Salma Hayek finally gives birth


Salma Hayek gave birth to a baby girl on Saturday. The little one’s name is Valentina Paloma Pinault. While no pictures of the child are available, I’m going to assume she looks like the Incredible Hulk. But at least five times bigger. Don’t agree with me? Take one look at Salma’s prenatal stomach and, if you can’t feasibly see a comic book character the size of a bus gestating in there, you’re legally blind. Honestly, how are you even reading this? Oh, the site comes in Braille. Well then, you’re welcome, blindy.