There Was A #FreeTheNipple Fundraiser, Of Course
A few weeks ago, Scout Willis walked around New York City topless because Instagram doesn’t allow nipples or something. The important thing is that it’s a very serious issue that required very serious celebrity activism instead of, oh I dunno, say childhood obesity, education, hunger, poverty, unemployment, domestic abuse, fracking, gun control, climate change, or virtually 8,000 other issues that directly impacts the lives of non-white and/or non-privileged human beings. So last night Russell Simmons hosted a fundraiser which Rumer Willis attended instead of Scout because apparently all that mattered was somebody with one of those weird faces that fell out of Demi Moore’s vagina showed up. That’s how you fight the power. Also, just assume this happened:
HOMELESS PERSON: Hey, what’s everybody doing in there?
SHITBURGER: We’re like raising money so women can like show their nipples anywhere. It’s super serious.
HOMELESS PERSON: Oh. Got any change?
SHITBURGER: Eww! Get away from me!
Photos: Getty, Splash News