Russell Crowe finally settles phone incident

November 18th, 2005 // 28 Comments

rcrowe_1118.jpgRussell Crowe has been sentenced to a conditional discharge after pleading guilty to third-degree assault today.

Manhattan Criminal Court Judge Kathryn Freed sentenced the actor to a conditional discharge, which means he must not get arrested for one year. The judge also instructed Crowe to pay a $160 court surcharge, which defense attorney Gerald Lefcourt said would be paid immediately.

I was sort of hoping Russell would have lost it in court and started throwing chairs and biting people, but I guess he only gets excited when phones are involved. It would have made for a better story if his lawyer’s cell phone had gone off and then in a fit of rage Russell Crowe ate it and then took a huge dump on the judge. A huge cell phone-y dump.

Crowe Pleads Guilty to Phone Tossing [AP]


  1. an44

    Russel Crowe got fat. is fat. fat. When not thrashing about like a rabid mink with terets, Crowe enjoys curling up in the fetal position and coddling a bag of beef jerky while whispering sweet nothings into a handful of cajun-flavored cornuts.

  2. drowningfool

    What the F is Russel Crowe so mad about these days? He has won oscars, has millions of dollars, and has a much cooler accent than I could ever fake. Put him in my lonely, food stampin’ broke arse shoes and then he’d have something to rage about. Until then…calm down rich boy.

  3. MrPloppy

    Drowningfool, you fail to take into account that Crowe is an artist. He feels pain more acutely than the rest of us mortals. You

  4. MortyFishbein

    Russell Crowe is an overrated douche bag. He should have had his natural Australian ass beaten when he threw that phone at that guy. That’s fucking shameful.

  5. Audrey79

    All I know is I’m having a hard time reading about Russell with that picture of the dog in the cage over there >> Can someone take that down? I’m having nightmares of Lassie being skinned alive.

  6. tori

    i just love how easily celebrities have it when it comes to the justice system.

    unless, of course, they’re black.

  7. Zanathon

    Mr.Crowe has also agreed to do 100 hours of community service in a woman’s shelter.

    He’ll be showing the ladies there how to throw their cell phones, with pin-point accuracy, at potential assailants.

  8. Zanathon

    Al-Quaida has also hired Russell to teach their terrorists on how to propperly throw cellphone grenades.

  9. drowningfool

    Does anyone else find that picture of the dog in the cage that is getting abused hilarious and oddly stimulating? No? Looks like I’m alone…again…with my views.

  10. drowningfool

    Does anyone else find that picture of the dog in the cage that is getting abused hilarious? No? Looks like I’m alone…again…with my views.

  11. Donna A.

    I really like Russell Crowe as an actor. But not as a human. He really needs to get off his high horse. Pitty how the great has fallen.
    Donna A.

  12. The Scarlet Bitch

    I wish people would stop fobbing him off as australian, he’s originally from NZ. Just look at those hooded, glazed over eyes and that misshapen head, he’s SO NZ. I think. That’s my story and i’m sticking to it.

  13. pixel killya

    As my friend Wayne (with the steel plate in his skull) would say…this guy has head problems.

  14. hafaball

    Is that why they rereleased that movie no one saw? the one where he’s a princess and loses his glass slipper? I forget the name, but seems weird for kids to see the movie, then read he got arrested for assault, damn kids and their MTV…

  15. S mack

    haha eat the phone and take a dump on the judge that’s the best response yet to a celebrity shenanigan.

  16. Belle

    Do you think if I hit someone with a telephone the judge would just wag his finger at me and say “don’t do it again, kiddo!”..? It’s nice that the American legal system is so balanced and fair. Celebrities never get special treatment. Ever.

  17. HollyJ

    With Russ sporting that Neolithic brow-bone and wandering exotrophic wall-eye, it seems fitting that he’d try to kill his hotel prey with a blunt object like a phone. Ever seen this thing give an interview? It’s like watching Bush try to get out an intelligable sentence–painful, embarrassing, and strangely cathartic. Nothing is more enthralling than waiting to see if the mentally deficient will say something inappropriate in front of millions. I suspect that we’ll soon discover Russ has been living all of this time with only a brainstem. How can people worship this cretin? Americans are certainly winners at picking leaders and idols. Maybe our next President can be Anna Nicole Smith.

  18. Swair

    maybe he’s had a bad experience with fons in the past… like, a fon might’ve bit him when he was a kid… or peed on him… or something… poor rich famous fat boy… *sighs*

  19. Terry

    Can someone tell me if this :

    is true??

    Thank you!!

  20. ebayfan414

    What actually happened in this phone-throwing incident was that Crow became extremely agitated and jealous after fellow Australian, Mr. “Crocodile Dundee”, had so much success acting like a dumbass. That is, wrestling crocodiles. For fun.

    So he decided that he would show the world how daring and brave he was. And thus, he threw a telephone in a clerk’s face.

    Watch next week as Dumbass Crowe throttles a pigeon for glancing at him the wrong way.

  21. Belle

    I’ve lost more brain cells reading ebayfan414′s comments than I have watching an episode of “That’s So Raven”. Please, just stop. There is in fact a difference between wit and spew.

  22. Zanathon

    This just in!
    Russell Crowe is currently offering his dexterous services to the backup quarterback of the Philadelphia Eagles.
    Coach Andy Reid now strongly suspects that he’s surely Super Bowl bound.

  23. ebayfan414

    Yes, Belle, there is a difference between wit and spew. If only you knew what it was…shame. Tsk.

  24. Binky

    Let’s face it. This guy has been “phoning it in ” for years. Talk about life imitating art !!

  25. Binky

    Lets face it – this guy has been ‘phoning it in’ for years.
    Talk about Life imitating ‘art’ !!

  26. Binky

    Let’s face it – Russ has been ‘phoning it in’ for years now. Talk about life imitating art !

  27. Binky

    oopps – don’t forget the refresh…

  28. curlifries18

    He maybe NZ born, but he was Australian raised, and you can keep him. None of us kiwis want him back.

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