Ryan Lochte Got Dropped By Speedo
When you make it onto the Olympic swimming team, it should be almost impossible to not get, and subsequently keep, a Speedo endorsement. Literally all you have to do is jump in a pool. You can’t fuck that up.
Ryan Lochte fucked that up. CNN reports:
“While we have enjoyed a winning relationship with Ryan for over a decade and he has been an important member of the Speedo team, we cannot condone behavior that is counter to the values this brand has long stood for,” said its statement. “We appreciate his many achievements and hope he moves forward and learns from this experience.”
For those of you not closely following this story because your lives are full of wonder and hope, Ryan Lochte finally admitted to lying about his “robbery” in Rio. Even more destructively, he made site hero Al Roker so mad, he tried to stir a mojito until a massive hurricane formed and God himself cried, “Alright! I’ll cancel the kid’s endorsements. Jesus.“