People magazine releases its new “Celeb Diet & Fitness” issue tomorrow, and in it Ryan Seacrest admits he used to be teased for being “chunky.” Despite playing football, by the time he was 13 he topped out at around 180 pounds. He says:
“I was overweight because I used to come home and eat a cookie sheet pan of nachos and watch Oprah every day of my life. I remember that feeling and I think that drives me now to run and work out because I don’t want to be back in that place again.”
I can sympathize with him being overweight, but why does he have to throw in that he used to watch Oprah every day? Everybody thinks he’s gay, he’s caught making out with Teri Hatcher, and now he admits to watching Oprah every day of his teenage life. If he’s this determined to be made fun of, why not just send out a press release that says he was born with a vagina?
rori | April 13, 2006 at 9:05 am
Great picture too. This looks like the first moment after he took it up the a$$.
SuperSpence | April 13, 2006 at 9:05 am
He wasn’t born with a vagina, he was born hating vagina. Which is cool. Leaves more rampant totty for us amateur gynecologists. Seacrest needs to stop faking it with over-the-hill TV actresses and go straight to his future love: Tom Cruise. Those two were just made for each other. Seacrest is weird enough to dig Scientology and Cruise is gay enough to anally violate Seacrest while Seacrest is reading “Dianetics.” These two lovebirds were made for each other.
Grphdesi23 | April 13, 2006 at 9:14 am
This is defintely a cry for help…
bootface | April 13, 2006 at 9:26 am
fag
Benny | April 13, 2006 at 9:31 am
He was fat until he could find lots of men to poke him up the ass several times a day. Rabid anal sex is a real calorie burner especially if you are on the receiving end like Seacrest.
colormeskanky | April 13, 2006 at 9:40 am
actually, a vagina would make him much cooler.
i think “getting caught” with teri hatcher was his cry for help…or a joint cry for attention by two media whores.
Italian Stallion | April 13, 2006 at 9:40 am
Hey Ryan, you know how I know your gay?
“I was overweight because I used to come home and eat a cookie sheet pan of nachos and watch Oprah every day of my life…..”
mamacita | April 13, 2006 at 9:42 am
@7
Hey Ryan, you know how I know you’re gay?
“I have a bumper sticker that says ‘I like it when balls are in my face’”
Hey, I just heard a funny name for him the other day. Ryan PeeCrust. Teehee.
PapaHotNuts | April 13, 2006 at 9:53 am
Sperm must be high in calories and fat content.
gsprescueguy | April 13, 2006 at 9:53 am
Now he is only being teased for being a
no-talent he-rodent.
PocketRocket | April 13, 2006 at 10:07 am
Seacrest Loves The Cock!!!!!
Akapee | April 13, 2006 at 10:13 am
If sperm is high in caloric and fat content then he must be jerking off a lot
krisdylee | April 13, 2006 at 10:16 am
Fatty Fatty,
Two by four,
couldn’t get through the closet door!!!
shell | April 13, 2006 at 10:17 am
Seacrest….OUT (of the closet)!
derekd | April 13, 2006 at 10:21 am
DOUCHEBAG OUT!!!!!!!!!!
This guy. How in the fuck did this guy get a hosting job? He couldn’t host a birthday party for retards. Oh wait that’s pretty much what American Idol is.
jugsgirl | April 13, 2006 at 10:22 am
In other news,
Can anyone believe that Bucky went home last night? Dude, he was like the best contestant ever. Who cares that you don’t understand a word he says. I never understand Bob Dylan or Ozzy, and they are still famous.
I can’t stand Ace, I think if he wasn’t giving it to seacrest he would have been sent home already.
suzy | April 13, 2006 at 10:26 am
well, i have to commend him for actually looking good now! he weighs less now than he did when he was a kid. at least he got his act together and got healthy..
how many chubby kids did we know when we were little? there was always that one kid that everyone made fun of.. and he’s just one who made a name for himself.
Obadiah | April 13, 2006 at 10:28 am
Bucky is dumb but I like Ryan Seacrest. Why do people say he’s gay? Even if he is gay, it’s OK with me. I can’t stand flamboyant gay guys. As long as Ryan stays in the closet and doesn’t talk with a lithp, he’s peachy keen in my book…and my book is in the Library of Congress.
Obadiah | April 13, 2006 at 10:31 am
…Terrible Hatcher is gross and the fact that Ryan had his lips on hers takes a few points away from him.
Glossed Over | April 13, 2006 at 10:31 am
He may have lost the weight, but at least he kept his dignity!
On second thought…never mind.
Jacq | April 13, 2006 at 10:37 am
He has too many teeth in his head. You know, the funny thing is that’s the same way that Oprah got fat, too. If my little bro had raced home every afternoon to watch O, I would have beaten the shit out of him. )I want to knock) SEACREST OUT!
Jacq | April 13, 2006 at 10:38 am
BTW – The coption for that pic should read : But you said you were only going to put the head in!
prideofchucky | April 13, 2006 at 10:53 am
Bullshit- No 180 pound football player gets teased without the teaser getting the living crap beat out of them.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | April 13, 2006 at 10:57 am
When I was a kid I couldn’t wait to run home from school everyday, turn on BET, and cook up a nice big pot of crack over an open flame. I wasn’t the fat kid.
