Russell Brand Jerked A Dude Off

By: The Superficial / October 21, 2013

In an interview dug up by Radar Online, Russell Brand admits to giving a man a handjob for a comedy documentary during the height of his heroin addiction. The documentary was supposed to explore “social taboos,” but mostly sounds like the work of a director going, “Haha! Watch what I’m going to make this junkie do.”

“I trawled around Soho…going [to] various gay bars, gay gyms trying to pick people up with a film crew,” says the Get Him To The Greek star.
“I went in this pub and I goes: ‘Anyone want me to wank them off?’
“And this bloke goes, ‘Yep’. Like as if I was saying: ‘Does anyone want a packet of crisps [potato chips] from the bar…?’
“So we goes to the lavvy – me, him, the director – and…he gets his willy out. And it was not nice. The phallus is…I like mine and you see some others in paintings that look all right but his looked like a rag.”
As the live audience titters at his cringe-worthy tale, Brand describes what it felt like to massage the strange man’s penis!
He says: “I took it betwixt my fingers thusly. It were [sic] like massaging a naked mole rat and it wouldn’t go hard!
“And we’re…in the toilet with the director standing there filming me and he goes, ‘I think…it would be easier if I was able to touch yours’.
“And I [thought] ‘F**king hell mate, do us a favor!’ And the director goes: ‘Go on Russell it would be funny…’
“So I take down my trousers and pants…and then the bloke sort of mauled at my genitals while I wanked him off.”
Brand was determined to do a good job. He says: “I’m such a sex narcissist that, even though I’m not gay, I still wanted to be good at giving him a wank…”
The whole incident eventually came to a messy conclusion. Brand says that “after about 27 and 11 minutes, he spat a string of grey j**m.”

… The Aristocrats?

Photos: Getty / Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Splash News