Russell Brand: ‘My Marriage is Like a Sitcom’

Seen here foolishly attempting to launch a perfume line without using cleavage, Katy Perry’s marriage is apparently identical to a sitcom, according to Russell Brand. Because that’s exactly the kind of description you want to hear only two weeks in. Via Us Magazine:

“It’s just a normal marriage,” Brand, 35, claimed, offering an anecdote as proof. “The other day, I put a shirt on and she went…’You’re wearing that shirt, are you?'”
Brand was initially taken aback by Perry’s command. “I thought, ‘That’s actually happening? That’s a thing off a sitcom. That happened in my actual life. I wasn’t allowed to wear it. If she says don’t wear that shirt, I don’t wear it,” he quipped, gesturing that “where i live” is under Perry’s thumb.

Jesus. And I thought Taylor Momsen realizing her parents screwed her entire life would be the most depressing thing I read today. But don’t worry, metaphorical castrations aside, Russell Brand is learning a valuable lesson about love:

“All of us, really, have a deep yearning within us for love,” Brand explained. “I think eventually you find a spiritual and emotional connection with someone, and I think it unifies with everyone. I think if you love one person it makes you love everyone. That’s how I feel. Katy gives me a lot to think about. I like it.”

Katy Perry makes Russell Brand “think.” — Wow, I really don’t want to go for the easy gay joke here, but goddamn, dude. Thinking? That’s a purple coffin nailed shut with penis rainbows. Good Lord…

Photos: Splash News