Salma Hayek still pregnant, huge

May 11th, 2007 // 68 Comments

Salma Hayek was spotted in Paris, France looking very pregnant and very huge. I know you put on weight when you’re pregnant, but Salma looks like she’s transforming into a wall. If you pulled up her shirt I’d expect to see bricks instead of skin.

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  1. GooniesNeverSayDie

    La Leche League wants YOU!

  2. bigsteamyone

    Those are some massive mammeries !

  3. mrs.t

    She should watch it with the skirts. If her hair is any indication, her pubes have got to be down near her knees at this point.

  4. GooniesNeverSayDie

    Paris should go to the same prison as Salma Hayek.

    The obviously let you out to go shopping and they give you free black espadrilles.

    Thats hot.

  5. My underwear has no elastic.

  6. mrs.t

    Bern-she is ready for your website.

  7. FRIST!!!

    See? Now I was hoping to hear a funny comment about her from Fish, but THAT??? I coulda came up with something funnier than that in my sleep!
    And I’m not even that funny when I’m awake!!!

  8. mrs.t

    Fifth Stooge-I read about the Jeff Ruby awesomeness yesterday AFTER posting snarky response to your post nominating him for governor. Please excuse my ignorance in this matter.

  9. mrs.t

    AND I am currently residing in Cincinnati, Ohio, so I should know all about it. This is what happens when The Superficial becomes your main source of news and information.

  10. kidzooo

    i disagree..
    she doesn’t look that bad

  11. lambman

    I heard her breasts have the same gravitational pull that the moon does! True story, Selma Hayek now controls the tide!

  12. Hecubus

    That’s one fucking LUCKY baby.

  13. Wow — those things could qualify for the Disturbingly Massive Boobs section …

  14. chaunceygardner

    Look at that sad fucking sack security guy in picture #7!

    What do you want to bet that guy lives in his dead mother’s house, surrounded by liquor bottles, Playboys, and racing forms drenched in the piss of six cats?

  15. wedge1

    Most mexican women who look like that are carrying a little something from the cartel.

  16. wedge1

    The perfect gift for her baby: air.

  17. #8 – Mrs.t, your ignorance is forgiven. I would like to forget about nominating Jeff Ruby for governor of Kentucky and would like to throw his hat into the ring for President of the United States.

    Jeff Ruby in ’08

  18. LoneWolf

    If I was that kid I’d be leaving teeth marks before she got me weaned.

  19. KatieKates

    She’s ample, people, not fat. Ample.

  20. redsonja1313

    Unless she is giving birth to Twins she might want to reconsider her caloric intake. The average pregnant women needs 300-500 extra calories a day. Given the look of what appears to be burgeoning cankles, I think she may want to lay off the rice and beans. I fear the brick wall is a few burritos and a piece of tres leche cake away

  21. mrs.t

    Yeah, there are some Twins involved, but the baby she will push out of her vagina is most likely hippopotamus.

    Or, as krazismellikelli would say, hippoptamuzzz. Uzzzuzzz.

  22. Binky

    Well, for those boaters in the crowd.
    You won’t be doing ‘motor boats’ up there anymore. You’d be doing ‘aircraft carriers’.

  23. kamihi

    The comments are suprisingly tame! I think the vitriol seems to be reserved for BriLoPa on here.
    I think she looks hot though in a mother to be kinda way.

  24. yolatengo

    DAMN!! I think she ate ugly betty

  25. MrSemprini

    Sweater Panthers!!!

  26. fsndw1

    Aw! Come on guys/gals have you had a baby or seen a significant other pregnant? It takes over your body like an entity from predator. I think she looks great! Some women stay skinny others don’t. Good for her for handling it so well!

  27. Sheva

    That baby will be the best fed in North America. Did I say North America? Make that the world.

    If it’s a boy he’ll be depressed all his life. No way he’s getting better tatas than mamas.

  28. iamsosmrt

    Holly fucking tittes that looks uncomfortable.

