest at roughly 8:15 p.m. Thursday. “You would do the same for any of your sisters. I have three sisters–I would do the same for them.”

Sam also claims that Britney doesn’t pay him and he hasn’t accepted a dime from the media. He then shared his feelings on Britney’s family and is through trying to keep the peace:

And while Spears’ parents continue to cast doubt on him and object to his intervention in their daughter’s life, they’re the ones who are “incapable of telling the truth and incapable of sympathizing,” Lutfi said, adding that “they’re more concerned about money and their own image than Britney’s condition.”

Sam ended the phone call by getting into Britney’s brand new Mercedes Benz which he drove back to her mansion. He comforted himself by watching movies on her ridiculously large HD TV and helped himself to the fridge. Afterwards he relaxed in the Jacuzzi and wondered if this is how Jesus felt after he helped all those people. Then he noticed something was clogging one of the jets. Aw, gross, it’s a tickler – and a chicken wing. Dammit, Britney.

EDIT: So apparently, after all this time, it’s actually Sam LuTFi not Sam LuFTi. Great, now this douchebag is bringing me down. I’ll get you, LUFTFI!

Photo: Flynet
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Comments (58)

  1. lisa | February 1, 2008 at 12:03 pm

    he is my favorite. I am his big fan. Is he single now? Just curious. I saw his profile on millionaire dating site CelebMingle.com last week.

    Reply
  2. RENEE... | February 1, 2008 at 12:07 pm

    I think his tshirt should say “just a fucking piece of shit wearing this tshirt” …I don’t believe a word that rolls out of that slimeballs mouth. Not to say that Brit’s parents are the greatest either; but I think they’re the lesser of 2 evils.

    Reply
  3. snarf | February 1, 2008 at 12:09 pm

    Man, what a fucking mess.

    Reply
  4. phildo | February 1, 2008 at 12:13 pm

    TF not FT
    LuTFi

    Reply
  5. The Office Whore | February 1, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    WWRSD

    Reply
  6. Sam | February 1, 2008 at 12:21 pm

    You’ve got to respect him. He’s managed to hang in there under tough circumstances. I mean, what do you think farts smell like when they come from a person who just swallowed a pack of laxatives and a supersized bag of Cheetos? I’d make lots of trips to a hotel, too.

    Reply
  7. D. Richards (Saint.) | February 1, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    Great post.

    Unlike Lufti, Jesus did, and continues to make money off of other people. Not only did Jesus die for our sins, he wore really expensive robes too; he also hired the finest faggot in all of Jerusalem to fashion his beautiful sandals with rhinestones and the cutest litte glittered golden straps.

    #1? Yes, Lisa. Sam Lufti’s a millionaire. And if you saw his profile, wouldn’t you know if he’s single or not? Oh, Sams is cryptic.

    Reply
  8. mrhappypants | February 1, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  9. mrhappypants | February 1, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  10. mrhappypants | February 1, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  11. mrhappypants | February 1, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  12. mrhappypants | February 1, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  13. mrhappypants | February 1, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  14. mrhappypants | February 1, 2008 at 12:23 pm

    XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  15. mrhappypants | February 1, 2008 at 12:23 pm

    XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  16. mrhappypants | February 1, 2008 at 12:23 pm

    XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  17. mrhappypants | February 1, 2008 at 12:23 pm

    XENU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  18. FRIST!!! | February 1, 2008 at 12:23 pm

    Awww….lisa, you forgot to say First!!!

    Reply
  19. Racer X | February 1, 2008 at 12:24 pm

    Who?

    /haven’t been keeping up

    Reply
  20. Auntie Kryst | February 1, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    @5 Whore, I’m stumped. WWRSD? What would Rod Serling do? I’m guessing he’d walk in front of the cameras take a drag off a Camel then welcome us the Twilight Zone.

    Reply
  21. Auntie Kryst | February 1, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    Wait, dumb me, got it. RS=Ryan Seacrest. I’m mad at that because I haven’t even had a drink yet.

    Reply
  22. gotmilk? | February 1, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    yeah this guy is a fucking saint. and why does he keep calling Ryan Seacrest on Britney’s behalf? He’s just as pathetic as her, trying to keep her name in the news.

    Reply
  23. The Office Whore | February 1, 2008 at 12:30 pm

    Auntie- well, hurry up! drinking makes us smart. s-m-r-t!!

    Reply
  24. my comment | February 1, 2008 at 12:31 pm

    What is is with LA? Why do all the men wear embroidered roses and skulls and drippy chin fuzz?

    Reply
  25. too soon? | February 1, 2008 at 12:37 pm

    What did the IED-survivor Iraqi vet say to the prostitute?

    “Whore, I’m stumped.”

    Reply
  26. p0nk | February 1, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    asshat

    Reply
  27. claire | February 1, 2008 at 12:42 pm

    This guy is so famous no one actually knows his last name some people say lufti some say lutfi.

    LOSER

    Reply
  28. Auntie Kryst | February 1, 2008 at 12:43 pm

    Too soon? Naw too funny, good one!

