Russell Simmons and Kimora Lee divorce

April 3rd, 2006 // 70 Comments

In news nobody cares about, Russell Simmons and Kimora Lee announced their separation last Friday, saying that although they were still living together, they had been separated for some time. And while no cause for the separation has been mentioned, I can only assume that Kimora Lee woke up one day and realized she had married a munchkin.



  1. gardeniagirl

    a munchkin that dresses like a dull fledged member of the lollipop guild. take that DAMN cap off.

  2. I’ve seen bigger stars on my telephone keys.

  3. CheekyChops

    She looks tranny-ish.

  4. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I think Russell looked up and saw that the folds in her fat neck were about to eat his face.

  5. Italian Stallion

    I hope she can still fall back on those green bean commercials….Ho Ho Ho

  6. OOOhhhh, yeah! Kimora Lee single? Are you kidding, me? Kimora is like one of those hot mixed breed that I’m always talking about!

    Finding out that she’s almost single is like finding out that you’re going to the Playboy Mansion. Once you get inside, you’ll gonna try to live in it!…

  7. LRonHubbaHubba


  8. Malakite

    Ugh. Her fat neck is so disturbing. It makes me want to vomit.

  9. By looking closely and counting the rings on her neck, you will be able to determine her age.

  10. Cratylus

    It must be very inconvenient to be a model and have a neck that long. I’m guessing it takes a good two to three minutes to vomit.

  11. Dizzam. Now maybe Russell will get up on Def Poetry and drop some mad rhymes about his split with his woman.

  12. Jacq

    I bet that they are separated because she’s a bee-yotch. I bet she’s also still living with him for the same reason that she married him – ALL THAT MONEY. It’s been said that her clothing line is taking off, but she wouldn’t even have that without him. I want to hit her with a round-house kick, but I think that it’d fall just shy of her kneecap.

  13. Jacq

    P.S. What’s the big deal with Baby Phat anyway? I’ve never seen that line of hooker clothes and accessories anywhere but the clearance rack at TJ Maxx and Ross.

  14. PapaHotNuts

    She looks like some horrid cross between Godzilla and Tiger Woods. I’d make the obligatory “I’d hit it” comment, but I’m sure she’d hit me back and I don’t have that great of health insurance.

  15. Tantrum

    #12/13…my thoughts exactly!

    Can someone say “Gold digger”?

    After she had a second daughter, it looks like her fat pregnancy face remained.

  16. prideofchucky

    I ALWAYS get confused on this one..
    Was Russell on “Goodtimes” or “What’s Happening!”?

  17. MizScarlett

    Russell better be sleepin’ with one eye open… this is one scary, psycho bitch. When she was interviewed in Vanity Fair, and all she could say was, “I will beat a bitch’s ASS” in reference to any woman who dared look at Her Man (read: Meal Ticket). She’s as nasty as a street-ho, a real mule in a horse harness.

  18. Grphdesi23

    This proves that Russell Simmons is gay. He’s been married to a drag queen for years.

  19. Grphdesi23

    This proves that Russell Simmons is gay. He’s been married to a drag queen for years.

  20. bjpack

    This is actually all a big misunderstanding. Not many people realize this but they were actually joined at the hip. Really. If you look at the picture you can kind of tell. They were recently separated surgically in another victory for medical technology. We’ve really come a long way.

  21. Tracy

    Wow… her neck is freakishly long. Maybe it’s like one of those collapsable cups you take camping… that would explain the rings.

  22. kazanski13

    Will somebody please Circumcise that neck of hers. I havent seen anything that wrinkly since I accidentally went into the mens lockerroom on take your grandfather to workout day at the local gym.

  23. lux

    that’s a huge bitch

  24. okiedoke

    #5 – Thank you for that! I haven’t laughed that hard in a while!

  25. amma

    Kimora is not only gorgeous {that is a bad pic} she is very saavy.
    As for him and them…he constantly cheats on her. I mean, if you want to sleep around, great. But don’t get married and have kids.
    Good for her!