    Does pregnancy mess with you hormones so much that you start growing dog hair out of your head? Her hair makes me think of my dearly departed spaniel…poor Mr.fluffernuts…
    *cries holding teddy bear

    Clearly she is not naturally thin because boobs like hers need to be fed (I’m guessing with deep fried lard) and her pregnancy is showing her true non-hollywood form. I love how hollywood pregnancies show us the real closet fatties. It’s like the second they find out they are pregnant they start really eating for the first time in years. And it’s a fucking smorgasbord free for all. Then as soon as the kid comes out its back to their little zone diets. Stupid whores, and they wonder why they get massive post partum, I get crazy when people even joke about taking my candy away. Just imagine what it’s like to be starving all your life then go on a nine month diabetes inducing all you can eat binge, popping out a human being that you have to care for, realizing that your fracking fat cause the baby only weighed 8 pounds and you gained 60 and on top of it all you have to go back to eating egg whites and celery. Stupid friggin celbridiots. Me and hubby have hella low body fat percentiles and we eat whatever we want, our secret is we clean our own fucking toilets and we are not greedy selfish whores. It’s amazing how not fat you can be if you actually wipe your own ass and don’t have servants doing everything for you.

  29. xXrebeccaXx

    HAHAHA @ #14 that’s so sad…but funny!

    Okay now on to Salma….I don’t think she looks that bad…if she dressed better she’d look nicer. But as for that hair..what the fuck is she thinking?!?!?!? I mean come on! Just because your pregnant doesn’t mean that you can let your hair turn into that monstrosity!

  30. MadameO

    Oh come off it – apart from the massive bosom and (logically) massive belly, she looks normal-sized. I mean, look at her legs and arms. Normal-sized.

  31. iamsosmrt


  32. schack

    The ‘Fish doesn’t have a clue and is probably still jerking off into a glass of milk. She is pregnant so what do you expect?

  33. arden

    She looks beautiful. And really, Fish, even TMZ had enough class to not sling insults at a prego woman.

  34. drew51

    I’d still hit that!!!

  35. Don Mega

    Nice rack. :P~

  36. GlasgaGal

    You are all bell-ends.

  37. I am Joes Erectile Dysfunction


  38. Binky

    # 33 seems to be spreading some guilt on this thread.
    (Personally I meant ‘aircraft carriers’ in a good way.)

  39. 1MILFhunter

    What’s the problem here? She looks great. Now that is a rack. Rosie O’Donnell is bigger than that and she’s a non-pregnant, fur trading beast.

  40. imran karim

    seems like as soon as she got pregnant, she stopped straightening her hair

    imran karim

  41. Angry Ferret Jones

    Jumping Jesus on a pogo-stick. There are third-world countries smaller than those love pillows.

    You would need a world Atlas just to titty-fuck her.

    Yeah, I know. That’s some fucked-up shit. Get used to it, I am back.

  42. WooWoo

    That shirt button is going to take out someones eye.

  43. Conky

    I’d still hit it. Thanks.

  44. honeydew

    @28 Not always so. I was built just like her during pregnancy. Size 9 before pregnancies, never gained more than 20 pounds with each pregnancy, but my breasteses and stomach would get huuuuge. After pregnancy, I could fit right back into my jeans, but the bra size would take a few months, my man didn’t complain one bit. On the other hand, my hair never gained weight.

  45. Notorious

    Her tits still stick out past the belly. Her feet fit in those little shoes. Cankles, shmankles. My hat’s off to her, I managed to gain 75 lbs with my first and 70 with my second. The kicker is to eat healthy food for the most part. But I could’ve beat that Japanese kid at the eating contests with my ravenous appetite. I don’t care about an additional 300-500 calories a day my kids managed over 8 lbs each so I wasn’t some obese lady with a 2-lb baby. Still, being pregnant SUCKS! Expecially the end where all the fat and weird cravings happen anyway. There’s only two good things about being pregnant – eating and getting it over with. The baby part was wonderful but if you’re not a parent I can’t explain the bittersweet feelings of parenthood. Oh yeah, lucky me no stretch marks which proves its not only how big you get that causes them, its also inherited.
    PS. if her hair looks like that, I have hope (mine’s the same but red, I spend tons to prevent what you see here)
    PPS. I lost all the weight, its not been two years sent I gained all that. A hypothyroid didn’t help though.

  46. fsndw1

    OK im a jackass I meant aliens..see post #25.

  47. mrs.t

    #28-wait a minute…you’re telling me that if I start wiping my own ass, I can stop working out? Fantastic news!

  48. skyhydragonfly

    she sucks anyway

  49. Gravitational pull…so that’s why I can’t look away. Those are tremendous. Other than the hair, she looks pretty good. But those boobs… Wow. Somewhere, Pam Anderson is weeping.

  50. Tarl

    She still looks HOT!! I’d be all over her, AND, especially after she has the baby and is breastfeeding! What joy! Those milk filled juggs will be HUGE! Yummy

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