Salma Hayek’s breasts are heroes

February 11th, 2009 // 139 Comments

While on a humanitarian mission for UNICEF in Sierra Leone, Salma Hayek came across a hungry baby and took immediate action – with her breasts. Angelina Jolie, you should probably be taking notes here. NY Daily News reports:

Hayek, 42, discovered the child, whose mother was unable to produce milk, during a tour of a hospital in the war-torn country.
“The baby was perfectly healthy, but the mother did not have any milk,” she later recalled to USA Today. “He was very hungry – I was weaning my daughter Valentina, but I still had a lot of milk, so I breastfed the baby.”
“You should have seen his eyes,” she said. “When he felt the nourishment, he immediately stopped crying.”

I think it’s time we, as Americans, recognized true heroism and put Salma Hayek’s breasts on the one dollar bill. This will allow me to not only tip a stripper, but inspire her to use her breasts for the greater good. (After my lap dance, of course.) I just care about the children.

WARNING: Video is NSFW. Unless you’re a wet nurse.

Photos: Fame, Getty
superficial

  1. Hey, that kid better be careful… ever heard of Montezuma’s Revenge???

  2. chick

    weird. she is very pretty though – i’m sure the kid was thrilled :)

  3. Valentine

    Nursing her daughter for over a year paid at last

    I wonder if Angelina ever nursed her kids besides that W photo…

  4. chango

    Where does the line start for that titty-fest ???

    Oh and by the way @1 . . you’re a racist fuck . . .

  5. She could probably nurse all of Africa back to health with those big titties!

  6. Cris

    @1: That is a really STUPID commentary, I’m a mexican so I really know how TRULY lame that sounds…

  7. Alec Baldwin

    I have been sucking those babies on 30 Rock. Amazed there is still milk in them thar hills.

  8. donk

    Better start posting IP addresses….

  9. #1, that was pretty damn funny!

    #6, Again, I was too late to post. I was thinking the same thing.

    #5 & 7, calling someone a racist these days makes you sound like a whiney liberal. That is all they have left to say when logic (or in this case humor) is presented to them.

    I felt safer in Iraq in ’07 than I did in mexico in ’08.

  10. The Pope

    You just know that in 16 years or so some magazine is gonna hunt down that kid and try to get them a reunion.

  11. Matrim

    @5

    The dude was joking, fuck-rocket. If he were on Comedy Central Presents and said that joke it would be greeted with mild laughter…it’s fairly tame.

    @7

    Of course it sounds stupid if you’re Mexican…you’re immune to it!

  12. Sam

    Hey Salma, I’m so hungry I’m crying…lil help?

  13. Randal

    Wow, she really is a hero. I wonder why more women don’t do that. Then we wouldn’t have to see that Save the Children commercials while flipping through the channels late at night. Yes, for 72 cents a day some small woodland child will get fed a decent meal but for no cost at all, heroic women across this country could just drain their breasts into canning jars and feed several kids for nothing. Voila, no more commercials of sweating bony kids covered in flies and lice.

    After everything Selma has been through, it’s great to see her helping small children like this without worrying what people will think of her breasts. Hurrah Selma. You are an inspiration to all women.

    Randal

  14. Andrea

    Great. Now he’s going to tell his mommy “no, I said I want to ‘smuggle’”.

  15. Jrz

    HAHAHAHA Nice one, Rich.

    Don’t get yer pantalones in a bunch #7, it’s not like he said something about her breast milk tasting like tamales or made some joke about like, wet back wet nurse or fuzzy dice or something. Jesus. Chill out. It’s okay to laugh.

  16. Family of Ffive

    I can completely understand why Salma would do this. My wife and I have five children and they were all breast-fed. All our friend’s breast-fed their children also.

    What Salma did is a perfectly nature thing for a nursing mom to do for another nursing mom and a hungry baby. It is hard for many men and unfortunately many women to understand this. Some women are so hardened to motherhood that they are clueless.

    Salma should be proud that this one act of kindness defines one aspect of who she is as a woman. A Mother!

    Let the ignorant comments begin!

  17. Jose

    I agree, #1′s comment was racist and did not respect the cultural tradition of Mexican humor. Anybody got a bee costume?

  18. Matt

    These racist commenters will have their IP numbers forwarded to a rusty Chevy packed with a dozen Mexicans and a stolen laptop.

  19. Wendy

    What a world! A Mexican PROVIDING welfare. Next thing you know you’ll hear about a successful black-ruled African country. (Nah…just kiddin’…)

  20. Fati

    I would not breastfeed someone else’s baby. Call me selfish.

  21. #5, 7, and 18 – Here… (glugglugglug) enjoy this steaming cup of “kiss my ass you overly sensitive fuck”. You’ll forgive me if I remain unimpressed that some overpaid and moderately talented pair of tits decided to whip out her baby feeder for the cameras. Yet if the joke was about her middle eastern side, you’d have no issues with it, right? I hope the next time you pop open a can of Coke, the Stroke Genie pops out and give your humorless asses a visit.

