Aaron Taylor-Johnson’s Mom Just Quit ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

By all accounts, Fifty Shades of Grey made money hand over fisted vagina despite getting shit-ass reviews because this is America and America will watch anything even if we have no idea who the fuck’s in it. – Talking raccoons help. – However, part of filming Fifty Shades required swallowing creative input from a woman who literally wrote Twilight fan-fiction called, wait for it, Master of The Universe, then just changed the character’s name. So it really shouldn’t be all that surprising that Sam Taylor-Johnson just bounced from directing the sequel because how you going to sit there and rip-off He-Man?! I mean, artistic integrity. This is about artistic integrity in mommy porn. Deadline reports:

“Directing Fifty Shades Of Grey has been an intense and incredible journey for which I am hugely grateful. I have Universal to thank for that. I forged close and lasting relationships with the cast, producers and crew and most especially, with Dakota and Jamie. While I will not be returning to direct the sequels, I wish nothing but success to whosoever takes on the exciting challenges of films two and three.”

And by films “two and three,” she means two and three parts one and two. Which raises an important question: Does Fifty Shades of Grey even need a sequel let alone an entire trilogy of books? Because I’m pretty sure I can sum up these characters’ journey in just three words: They fucked more.

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