P.S. Who in the fuck is Bucky?
mamacita | April 13, 2006 at 11:03 am
@24
When I was a kid, we didn’t have cable, so all I got to watch after school were reruns of Golden Girls and Good Times. Well, sometimes Jeopardy. Dynomite!!!!!!!!!!
eatitbitch | April 13, 2006 at 11:04 am
Oprah. tsk tsk.
Star Maker Machinery | April 13, 2006 at 11:06 am
Ryan, the closet is only big enough for Cruise and Leblanc! Btw, that’s the same expression Ryan uses when he’s doing his walk of shame from “Bear Night” at the local bath house.
jugsgirl | April 13, 2006 at 11:06 am
Bucky was one of the top 12 contestants on American Idol. He was one of the rednecks who actually thought going on American Idol would make him famous.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | April 13, 2006 at 11:15 am
#28 – You know how I know you’re gay?
Because you know who Bucky is.
Sucka!
Spindoc | April 13, 2006 at 11:25 am
Standard Oporating Procedure for a lot of gay kids. Chunky, don’t hang out or play sports with other kids. Lots of TV. Move away from home, in college lose weight, get in shape, try some new hair products, etc…. Man, Ryan just outed himself as far as I’m concerned.
Spacedog | April 13, 2006 at 11:27 am
I think his weight-loss secret is being forcefed raw bacon while being sodomized by a leather-clad motorcycle gang.
You know, so the sphincter gets tighter as you vomit. Or maybe he just likes bacon. Or both.
jugsgirl | April 13, 2006 at 12:15 pm
osh kosh -
i love you. are you female? that would make me gay!
jugsamber + oshkoshb-goshdammgosh sittin in a tree. I would pay to hear bucky sing that. would simon like it?
boogaloo | April 13, 2006 at 12:17 pm
hey now – bucky is a cool shit(i happen to know). i am glad he is off that gay show & going back to NC.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | April 13, 2006 at 12:31 pm
Let’s totally go gay, jugsgirl. I can tell you have big jugs by your name. Let’s go gay in honor of Seacrest and his fat gay ass. It’ll be romantic.
DonLes91 | April 13, 2006 at 12:39 pm
#23
…unless he’s 4’3″.
Mr. Fritz | April 13, 2006 at 12:44 pm
To all of the posters: You rock! This is why I love this site. I did a search on him and found out he’s only 31 years old! Why does he look like he’s pushing 50? Could it be the tanning beds or Tom Cruise’s cock?
Trotter | April 13, 2006 at 12:45 pm
Mamacita, thanks for RyanPeeCrust. Nice visual. Of course, now I’d like to send you a bill for my dry cleaning now that I’ve barfed my Cheerios up on my suit.
PeeCrust. Precious.
dirtypiratehooker | April 13, 2006 at 1:04 pm
Seacrest is about as gay as Elton John’s fanny pack.
krisdylee | April 13, 2006 at 1:20 pm
bucky likes to fucky and sucky
Italian Stallion | April 13, 2006 at 1:24 pm
He kinda look’s stoned in that picture, I wonder if he smokes the pot? Not there is anything wrong with that, because I like to indulge every once in awhile, but people keep saying I’ll have short term memory but I think thats bullshit. Not that there is anything wrong with that, because I like to indulge every once in awhile, but people keep saying I’ll have short term memory but I think thats bullshit…….
Spindoc | April 13, 2006 at 1:33 pm
1. Hair Lightener
2. Eyebrow Waxing
3. Botox
4. Spray on tan
5. Spray on Tan protector
6. Moisterizer
7. Eyeliner
8. Eyebrow Pencil
9. Foundation
10.Lip Gloss (Coral Sunset #7)
Secrest Ready!
dirtypiratehooker | April 13, 2006 at 1:38 pm
I agree with #40, he does kinda look high, but what the hell, I’m stoned right now. But don’t worry, I’m not a pothead – I’m in college. So therefore I’m not an alcoholic either, even though it is 1:30 in the afternoon and I am obliterated. Hell, I’d lick the alcohol off of a deodorant stick.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | April 13, 2006 at 1:54 pm
College girls are hot – especially when they go wild.
MeganHarris | April 13, 2006 at 1:59 pm
Seacrest+Oprah+sheetpan+nachos= population of fat chicks in America.
Rowebot | April 13, 2006 at 2:23 pm
He seems like he is stupid enough to eat the cookie pan too. Also a suprise is that he didn’t bite off his fingers, because I know when I watch Oprah I can’t help but shove my fingers down my throat.
Tink | April 13, 2006 at 2:33 pm
I think he wants to be on Oprah and he knows complimenting Oprah is the first step. This guy knows how to get what he wants, remember he somehow managed to get a star on the walk of fame? He’s never done anything!!
Anyway if he gets on the show, Maybe he’ll finally come OUT to Oprah…
Iambananas | April 13, 2006 at 2:37 pm
I know! Buckey was cool, I want that grey haired guy out, American Idol he is not… and I want Kelly to win! She is so cute! “Pick Pickler”.. adorable… I like Ryan… he’s kind of funny and whitty, but I love Simon!
Trotter | April 13, 2006 at 2:38 pm
Ryan’s high on Amyl Nitrate. Preferred drug of guys who like huge cock up the pooper. So I’ve been told, by NewGuy. Then I shot him. He was lookin’ at me strange. Of course, everyone at Popeye’s Chicken looks strange in those little uniforms…
bigponie | April 13, 2006 at 2:47 pm
“seacrest in” “seacrest out”
CheekyChops | April 13, 2006 at 3:12 pm
Nothing says GAY like eating nachos and watching Oprah every day!