Russell Crowe has been sentenced to a conditional discharge after pleading guilty to third-degree assault today.
Manhattan Criminal Court Judge Kathryn Freed sentenced the actor to a conditional discharge, which means he must not get arrested for one year. The judge also instructed Crowe to pay a $160 court surcharge, which defense attorney Gerald Lefcourt said would be paid immediately.
I was sort of hoping Russell would have lost it in court and started throwing chairs and biting people, but I guess he only gets excited when phones are involved. It would have made for a better story if his lawyer’s cell phone had gone off and then in a fit of rage Russell Crowe ate it and then took a huge dump on the judge. A huge cell phone-y dump.