Salma Hayek finally gives birth

September 24th, 2007 // 47 Comments

Salma Hayek gave birth to a baby girl on Saturday. The little one’s name is Valentina Paloma Pinault. While no pictures of the child are available, I’m going to assume she looks like the Incredible Hulk. But at least five times bigger. Don’t agree with me? Take one look at Salma’s prenatal stomach and, if you can’t feasibly see a comic book character the size of a bus gestating in there, you’re legally blind. Honestly, how are you even reading this? Oh, the site comes in Braille. Well then, you’re welcome, blindy.


  1. fuphdog

    congrats Selma!!

  2. lee lee

    SUPER SELMA!!! nearly first!

  3. That’s a sexy pregnant lady! Boobs are cool!

  4. supes

    That big pink thing scares me.

  5. big

    that explains the flooding

  6. wedgeone

    Tom Cruise had to buy a new roasting pan for the placenta. He’s marinating it now (in semen).

  7. Janice

    I heard that she gave birth to an entire hotel cleaning crew.

  8. Riotboy

    I hope her boobies stay bigger.

    /loves the ta-tas

  9. Oops, I crapped my pants!

    Did I read that right? It seems like he wrote only one kid came out of that woman.

  10. I hate celebrities

    Man that baby will never go hungry.
    Selma can probably hold 2 litres of mama milk in each boob.

    Hmmmmm suddenly she is appearing less sexy and much more farm animal like to me.

  11. tommy salami

    her vagina’s nickname is SMELLMA

  12. She was about 3 years preganant wasn’t she?
    daily hot babes and retro video games

  13. Gonna miss those titties

  14. eMM

    God bless her for putting up with looked super uncomfortable..and she was like, 2 years pregnant too. : ( This lady’s kid was only 7 lbs. Mine was over 10 lbs. and horribly, I was even bigger than she was.

    Thank God she finally gave birth. Baby prolly came out mooing.

  15. she only had ONE kid? from that pic, it looks like she was about to give birth to three!

  16. Hemlock Queen

    blah blah blah

    Okay, Fish. Your letting your site go. We’re getting bored. I’ve had to float over to Perez Hilton’s site. Not a good thing. That guy is annoying, and the commenters suck. Let’s pick up the Pace, picante.

  17. hill

    Ok so yeah, she birthed a 5 yr old, right? Because I can’t see one child coming out of that pregnant belly!!

  18. havoc

    She actually gave birth?

    Or did she just finally explode?


  19. BunnyButt

    I’ll bet she’s thrilled that baby’s out. Man, that pregnancy looked so uncomfortable! I’ll bet she was peeing non-stop in the last few months since there was no room in there for her bladder.

  20. Zing!

    Great. Another hispanic kid. Just what the world needs.

  21. Liz

    Pregnant is dusgusting.

  22. CongratsSelma

    Congratulations Selma! I hope she’s as pretty as you. Ignore the fish dude he’s just trying to make a buck. Sometimes he’s very funny but you are prettier.

  23. CongratsSelma

    p.s. Way to seal the deal with your rich husband, porky! No way he’ll ditch you now. You should be able to keep your claws on him and hold on like grim death until you “earn” enough money to make up for the complete failure that awaits you professionally, since you’re old and stretched out now.

  24. fish, this is old! selma exploded already yesterday. are you ill? do you need help :-D

  25. jacknasty

    Congrads Selma! I don’t have anything mean to say about her, and neither should anybody who has ever seen From Dusk till Dawn.

  26. #23 is a jealous cunt


    you’re an idiot. selma’s family is old money and she owns her own production company. money marries money. don’t be jealous cause you’re destiny includes marrying that high school dropout named wanda down at walmart and having a litter of ADD obese kids that smell like wet cheetos and look like every other dude in the trailer park but you. HA HA sucker

  27. MrSemprini

    I’m taking bets the kid drowns on the first breast feeding. Seriously, you think those things are gonna do a slow feed? No way, dude. Gotta be a tsunami of milk! Hope it gets on Youtube…

  28. #26 is a drooling fan

    You mean the production company that went into bankruptcy? (I’d say “HA HA sucker” but I’m not mentally retarded)

  29. jrzmommy

    That kid better have a big mouth.

  30. yukadoozer

    easy targets for sucker punches, pregnancy/childbirth. Next.

  31. Just a jiggle 'ho

    Glad it’s over. I would have figured on a whole litter though as big as she was. Man she is going to need a back brace to hold up that bow.

  32. ZING has homosexual fantasies

    Zing is a fudge packing homo.

  33. Zing!

    choke on a burrito.

  34. Pinto

    It was a touching scene at the birth, by all accounts. Salma straddled the Mexico-US border and squirted the baby out on the US side, screaming “Run, pepita, run!”

  35. @34

    Maybe Angelina will adopt it.. If it’s dark enough.

  36. i heart silly rabbits


    which production company are you speaking of? ventanarosa is doing just fine. bankruptcy would break a small fry like yourself but salma’s never been a pauper so she’ll be fine financially no matter what may happen.

    and technically, you are a sucker so deal with it.

  37. Zing has homosexual fantasies

    Zing likes his dongs footlong.

  38. meja07

    All you people making unneccesary/racist/disgusting comments are pathetic. No wonder racism is still alive in this pathetic country we live in. We have pathetic americans living here that still need to grow up and realize this is 2007. Congrats mi hermana on your new baby.

  39. Zing!

    So, so sorry. This is America, and therefore I am to kiss your minority ass. So, so sorry I displayed some independant thought. Won’t happen again. you fucking fascist. By the way #37? You seem WWWAAAYYY too interested in homosexual sex. I thought you guys didn’t roll that way.

  40. Zing!

    Took me along time think up that lame comeback.I’m just a dumbass cant help it next time I’ll just keep my mouth shut.

  41. Zing!

    @40. Oh troll. If only you were as brilliant as I. The truth is harsh, but sometimes needs to be said.

  42. eww finally she gave birth! she has been pregnant for like 10 years.

  43. steph

    i think she looks beautiful, even pregnant.

  44. Zing!

    I’m just a fucktard

  45. Nic

    Your racist, sexist and just plain rude comments make me extremely proud not to live in your self-important, overly-critical country.

    BTW – I AM legally blind, but I’d much rather be that than an intolerant, backwards prick who belittles women when they are doing what nature intended. Misogynists come in all shapes and sizes…It’s telling that you choose to feature mostly women celebrities on your site – maybe making fun of other men would be too close to making fun of yourself.

  46. AmeriCanadian

    35 haha so UN PC…I love it! hilarious!

    Anyway, my PET RAT is also named Valentina. That’s Portuguese (Spanish, too??) for Valentine (female version.)

    So…she named her kid after a rodent :P :P :P.

  47. Makemepuke

    Well its about fuckin time, shit i thought she was about to explode its a good thing she expelled the fetus and placenta, …yes i’m drunk.

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