Salma Hayek is really fat

June 5th, 2007 // 134 Comments

I haven’t seen the ultrasound or anything, but I’m pretty sure Salma Hayek is giving birth to a full size adult cow. Or, I dunno, a steamboat.

salma_hayek_super_pregnant_01-thumb.jpg salma_hayek_super_pregnant_02-thumb.jpg salma_hayek_super_pregnant_03-thumb.jpg salma_hayek_super_pregnant_04-thumb.jpg


  1. Jimbo

    Those are some big TITS

  2. fergernauster

    I KNEW it! She’s a grower.

    A bitch AND a grower.

  3. Jimbo

    Hey Bern, I think you might be able to use one of these pictures for your DMBS

  4. pudell

    She’s pretty short (5’2″), so the weight shows up more than compared to a taller person. She’s also wearing a sack for a dress, which isn’t the most flattering. If she would have removed her boob implants before the pregnancy then she wouldn’t look so huge. Her face looks the same though.

  5. Jessie

    She looks like Ricki Lake. Lucky her.

  6. Diana Alvarado

    Those are some stupid comments people are putting. She’s petite as it is… you think she’s not going to get big!! She looks beautiful…you try carrying a huge baby!!

  7. julie

    She’s pregnant, not fat, you fool. She’s absolutely gorgeous, she looks like some fertility goddess or something.

  8. Hollie

    How can you say she is fat? She is pregnant…I think she looks terrific. I don’t think she’s gained a lot of weight throughout he body at all – Look at her face, arms and legs. I think she is having a girl but the way she is carrying. Pregnancy can take it’s toll on a woman’s body, I know, but I think she looks fabulous!

  9. OMG look at her boobs in the last picture.

  10. @ Superfish – I liked your original post better.

    “I don’t want to be rude, but Salma Hayek should maybe think about dropping a few pounds. If she keeps this up people might start to think she’s pregnant. Which she can’t be, because she told me she was a virgin when we shared that magical night together in her parents’ basement. No, wait, you don’t think. You don’t think she. Noooooooooo!!! NOTE: I haven’t seen the ultrasound or anything, but I’m pretty sure she’s giving birth to a full size adult cow.”

  11. My Right Nut

    Good Lord! She looks like she’s got two watermelons sitting on top of a meteor. Hasn’t she been preggo for like 2 years now?

  12. rdubbz

    I’d still hit it.

  13. yurmom

    She looks beautiful…Maybe everyone would look as skinny as Paris Hilton, but I’m not sure Salma would don the orange jumpsuit.

  14. Bob

    You are an idiot. She is pregnant and looks as “normal” as any pregnant woman should look. Shit like this is why people are anorexic and feel bad for themselves. Women WISH they look as beautiful as Salma does right now. Grow up you moron.

  15. I’m so torn. She used to be one of my favorites. I hope to never get a girl pregnant and turn her into that.

  16. wedgeone

    Wait 6 months after the baby is born & see if her ass looks like Britney’s. Then we’ll know the true story behind cellulite.

    Get it? Behind …. ba-dum!

    Meanwhile – BERN!!!!!!! Make your DMBS pics bigger!!!!
    And tell me how I can send you some for submission.

  17. aprilmax

    Superfish dude – Yes, that is what pregnant women look like you dinkus! She only has a big belly (’cause she’s pregnant – duh), and her boobs are always big no matter what. She looks beautiful!

    p.s. sorry I lost my temper with that “dinkus” comment, but I had to speak my mind.

  18. blar

    Yes idiot, that’s how pregnant women look- If they’re lucky.

  19. Cracka

    Thats hot… Id hit it…. hell yea…

    Those some big ass titties!!!!!

  20. One Pill

    Give her a effing break for god’s sake!!

  21. Chauncey Gardner

    Her ass is still smaller than Kim Kardashian’s Krazy Kaboose.

  22. bungoone

    now how come you people are defending her but pregnant Scary Spice had no love?

    sorry, but she’s as big as the side of a barn. which is fitting cause that’s where she’ll have to go to milk those damn things.

  23. DahliaRose

    She looks cute, like a giant blueberry.

    Blueberries are my favorite berry.

    I love blueberries.

    There should be more blueberries in the world.

  24. Tashavin

    Looks like a girl to me…….

  25. mrbone

    hope she keeps those knockers

  26. Julie

    Haha, aww! Give the poor woman a break! She’s preggers. She’s allowed to eat a cookie or 12.

