Russell Brand Thought About Other Women While Having Sex With Katy Perry

“Look at ‘is, love, I’m pretending your bum is Kim Kardashian’s. Kim Kardashian. That’s like the Cadillac of bums.”

Before a warmup gig for his Messiah Complex tour last week, Russell Brand was talking to the crowd about marriage and basically compared it to being a monk before throwing Katy Perry’s vagina under the bus. An act which ironically would probably turn him on. “Do you think it needs a wheelchair?” he’d probably say, eyes like a child on Christmas morn. Via Yahoo! Entertainment:

“When I got divorced, I considered becoming a monk. When you’re a monk, you’re not allowed to have sex with anyone. When you’re married, it’s one person. That’s one more than a monk. It’s not that different. I’d be having sex thinking, ‘Think of anyone, anyone else.’ “

I guess that’s one way to have sex with Katy Perry. Personally I’d go with, “If I start flailing around because your breasts are suffocating me, you let me die goddammit,” but that’s just me and my Viking quest for the one true death. It’s a thing I do.

Photos: Splash News, WENN