  26. gogoboots

    She’s making buckets of money outta this I shit you not…a very good move for a woman who’s probably half that munchkin’s age…

  27. LookAtME

    ET Phone Home!

  28. Janice Dickenson Told Kimora that she was tacky and low class. When you’re getting tips on being classy from Janice (Bag of Crap) Dickenson, you’re about as low rent as you can get. All I gotta say is though, she earned her money the old fashioned way…on her back.

  29. Evangelia

    #17 – i read that article too, and it was so scary it practically gave me nightmares. and then i was in borders the other day, and i saw that kimora has a book out!? it’s called, “fabulosity”. which is not only a made-up word, but it’s not even a GOOD made-up word.

    she looks like she’s from that culture where women wear decorative rings around their necks and stretch them to like 2 feet long. is that maori?

  30. QOTD

    Shit, I forbid my dtr from wearing any of her ghetto fab crappy tranny clothes. And what the hell happened to her fucking neck?

    #5: LMFAO!

  31. al rarow

    …or that he woke up and realized he had married a hosebeast.

  32. RedInk

    Is Kimora’s daddy the Michelin Man?

    nice neck…


  33. imabeeatch

    It took her a long time to get her neck that long. See the before picture before she took the rings off?

  34. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Fabulosity: The velocity at which Lance Armstrong can ride a bike around the circumference of your fat, tortoise neck without dying from exhaustion.

  35. Kimora Lee left Russell?

    Expect to see her on The Surreal Life in….three years.

  36. Kelly

    Me sucky long time. . . .

  37. ohthatkate

    if russell and kimora can’t make it — what couple will furnish their home with hundreds of animal print pillows?

  38. nbk

    Read her own review of her own book:

    Fabulosity has something to say to you. …whether it’s finding Mr. Right, or rocking the latest fashion trend. Packed with useful lessons and Kimora’s personal tips, this book will be your instruction manual to empowering yourself … and unleashing your inner fabulosity.

    Hm, I have always wanted to marry a guy for money but couldn’t find the gut to do it. I better go get this book to empower myself.

  39. gogoboots

    #33 and #36, why don’t you keep your racist remarks to your racist selves?

  40. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh


  41. sirokai

    Russel and Kimora didn’t last? How’s that for unexpected! In other news, Thursday came after Wednesday and a pregnant dog gave birth to puppies.

  42. HughJorganthethird

    Fuck me I bet that chick is better built than half the dudes on this site.

    I can’t even imagine what kind of deep throating she can get up to with a neck like that. oh wait, yes I can..

  43. DrDanny

    zero minus zer0 = zero
    Dem peeps is null and void.

  44. juicylips

    I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. I KNEW THIS SHIT WAS NOT GOING TO LAST!!!

    She has got to be the fakest most gold digginiest hoe on the planet. AND SHES LAME TO BOOT. Everything she does sucks including her tacky ghetto hood rat clothing line that I wouldnt let my dog wear. She’s got about as much class as any random street walker. I will never forget the day that MARIAH CAREY of all people told this bitch she had a bad attitude and was low class. Divorcing this transvestite is the smartest thing Russell Simmons has ever done and I make that statement knowing full well that he started Def Jam records with that weird white man and made tons of money before anyone knew hip hop existed.

  45. imabeeatch

    Geez #39 must everything to you be considered racist? Get your head out of your ass and lighten up biatch!!

  46. AsIWasSaying

    He get her green card, she love him short time.

  47. LRonHubbaHubba

    Russell Crowe smoked a cigarette?

  48. Bean

    #4, 8 and 22 – Thank you! Her neck rolls are out of contorl!!!!

    I want to punch her baby fat neck

    I think she needs to get her tyroid checked or something.

  49. A897

    #23… LOL

    Shes nothing without him

  50. Chris'sMom

    It is usually recommended to pay the extra money to have the neck lift thrown into the deal when getting plastic surgery. My gosh look at that sag going on!

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