Russell Brand has a new comedy tour to promote which requires him to do constant media appearances where he shares humorous anecdotes that hopefully people like me will repeat. Anecdotes like trying to pick up Mila Kunis only to have her say, “No, thanks, I’ll keep banging Macaulay Culkin,” so well played, chap. You stuck it right in me wheelhouse. Via Mirror Online:
“She’s so gorgeous, just so gorgeous and I was chatting her up and got the conversation around to have you got a boyfriend, and then you know that feeling of how long do I have to entertain a conversation?
“Then I go away and she keeps talking about her boyfriend Mac, this is when I was on Sarah Marshall.”
“Eventually she said he’s coming tomorrow and there was some sort of fanfare, she was so excited.
“Then when he came it wasn’t Mac – it was Macaulay Culkin. He’d got longer and looked pale and scared of himself, like a shaved horse.
“There was a horror about him and I thought, ‘you can’t f**k him – that’s the lad from Home Alone’.”
In Russell’s defense, Mila Kunis admitted to being blind while she was with Macaulay Culkin, so for all she knew a feather duster with a British accent was trying to have sex with her. Although, it probably wouldn’t have hurt to assure her you’ll regain your human form once the Beast’s curse has been lifted. Women like promises.