There Was A #FreeTheNipple Fundraiser, Of Course

June 20th, 2014 // 52 Comments
#FreeTheNipple
Scout Willis Topless Nipples
Scout Willis Is A Serious Activist Read More »

A few weeks ago, Scout Willis walked around New York City topless because Instagram doesn’t allow nipples or something. The important thing is that it’s a very serious issue that required very serious celebrity activism instead of, oh I dunno, say childhood obesity, education, hunger, poverty, unemployment, domestic abuse, fracking, gun control, climate change, or virtually 8,000 other issues that directly impacts the lives of non-white and/or non-privileged human beings. So last night Russell Simmons hosted a fundraiser which Rumer Willis attended instead of Scout because apparently all that mattered was somebody with one of those weird faces that fell out of Demi Moore‘s vagina showed up. That’s how you fight the power. Also, just assume this happened:

HOMELESS PERSON: Hey, what’s everybody doing in there?
SHITBURGER: We’re like raising money so women can like show their nipples anywhere. It’s super serious.
HOMELESS PERSON: Oh. Got any change?
SHITBURGER: Eww! Get away from me!

Photos: Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. JC

    Please tell me that someone reenacted the scene from Inglourious Basterds in which they lit the theater full of Nazis on fire and then started shooting everyone inside, too, just to be sure.

  2. Karrueche Tran Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Short Round
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to take her and slap some sense into her about tattoos. Or just take her… spank her… have my way with her… and then talk to her. I know I wanted to talk to her about something…

  3. This is a cause I can get behind. Or in front. Between. So many different ways to do it.

  4. Billy Blaze

    She makes me wish I had three hands!!!

  5. Ashley Wright Breastfeeding Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Ze German
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll have what the kids having!

  6. Rumer Willis Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    tom
    Commented on this photo:

    That face ewwwww!!

  7. Russell Simmons Lina Esco Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Real Deal
    Commented on this photo:

    Gus Fring can do better

  8. Ashley Wright Breastfeeding Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Balls Mcgee
    Commented on this photo:

    Don Cheadle’s gone too far.

  9. Rumer Willis Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    When I look at her I always think ‘blockbuster!’

  10. I get the feeling these dumb as shit Hollywood chicks have been artfully manipulated by someone into demanding they be allowed to show their bare titties. Either that or Santa finally worked through a several decade backlog and finally granted my 5th grade Christmas Wish.

  11. Cher X

    Why is she whining over no nudity on Instragram? Has she not heard about the Internet?

  12. dontkillthemessenger

    Let’s see… should I give money to starving African children or the Free Nipple Foundation?

    This sounds like a front for Russell Simmons to finally meet whores he doesn’t have to pay.

  13. j/k

    I’ve donated to #FreeTheNipple Fundraisers for years. They’re called strip clubs.

  14. Whores will have their attention.

  15. If they were meeting to Save the Whales, I wouldn’t blame them for not having a whale in the room, but the Step & Repeat at a fundraiser for Free the Nipple ought to have a lot more fully free nipples.

  16. Am I the only one that feels that a set of 3 breasts looks completely natural under Rumer’s head?

  17. Ashley Wright Breastfeeding Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Commented on this photo:

    When are they going to do something about the fascist law that states the only people allowed to be breastfed in public are babies?

  18. JimBB

    I’m joining this movement, and also calling on Jennifer Lawrence and Natalie Portman to do the same.

    But not any reality star. Decorum must be maintained.

  19. Rumer Willis Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Commented on this photo:

    Their remaking “Total Recall”, the Paul Verhoeven version, 2014?

  20. She could have eight tits and it wouldn’t be enough to distract from the horror that is her face.

  21. Russell Simmons Lina Esco Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Commented on this photo:

    “Free the nipple”? What is Russell Simmons next charity going to be, “Import the prostitute”?

  22. Russell Simmons Lina Esco Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait, why am I not surprised Russell Simmons was behind this? What was his cut?

  23. Karrueche Tran Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Commented on this photo:

    Close, but not quite.

  24. Lena Gora Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Commented on this photo:

    Semi-free.

  25. Julia Price Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look at me! I have breasts, just like 3,000,000,000 other people!”

  26. Julia Price Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me tell you something… here in Ontario it’s perfectly legal for women to go topless. You know who does? Nobody. Because nobody gives a fuck, unless they are so goddamn desperate for atten… well, I guess I just answered my own question.

  27. free

    great gathering of misogynistic assholes in this comment session

  28. Russell Simmons Lina Esco Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Commented on this photo:

    He drugged her? Got tired of paying for sex?

  29. Karrueche Tran Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Commented on this photo:

    Beautiful woman ruined and tainted by Chris Brown.

  30. Lena Gora Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Commented on this photo:

    This nipple isn’t free, but you can see it through the bars.

  31. Karrueche Tran Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, I don’t mind ink. I’d do her in a heartbeat.

  32. Rumer Willis Lina Esco Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Commented on this photo:

    I just realized that Rumer’s facial features are sort of “floating” on her face. No matter which way you tilt her head her eyes, nose and mouth slide up to the opposite side.

  33. Julia Price Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Commented on this photo:

    C’mon, Julia. Why not be a good sport and show us what you’re working with.

  34. Karrueche Tran Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s too bad that Chris Brown has sullied this heretofore magnificent piece of ass. I’d still do her, but I wouldn’t cum as hard.

  35. Rumer Willis Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Lea's Mom
    Commented on this photo:

    This chick would do anything to get you to stare at anything other than her face. Fuck me, you could beat a sack of potatoes with a baseball bat and then take a crap on it and it would still look better than her face.

  36. kery

    this foundation suks since there are many other issues to fight for and If those girls want to free their breasts then do it !!

  37. yup

    Stupidest “activist” cause ever. Entitled little kiddies of privilege whining that they can’t go topless. Stupid, stupid, stupid…

  38. Julia Price Free The Nipple Fundraiser
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s legal here in NYC as whats her face showed us but I’ve NEVER seen anyone do it. My best friend has. Once. You know who it was? A fat smelly homeless woman.

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