Russell Crowe Lost His Shit Over Hoverboards

Telling Russell Crowe he’s not allowed to do something is not a position anyone wants to be in, so I’m sure it wasn’t easy for Virgin Airlines to inform him that he’s couldn’t check his sons’ hoverboards or segway boards, or whatever the fuck those spontaneously combusting arm-breakers are actually called. Via Page Six:

“Ridiculous @VirginAustralia,” Crowe raged online. “No Segway boards as luggage? Too late to tell us at airport. Kids and I offloaded. Goodbye Virgin. Never again.”

This was all on his Twitter, of course, which is now the premiere outlet for misplaced rage and fact-ignorant indignation. Case in point:

He went on to ask, “why did you not inform me when I booked my ticket? Where is your duty of responsibility in this?”

True story, I once checked a case of beer on a Southwest flight, and you know what I did before I lugged that shit to the airport? I CALLED AND ASKED IF THEY ALLOWED THAT. Of course, Virgin replied to Russell, letting him know that hoverboards and other items that have been known to randomly burst into flames are clearly listed in their dangerous articles, but I guess someone was supposed to read him that list when he bought his ticket. Also, did anyone tell him not to stab the flight attendants or run at the cockpit door yelling “Death to the infidels!” because we’re dealing with a guy who needs defined boundaries here.

“Mr. Crowe, you can’t wear the oxygen mask on your penis.”
“Why wasn’t I emailed about this?!” *puts on eye mask, wraps grenade belt around neck, reclines seat*

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Photo: Getty