Russell Brand, I underestimated you

October 8th, 2009 // 61 Comments

Katy Perry and Russell Brand arrived together for the John Galliano Fashion Show in Paris last week, and apparently Russell has cracked the greatest code known to man since the goddamn Enigma machine. Page Six reports:

The womanizing actor, who first locked lips with the “I Kissed a Girl” singer at an MTV Video Music Awards after-party, recently texted her a love poem he wrote himself, according to a friend. “It was cute,” our source says. “And the best part is that Katy responded by sending him a topless photo of herself.”

I think Russell Brand’s friend is full of shit. I’ve sent Katy at least a million “love texts” without a response, and I’m starting to wonder how much this is going to cost me. Let’s see, 10 cents per text times one million equals *punches in calendar* I have to sell myself into white slavery now. Awesome. Anyone know any non-rapey slave owners? I clean a mean window.

Photos: WireImage
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  1. john

    is it just me or do they look the same?

  2. JADE

    That dude is sooooo freakin ugly. He has like weird Charles Manson eyes.

  3. Richard McBeef

    OK. What is so awesome about her again? Her boobies are big?

  4. eh

    No not just you john. I know it’s the uncool thing, but I like them together they are both awful and yet not awful all at once.

  5. claire

    wow, he has gotten fugly.

    I smell crack!

  6. Frank

    Russell, if you’re reading this, could you send us that photo, please?

  7. DJ Sirloin

    How do you punch into a calender? Sounds painful, though if it was a Jonas Brothers 2009 calender I would understand….

  8. Mac

    He looks so dirty.

  9. Gab

    #1
    LOFUCKINL!!!
    They actually do!

  10. Malcom

    Shrug, these pictures means nothing to me. I’m still convinced he’s 100% gay.

  11. two thoughts:

    1) Katy. Perry. Topless. Photos. -must have. who do I kill? Russell Brand? Done.

    2) WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT STANDING BETWEEN THEM??? IT BURNS MY EYES WITH UGLY!

  12. DJ Sirloin

    Also Anthony Kiedis isn’t looking so good in pictures 7 and 8

  13. Match made in heaven!

  14. lizzy

    katy perry is bullshit. the only reason anyone likes her is because she has big boobs.

    but her face is NASTY, just like that fucking awful dress she is wearing.

  15. Ali Knievel

    Russell Brand: Douchebag Hypnotist. Looks like someone’s giving Chris Angel a run for his money…

  16. Dude’s got a way with words. That helps. And he’s hilarious (most of the time).

  17. Jarrett

    Alanis Morisette is looking less burly than usual in the last two photos.

  18. Fletch

    Quick, someone hack his cell phone

  19. Am I the only 1

    Am I the only one woman in the world that finds Russel Brand attractive? LMAO Yeah, I know he comes off as an ambiguous, arrogant, slightly homo douche. lol But he’s quirky, I love his hair and intense creepy stare, accent doesn’t annoy me too much, and he’s funny as hell. Ever seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall or Bedtime stories? Both characters he portrayed were weird but at the same time fukin hilarious! I’m only 22 but I seriously hope I don’t become one of those fag hags. I find androgynous men so sexy. LMFAOOOO@15

  20. Rancid

    These guys look like Klingons. Paint the girl green, and we have a Convention here.

  21. Rancid

    Okay, that middle guy is freaking me out!

    Catch you with my deathbag
    You may think I’ve gone insane
    But I promise
    I WILL KILL AGAIN!!!!!

  22. melissa

    he looks like a dirty pirate lol.. oh, and he does have crazy eyes.

  23. I christen thee Mr. Pube Chest

  24. Jenna

    He SCARES the bitches into loving him! Hahahahaha.

  25. Jenna

    I got a copy of the poem:

    “Roses are red, so is your blood…

    …leak to the press that you’re sending me nudie pics or I’ll suck your soul out with my ninja eye freak powers! Bitch.”

    It’s romantic.

  26. Tanzarian

    I knew the ladies liked greasy pirates on crack! I was just 15 years ahead of my time.

  27. canadian goose

    The Brits have some fucked up looking celebs.

  28. John Prime

    Since when did Weird Al start dressing like a sleazy Armenian Goth?

  29. norton

    Ok kids…. HACK THAT PHONE!!!!!!!!!1

  30. Damn..the dude is a playa..

  31. Sarah

    I don’t know about you, Fish, but I use a calculator, not a calendar, for my calculations.

  32. Alanna

    Russel brand is hot. And the guy between them for all of you retards is John galliano, the head designer of Christian Dior. . Kinda makes sense they might be taking a photo with him. The guy’s a genious!!!

  33. You're not the only 1

    … who thinks that way only because he’s a celeb standup/host or whatever you want to call him. If he wasn’t a celeb and he stepped up to you at a club, you would act like a snot, laugh at him, run, or all of the above.

    Typical female … wouldn’t give the greasiest, jacked up mofo’s the time of day -unless they have some type of celebrity & money. Then it’s all about, “I don’t knooooowwwww [insert giggle] there’s something about him, ya know?”

    Whatever.

  34. yank and wank rhyme for a reason

    @19 if you are American you can be fucking sure that YOUR accent will annoy him, nothing grates more than an American accent, even the best ones are nasal and whiny. YUCK>

  35. therusskie

    Fish, I think you overestimated Katy Perry.

  36. Seriously that guy... REALLY?!!

    First Mila Kunis gives it up to Macaulay Culkin, then Kristen Bell gives the open legs welcome to Dax (… go away I’m batin’) Shepard, Megan Fox & Brian Austin Green (he wanted to be Vanilla Ice back in the day) are still grinding, Anne Hathaway & however her last loser boyfriend was, and now Katy Perry and Russell Brand… WTF REALLY?! Let’s hear it for really hot chicks with low self esteem! SERIOUSLY is it the fame or do all these guys have 10 inch vibrating cocks, and better game then fucking Don Juan & Goerge Cloony combined! Seriously though this guy looks greasy… wtf?

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  38. ppl

    old and ugly and talentless….

  39. Mel

    Russell looks off his guts

  40. dddd

    that guy in pic 7 is soo ugly.

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  42. nessaja

    I never liked him much before and I fucking hate him now.

  43. Darth

    Lol what do you get when you mix up the 80′s Michael Bolton with Jack Black?!

  44. B

    He’s wearing a see through shirt? And she looks at the cameras, not him? I don’t think they’ll hit their golden wedding anniversary.

  45. Gando

    @43
    Katy Perry?

  46. Galtacticus

    I couldn’t believe Heidi Klum with Seal as well.

  47. Kick

    Raaaandal….oh Raaaaaandallll…..

  48. he needs to write a book

  49. I wonder what the poem was for her to react that way. Hahaa

    -meream

  50. Jay

    Yeah, she looks completely happy! Kind of… not really.

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