Russell Crowe is Superman’s Dad.
The Other One.

“Now, hear me out. If you apply Kryptonite to the tip, you should be able to make the cut.”

Keeping with the Hollywood tradition of casting once-handsome actors turned comically obese as Superman’s space dad, Russell Crowe will reportedly play Jor-El in Zack Snyder’s reboot, according to Variety:

Christopher Nolan had all along been seeking an A-list thesp for Jor-El, Superman’s biological father, since agreeing to godfather the franchise reboot “Man of Steel” for Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures.
He’s got his man, and it’s Russell Crowe.
The mercurial Aussie is in negotiations to take the role in “Man of Steel,” which Zack Snyder is on board to direct with Brit thesp Henry Cavill set to play Superman. Warner Bros. had no comment on Crowe’s casting.

For those of you who don’t know, Kevin Costner is playing Jonathan Kent, Superman’s adoptive father, which I’m only mentioning because I already made a circumcision joke up top. Did I mention Russell Crowe is fat? Sonofabitch.

Photos: Splash News