Somebody Asked Ryan Lochte About Colin Kaepernick, Yesssss…
“I think I’ll do good dancing in space because I can hold my breath.”
“Goddammit, he still thinks it’s actual stars.”
Depending on who you ask, Colin Kapernick’s peaceful protest of staying seated during the National Anthem is American as it gets considering this is a country that was founded on dissent – Not to mention the fact that the song originally boasted America’s awesome might at killing runaway slaves because it was written by a guy who loved him some slavery. – or it’s a piss directly in the mouths of veterans who fought and died for his freedom that he’s not allowed to use because only white guys can criticize America. Fortunately, Ryan Lochte’s here to share his thoughts that remarkably didn’t kill him in the process of being formed. Your guess is as good as mine. Fox News reports:
“You know, I’m really proud to stand for my National Anthem,” Lochte, who was widely criticized and apologized for fabricating a story about being robbed at gunpoint during the Rio Games, told FOX411. “I remember especially this past Olympics when I was getting that gold, [having] a lot of emotional feeling.”
Lochte added that Kaepernick, like any American, has the right to speak his mind. “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but mine is I’m proud, and I’ll definitely stand.”
If you’re a regular reader, then you probably expect this to be the part where I relentlessly mock whatever stupid shit was just said, but honestly, I’m just impressed that Ryan Lochte even knows what the National Anthem is, let alone anything about this whole debacle. So kudos to whoever sat him down with flash cards and a rolled up newspaper and taught him how to respond to the words “Colin Kaepernick” without creating another international incident. That couldn’t have been easy.
In the meantime, Vanilla Ice also weighed in, and I’m sure he’s going to be deeply concerned about the plight of the people whose music he bastardized in the 90s to sell to white kids in the suburbs:
“I mean that’s the National Anthem. I rise, and you know, salute that flag every time because we have soldiers that put their life on the line for our freedom to live in this country,” he said. “So, I’m not going to comment anything other than that. I will rise.”
Or he’ll say absolutely nothing about black people and tongue white America right in the anus. Old habits, right? Word to your mother.