Katy Perry and Russell Brand arrived together for the John Galliano Fashion Show in Paris last week, and apparently Russell has cracked the greatest code known to man since the goddamn Enigma machine. Page Six reports:
The womanizing actor, who first locked lips with the “I Kissed a Girl” singer at an MTV Video Music Awards after-party, recently texted her a love poem he wrote himself, according to a friend. “It was cute,” our source says. “And the best part is that Katy responded by sending him a topless photo of herself.”
I think Russell Brand’s friend is full of shit. I’ve sent Katy at least a million “love texts” without a response, and I’m starting to wonder how much this is going to cost me. Let’s see, 10 cents per text times one million equals *punches in calendar* I have to sell myself into white slavery now. Awesome. Anyone know any non-rapey slave owners? I clean a mean window.