“Look at ‘is, love, I’m pretending your bum is Kim Kardashian’s. Kim Kardashian. That’s like the Cadillac of bums.”
Before a warmup gig for his Messiah Complex tour last week, Russell Brand was talking to the crowd about marriage and basically compared it to being a monk before throwing Katy Perry‘s vagina under the bus. An act which ironically would probably turn him on. “Do you think it needs a wheelchair?” he’d probably say, eyes like a child on Christmas morn. Via Yahoo! Entertainment:
“When I got divorced, I considered becoming a monk. When you’re a monk, you’re not allowed to have sex with anyone. When you’re married, it’s one person. That’s one more than a monk. It’s not that different. I’d be having sex thinking, ‘Think of anyone, anyone else.’ “
I guess that’s one way to have sex with Katy Perry. Personally I’d go with, “If I start flailing around because your breasts are suffocating me, you let me die goddammit,” but that’s just me and my Viking quest for the one true death. It’s a thing I do.