  22. Valerie

    That IS cool–helping babies. You kids should give it a try : )

  23. the Actually guy

    Actually I think “Jose” was making fun of the type of humor Mexicans approve of (bee costume).

  24. Here’s a little something you might enjoy. The following is the 2007winning entry from an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.

    This year’s term was “Political Correctness”. The winner wrote:

    “Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional,illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.”

  25. Bear Trap Fairy

    I’m already planning a little visit to them tonight, Rich….especially #5 for calling you a racist as he makes a mysoginistic joke. Mmmm MMM! The Bear Trap Fairy LOVES me some hypocrit meat!

    I will also visit the dude whose wife runs around breastfeeding all their kids while they take their fucking SATs…who was that guy? Family of Five or some shit. *scrolls up to confirm name of douchebag at #17* Yeah…….him.

  26. Angelonline

    In the past mothers who couldn’t produce milk brought in wet nurses to nurse their babies. In the past that was not a problem. However in todays society riddled with disease, I would never let anyone else nurse my child. Breastmilk can carry diseases, as can any body fluids. And todays Hollywood bunch (no offense Salma) seemed to be more disease riddled than most… just saying….

  27. #24 – You’re right. My bad #18. I knew we had a lot of Alaskan Wolf Hunters here, but I had no idea we had so many Mexicans.

  28. Halla

    Nothing wrong with that. Good on her. I dont know why everyone makes breatfeeding such a big deal. Its the most natural thing in the world. Adults sexualise it but to babies…IT’S FOOD. Get over it.

  29. Juss wonderin'

    How come people with the last name W-E-I-N-E-R
    ALWAYS pronounce it WAY-nur or WEH-ner. They know we know it’s
    WEE-NUR

  30. sin

    Hey , I’m thirsrty, Where are my ginormous titties to suck? Would that be considered sex? a strange person sucking your tit sounds like it to me.
    The best part is when she said she wants her daughter to continue in her footsteps. So, she wants her daughter to let strange people suck her tits…Strange family. Fun to watch but strange.

  31. Delgo

    Blessed be the fruit of thy breast, Salma

  32. Alex

    It is not weird, it was perfectly natural in the past and kids would call each other milk brothers if they had shared a breast (insert joke). When I was breast feeding my sister also gave birth but did not have a lot of milk so I asked the pediatrician whether I could save milk for my nephew but she said it wouldn’t go because milk follows the baby´s growth and changes according to the baby´s needs. So probably the milk salma gave that little dude did nothing for him except calm him down, but it is a cute and lovely gesture though, I would definitely do it.

  33. sin

    To quote Achmed the Dead Terrorist: You racsist bastard…I kill you!!

  34. Jrz

    “You should have seen his eyes,” she said, “When he looked up and realized he had MY breast in his mouth……he high-fived the other little boy babies when I was done.”

  35. Juss Sayin...

    It is possible for a baby with HIV to transmit the virus to a wet nurse while breastfeeding…….just….putting that…out there…..

  36. SomeoneWhoKnows

    #33…that’s technically true to some extent, but I am sure there was plenty of nutrition there for this baby. There isn’t that much difference between the nutritional requirements of a several-month-old and a 1-yr-old.

    #27…ridiculous. Would you rather this child die of starvation rather than the miniscule risk of disease? And many diseases aren’t even spread via breastmilk.

    #21…you called it. You are selfish.

  37. Rocky J

    No one will have anything on this kid when it grows up. All it will have to say is “I sucked on Selma Hayeks tits”

  38. #33 – Alex: You are right that a mother’s milk does change along with her baby’s development but at any stage it is still superior to formula, cow, or goat’s milk for any baby of any age.

  39. soup

    damn! jolie better step her game up

  40. they are indeed

  41. #33 – Alex: You are right that a mother’s milk does change along with her baby’s development but at any stage it is still superior to formula, cow, or goat’s milk for any baby of any age. It’s too bad your nephew’s pediatrician wasn’t more knowledgeable… or it could be that he was just giving you lip service to avoid discouraging or not condoning the exchanging bodily fluids which is always seen as a risk by the medical community regardless of the situation (family).

  42. bootlips

    Will there ever be a day when negroes can do things on their own? i mean really, the effing monkeys can’t even breast feed their own tar babies.

  43. Retard

    Got Milf?

  44. Parker

    I wonder if Salma likes to get buttfucked while she’s breastfeeding. I bet she’d enjoy it and I’m willing to try it with her so Salma if you’re reading this…

  45. Drunkman

    If I felt that nourishment I’d stop crying too.

  46. Fati

    # 37 – So? I’ve got every right to be.

  47. jt

    i’m feeling a tad under nourished myself.

  48. Fati

    #43 – Seriously, why is Africa in such bad shape? On the other hand, if you take into account that they were hanging from trees only a few hundred years ago…

  49. pineapple larry

    Where was she when I was an undernourished orphan?

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