    Reply
  29. Jimbo | February 1, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    I heard Kato Katlin and Sam are best friends. Kato, gve Sam tips on how to moch off of celbs and not pay rent.

    Reply
  30. dozer | February 1, 2008 at 12:48 pm

    WWRHD?

    TCLTC!

    Reply
  31. Jimbo | February 1, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    No, it is WWRMD?

    And yes TCLTC!!!

    Reply
  32. dozer | February 1, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    ooops

    WWLRHD?

    TCLTC!

    Reply
  33. combustion8 | February 1, 2008 at 12:52 pm

    whats with the douschey goatie (line) him and penispill are sporting? must be a greasy persian thing.

    Reply
  34. meh | February 1, 2008 at 12:54 pm

    It’s WAY too early in the morning for all the letters to not makes any sense.

    Reply
  35. Anonymous | February 1, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    lisa,

    Yes, he is single. You should ask him out on a date. Why don’t you? Please get back to me and let me know how it went, OK? I’m really curious. Thank you so much.

    Reply
  36. Mardi | February 1, 2008 at 1:01 pm

    It’s both. That guy is so skeevy that he’s been known to spell his name as both LUFTI and LUTFI. He’s a con man. He’s got a couple other aliases, too, from what I understand.

    Reply
  37. teddy | February 1, 2008 at 1:04 pm

    @36

    he’s middle eastern, of course he’s a conman.

    Reply
  38. claire | February 1, 2008 at 1:05 pm

    36: Really?? Hes a moron

    Reply
  39. The Laughing God | February 1, 2008 at 1:06 pm

    Ads bothering you? Download Firefox with no Script, anti phising, refControl, and AddBlocker Plus.Cause I have no idea what head you are talking about. But to the matter at hand. Hollywood influences the non-bias mainstream media?! WHAAAA??? THIS IS A FIRST!!!

    Reply
  40. LL | February 1, 2008 at 1:07 pm

    Ryan Seacrest – The 21st century’s Barbara Walters. Nice of him to give this parasite a national stage on which to project his extreme douchebaggery. Because Ryan’s a giver.

    And because someone upthread is so enthusiastic about it, I agree:

    Xenu will win.

    Reply
  41. Allison from BLR | February 1, 2008 at 1:34 pm

    he’s famous why?

    Reply
  42. Auto-Erotic-Asphixiation | February 1, 2008 at 1:41 pm

    Are these little chin stripes so they can identify each other as exclusive members of “Needle Dick the Bug Fuckers” club ?

    Reply
  43. mabbo | February 1, 2008 at 1:50 pm

    #40: Really? I always thought Ryan Seacrest was a “catcher” and not a “pitcher”; A “taker” and not a “giver”. Hmmmm. I will have to consult Simon Cowell’s diary again to make sure. Anyone who believes Sam is a moron. Enough of his background has come to light and we all know he is an abusive, conniving conman. Babba Wawa and Ryan should be ashamed for giving him air time. Britney has been going down hill for several months now and Sam has been right by her side the whole time enabling it. I read the fight over Britney between her parents and Sam has even gone to a Judge. Sam will lose. Britney is not in her “right mind” to legally give Sam any control over her or her fortune. The legal system will most likely side with her immediate family. Sam is defensive because he knows his end is coming sooner than expected.

    Reply
  44. woodhorse | February 1, 2008 at 1:58 pm

    He drives her crazy ass anywhere she wants any time of the day or night and brings her In-and-Out when she’s in lockup. I want a Lutfi too.

    Reply
  45. RichPort | February 1, 2008 at 2:04 pm

    #4 – Related?

    #8 – #17 – Xenu won.

    #43 – A receiver, not a quarterback? A goal net, not a soccer ball? A teenage Mexican beastiality video whore, not the horse? A spammer, not Anonymouse?

    Reply
  46. Sherri | February 1, 2008 at 2:43 pm

    Well I belive none of you even know what Britney goes through! Ya maybe she loves being in the light but you can’t tell me we all don’t love hearing about her drama! She is an entertainer and boy do we all eat it up! Or we wouldnt be reading it commentting on it!! The pap know thats what we love thats why their is a hundred of them camped out her house! And really if this is how Sam helps then good for him because everybody needs someone to count on! No matter what our lifestyle might be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  47. kittykat | February 1, 2008 at 3:19 pm

    Im confused are sam and adnan the same people? They sure look and dress the same.

    Reply
  48. Chris | February 1, 2008 at 5:07 pm

    What is it with these douchebags and their douchey T-Shirts? Jesus, Sam, was Wal-Mart having a sale?

    @ 41: They all look the same to me.

    Reply
  49. Chris | February 1, 2008 at 5:09 pm

    Shit, I mean @ 47, not 41. Fuck. Shit.

    Reply
  50. Ript1&0 | February 1, 2008 at 5:48 pm

    Fuck you guys who corrected Fish about this douchebag’s name. Nobody gives a fuck how his name is spelled, he’s only got about 15 seconds left on the radar anyway.

    Not like you can correct the Superficial anyway. Fish owns you. And the alphabet.

    Reply

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