Rupert Murdoch’s Divorcing His Ninja Wife

Remember that scene in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon when Ziyi Zhang fucks up all those dudes at that bar? This will be like that except with taking Rupert Murdoch’s money. And still stabbing him with a katana. Deadline reports:

Media moguls routinely divorce, but this is different because of any impact on the Murdoch family succession issue vis a vis News Corp given his age of 82. Rupert and Wendi were married on his yacht in New York Harbor in June 1999. As part of the divorce from Anna, Rupert agreed that his existing children would inherit control of News Corp via the family trust. Wendi wanted that changed after giving birth to their two daughters, Grace and Chloe. But Rupert punted and actually startled Wendi by disclosing in a 2006 TV interview with Charlie Rose that the girls would not have voting rights in his family trust. He said they’d have an equal economic stake, but the decision-making would be left to his other children: Prudence, Elisabeth, Lachlan and James. “The fight that happened between Rupert and Wendi, after the program aired, is News Corp legend,” author Michael Wolff said in his book The Man Who Owns The News: Inside The Secret World Of Rupert Murdoch.

Great. Now where’s Rupert Murdoch supposed to find an Asian woman who’ll have sex with him for free and without producing offspring to usurp his heirs? It’s not like that’s an option you can just check “No” to when you’re buying these from the League of Shado- no, wait, here it is. Ha! Must’ve missed it. Well, that’s settled: One new ninja bride, barren, renounces material wealth. Plus Clearcoat. You never know.