  27. Kiki

    LOL… that is sooo mean. She did blow up, but she is still beautiful. I”m 7 months preggo myself, and have only put on about 10 pounds. Not everyone is as lucky I guess. And, her boobs are frikken HUGE! I know you guys LOVE that! LOL

  28. holly

    Wow..only a man ( and I use the term loosely) can’t write something so fucking ignorant

  29. I’d like to break her water.

  30. BarbadoSlim

    I’d still fuck all five of them!

  31. meh

    You people need to relax. He is kidding, that is what he is supposed to do.

    I just wonder how much weight she has actually put on. It can be hard to tell, because different people look different with the same amount of weight. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I bet she will be back to her original size in 6 months (or less) after giving birth.

    To the person that made the anorexic comment: A very, very small amount of the population is anorexic. Anorexia is a major psychological illness and it does not develop because of things like this. I mean, are you going to change your eating habits because of this? Probably not, and a normal mentally healthy person wouldn’t. You have to realize there is more than just weight issues going on with people who have anorexia.

  32. Nikk

    I can hear seams ripping on that dress…

    …in the good way.

  33. bungoone

    37, you’ve only put on 10 pounds, total? that doesn’t sound healthy. your fetus must weight, what, 1 lb.?

  34. shanipie

    OMG looking at these pictures reminds me of 4 months ago when I was pregnant.

    Can I just say…FUCK THAT!! I never NEVER wanna do that again.

    Oh but yeah I gained it like her, like the first wee I was pregnant before I knew my husband was tellin me my boobs looked ginormous! I was like 8 or 9 months before my tummy finally stuck out more than my chest haha.

  35. BarbadoSlim

    I’ve seem to remember reading that preggos need not gain more than 20/25lbs.

    I could be wrong though.

  36. KatieKates

    Her boobs are big but come on, people – she is pregnant. Obviously she will be a lard ass.

  37. JERK


  38. Annette

    you guys are unbelievable she’s freaking pregnant. This is the only time your allowed to let yourself go.

  39. Skip Smith

    A big fuck you to all you housebound bitches saying she looks beautiful.

  40. sharpeidude

    Blah, blah, blah! Talk all the shit you want, but remember this. She’ll pay some guy $200 bucks an hour to get her body back the way it was and the rest of you fat asses will still be fucking with the lights off!

  41. Dr. Mulva, gynecologist

    The technical term for her condition is “ginormous.” Obviously she’s gained way more weight than necessary unless she’s having a litter because of in vitro. So it turns out she can binge with the best of them. At her age, good luck losing it all after the baby’s born. Even if she does (not likely), she’ll have to get plastic surgery to remove all the middle-aged-lady skin that won’t snap back. It’ll be one of those deals where you could feed a family of 12 if you fried it up. Her husband will be better off watching her early movies and jacking off (better yet, pay a maid to do the jacking & then the cleanup, he’s rich after all)>

  42. Lanee

    To #14…She never had implants.
    Whats the big deal shes pregnant. Thats what pregnant people do..gain weight.

  43. kyle

    I liked the net before the comment sections were invented… a bunch of emotional housewives coming up here defending a comical headline, thinking men are ignorant that this girl is preggers. The author knows shes pregnant, if you want to read the caption one more time. And you dont need to be a fatass once you get pregnant. Eat healthy, it will only be better for your kid anyways.

  44. kyle

    times like these make me want to reevaluate whether the womens rights movement was a good direction for our country to go in.

  45. She’s not fat, she’s pregnant!

  46. Amy

    Maybe I’m just a closet lesbo but can you see her nipple in that second photo?

  47. Me

    what is the deal with wearing long sleeves in the summertime??? and those dreadfully dark colors? here’s a clue salma, it’s a myth that dark colors make you look slimmer! you just look like you’re wearing a polyester garbage bag to try and look like a beanpole, and somehow, it got lost in translation.

  48. logic

    it’s not either-or, fat or pregnant. you can gain a normal amount of weight during pregnancy or blow up into a great big fat pig. The baby’s first book will be “Oink Says Salma!”

  49. inska

    53…me too, then we wouldn’t have to hear YOUR ignorant ass comments about what a woman should or should not look like while pregnant. Next time YOU gestate a child, you can make a comment about a woman’s gaining weight.

    Make all the snotty comments about anorexic twits and drunk socialites you want, but keep your dirty little mitts off of a healthy woman growing a healthy baby.

  50. Hecubus

    Goddamn I’d like to drown her unborn baby in cum.

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