If This Is A Drug Deal, Russell Brand Is A Genius

June 28th, 2012 // 26 Comments

“Drug deal? Oh, no, no, no, mate. This man’s a bloody vet’ren, ‘at’s all. He’s gonna gimme a call at that numbah, and, uh, I’ll hire him as a butlah or something. It’d be pretty stupid of me to just buy 20 pounds of heroin (Catch that, mate? 20.) from a pretend vet’ren right here in the bloody street, now woul’nt? Bloody ignorant, is what that is. Now turn ’round for a minnit, poor bloke’s gonna show me a battle wound. It’s very personal. (Bastard’s still lookin’? Fuck all. How you feel ’bout fakin’ a heart attack, mate?)”

Photos: Pacific Coast News


  1. Pretty good accent, Fish… Pretty damn good.

  2. virginia

    for a split second I thought the guy with the neck tattoo was david beckham

  3. Dick Hell

    Nothing to see here, just a vet paying for a blowjob.

  4. Russell Brand Buying Drugs Afghan War Vet
    Commented on this photo:

    What an idiot. Clearly he was borrowing some sugar to bake cookies with later. Don’t know why he had to go and lie about some phone number.

  5. Russell Brand Buying Drugs Afghan War Vet
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for this……and that explanation is probably an addiction to street drugs.
    Not smart to mess with the poppy product or Bolivian marching powder. There’s no quality control; you don’t know what the fuck you’re actually snorting up.

  6. I just can’t imagine there would be many drug dealers hanging around Chateau Marmont.

  7. EricLr

    That’s not his drug dealer. That’s his leather pants tailor.

  8. YagiSka

    Given that he’s a recovering drug addict who’s been clean a long time, I highly doubt this was drugs. Obviously he’s placing an order for prostitutes. The kind of specialized, medical grade kink order you really need to write down so nobody forgets what you asked for.

  9. Confusus

    Maybe Russell’s brother was just diagnosed with MS.

    In other news, my dog has worms, so I am totally going on a coke bender tonight.

  10. Deacon Jones

    He must be getting ready to watch his television show.

  11. Russell Brand Buying Drugs Afghan War Vet
    Commented on this photo:

    He is obviously giving him his autograph. The pics are just out of order.

  12. Russell Brand Buying Drugs Afghan War Vet
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d try to count up the number of fucks that Russel Brand clearly doesn’t give at this point, but I don’t know how to count to jack shit.

  13. Russell Brand Buying Drugs Afghan War Vet
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s writting his number down to a fellow addict,,, One member helping another,,,

  14. Russell Brand Buying Drugs Afghan War Vet
    Commented on this photo:

    T-Rex arm?

  15. Governor Scott Walker

    It’s Corey Hart giving Russell some night time fashion tips!

  16. Humpinfrog

    I think it’s totally innocent. He’s asking this not obviously handicapped vet to bring a wheel bound amputee to his room, around midnight, for some serious discussions. These discussions will include, but not exclusively, the art of brownie packing, using ass cheeks like large ample breasts, hiding needle marks under the ball sack and so much more. It’s like bible studies; Old Testament of course!

  17. Russell Brand Buying Drugs Afghan War Vet
    Stewie Griffen
    Commented on this photo:

    I am sure that he is just holding it for a friend.

  18. El Jefe

    For those of us that know how to use the zoom function that is clearly money in his hand and brand has a pen in his hand writing something down. Unless there is a photo of a bag of coke or some other drug somewhere in here, then there is no drug deal.

  19. Russell Brand Buying Drugs Afghan War Vet
    Commented on this photo:

    Jessie Pinkman – real life version

  20. Russell Brand Buying Drugs Afghan War Vet
    Commented on this photo:

    he’s just buying katy perry’s dried breast milk, nothing unusual.

  21. Russell Brand Buying Drugs Afghan War Vet
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s paper. He’s not relapsing.

  22. Russell Brand Buying Drugs Afghan War Vet
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok, so Russell, drug addict that he TRULY IS, will have some one openly photograph him, UNDER BRIGHT ASS LIGHTS IN THE OPEN, buying drugs.

    Ok then!

  23. Russell Brand Buying Drugs Afghan War Vet
    Commented on this photo:

    Charlie Manson Jnr

  24. Russell Brand Buying Drugs Afghan War Vet
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not the delivery method for any drugs I’ve ever purchased, and I’ve purchased allllll sorts. You dont pass anything in wadded up paper.

  25. Russell Brand Buying Drugs Afghan War Vet
    Commented on this photo:

    Bullllllllshit, Bonkus… No disrespect, mate… but anything, um, rocky can and often is transported via wadded paper. I’ve seen it done. More than I care to admit.

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