And, Wow, It’s The Royal Baby Already. Okay.

While Kim Kardashian is still keeping her over-a-month-old daughter under wraps for maximum publicity, not even 24 hours after giving birth, Kate Middleton and Prince William literally walked their newborn son into a crowd of people outside of the hospital like it ain’t no thing. “A baby, you say? Oh, right, this little chap. Yes, he quite lovely. Which way to the garage?” It’s practically refreshing. Even moreso if this kid grows up to be The One True King and annexes us back into the Empire.

“Father, someone just told me about America and what goes on over there. Do you know those idiots have nuclear weaponry? It’s a miracle they haven’t deep-fried it. Why have you allowed this?”
“Well, you see, my boy, courting your mother took time, and your grandmother – rest her soul – was murdered by your great grandmother, so there was that-“
“Silence! Bring me Excalibur. We attack at dawn.”
“Good form, son.”

Photos: Getty, WENN