Russell Brand To Katy Perry: ‘Eh, You Can Keep The House, Too’

April 3rd, 2012 // 34 Comments
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Apparently Russell Brand really wants to make it clear he doesn’t have a vagina because not only has he turned down $20 million in the divorce settlement, he’s now just letting Katy Perry keep the house they bought together. TMZ reports:

Russell Brand is one step closer to severing all ties with Katy Perry — because he’s surrendered his interest in the house they bought together while they were happily married — if they were ever really happily married.

It’s further proof of what Russell said — that he doesn’t want a penny of Katy’s money and wants the split to go as amicably as possible … so far, so good.

I’d almost say this just made everyone on Real Housewive’s heads explode, but then I remembered their skulls are 228% Botox and synthetic polymers, so they probably just ate some puppies and small children instead. It’s how they show confusion along with being a necessary source of lifeforce. Sweet, sweet lifeforce.

Photos: Splash News


  1. Dick Hell

    What sort of wine should one serve with puppies and small children?

    • The Tom Cruise media empire is working overtime to improve Russell Brand’s image. Rock of Ages must have a successful opening weekend and Russell Brand plays an important part of that. Expect to see a very Russell Brand friendly internet for the next three months.

      • fish wants his frothy santorum

        I think you nailed it, Variety. But fish still wants to have his butthole baby.

  2. brand name

    The guy marries Perry, and then finds out she only likes it vanilla.
    He accosts paps and stays true to his word?

    I like this guy….

    Plus that time on Sept 12, he showed up at the BBC dressed as Bin Laden?……

  3. Disco Dave

    The man wants out of Crazytown as fast as possible.

  4. Cock Dr

    Obviously he has plans to go out and shake those moobs for some movie moola.
    Good luck with that, cuz I ain’t paying out a dime to see anything with this joker in it.

  5. “Show me the most beautiful woman on Earth, and I’ll show you a guy who is tired of fucking her.”

  6. Russell Brand
    Commented on this photo:

    If that V goes any deeper he’s wearing a cardigan.

  7. Matt

    Condisering Russell’s obnoxious antics and ridiculous dialect this is surprisingly civil move from him. Kudos Russell for knowing how to amicably seperate.

    I never thought I’d say this but… why can’t more women be like Russell Brand???

  8. fish wants his frothy santorum

    hmm…I’ve always heard “I’ll show you a guy who is tired of her shit” but whatever.

    admit it, fish…you’re so in love with this man you’d scrape your own feces off of his throbbing member once he’s done with you

  9. Buddy the Elf

    By the look of his daily outfits, all he took were the drapes.

  10. Frank Burns

    Why not, apparently he kept all her v-neck shirts.

  11. Deacon Jones

    Wait, what’s this?

    A divorce, and one of the people is turning down getting a fortune from the other one???

    (smacks head) Oh, it’s the man.

  12. There would be a certain incongruity about a man who dresses like he’s homeless and yet owns a house.

  13. Russell Brand
    Barn Owl
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay. It’s time for Russell Brand to do the “Ashton Kutcher”, shave off that mess, cut the hair short and wear a cowboy hat.

  14. Lunch

    knew he’d have to marry her to get in in her ass. pounced and bounced. big ups, Russ.

  15. Sweater Vest

    Too many fucking broads love this guy. He’s like the British Chris Brown, no matter how fucking douchetastic this idiot is British bitches love him.

  16. Jack Rapier

    Man card revoked.

  17. vekfan

    His tits look bigger than Perry’s. I dunno his financial situation but he must be doing ok to turn down millions.

  18. I had to comment… on account of all the silly foolish things written. I think he is awesome, as a person, just the way he is. And yeah… passing on 20M and a house does say a lot about him. As for people writing crap about him, I think that says more of them, then Russell. If people had to sign in on these things, with their real name, I think the douche behavior might be less. He is nothing like Chris Brown. Yoga rocks and so does Russell!

    • Justin Beeber

      Yes, we know everybody loves Russell Brand. You can simmer down, your God is still there.

    • Conscience

      Right so you want people only to write good things about Russell Brand else you’ll have a hissy fit. Nothing at all like Chris Brown fans, not a thing.

    • fish wants his frothy santorum

      he stands to make much much more in the long run…but hey don’t let that put out any of the candles surrounding your shrine

  19. dooood

    w/e he had some funny jokes in those movies where he played albus snow. and i think its ironic that some of those joke music videos are better than his ex’s music.

    idk why he got so much haters goin after him. its cool to hear british people talk or cuss each other. they’re fucking eloquent.
    plus i think english chicks can say “suck your cock?” sexier than any other accent.

  20. 20 mil turndown *and* a house? can i marry & divorce him? seems like a decent dude so far! not that i know anything about the rest of his character, but that’s a good start!

  21. vader

    It’s a bird, it’s a’s captain douche bag!!

  22. Russell Brand
    Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    Honestly, how angry does it make Katy that this guy has been able to easily move on and not look back? His easy going overly accommodating way of handling the divorce is definitely causing her head to blow up like in Scanners. Most soon to be ex-wives care only about cash and property, but not Katy. Katy really wants Russell to regret that he ever dumped her and that is the only thing he will never give her. She will turn around and sell that unpleasant reminder for a song and a dance. It would not surprise me to hear that Katy called Russell’s cell phone and he responded with “Katy who?” Russell has handled this divorce like a master. Bravo Russel, bravo!

  23. cagster

    I suspect he’d chew off his right hand to get a decree absolute.

  24. fur burger

    Despite him looking like the arse end of a constipated badger, he has come out of this divorce like A BOSS.

  25. Never thought I would respect this dude but its impossible not too now

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