And, Wow, It’s The Royal Baby Already. Okay.

July 23rd, 2013 // 59 Comments

While Kim Kardashian is still keeping her over-a-month-old daughter under wraps for maximum publicity, not even 24 hours after giving birth, Kate Middleton and Prince William literally walked their newborn son into a crowd of people outside of the hospital like it ain’t no thing. “A baby, you say? Oh, right, this little chap. Yes, he quite lovely. Which way to the garage?” It’s practically refreshing. Even moreso if this kid grows up to be The One True King and annexes us back into the Empire.

“Father, someone just told me about America and what goes on over there. Do you know those idiots have nuclear weaponry? It’s a miracle they haven’t deep-fried it. Why have you allowed this?”
“Well, you see, my boy, courting your mother took time, and your grandmother – rest her soul – was murdered by your great grandmother, so there was that-”
“Silence! Bring me Excalibur. We attack at dawn.”
“Good form, son.”

Photos: Getty, WENN

superficial

  1. tom

    Who cares?

  2. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Um, you’ll probably want to hold your baby with both hands. I’m pretty sure those things are fragile. No? OK.

    • Kodos

      I’d be willing to wager that she is more qualified in baby care, even after barely 24 hrs, than the person who posted this comment.

    • Jenn

      She’s supporting the head, neck and other important bits with that one arm. May the boy grow up strong and good, with his mom’s hair, especially if he’s got his grandfather’s ears.

  3. I liked the part where they filmed the hospital doors for the whole day. Great craftsmanship!

  4. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh, Kim’s in hiding until both her AND her baby have lost weight? That’s cute. Wait, no, what’s the opposite of cute? Shallow. That’s shallow.”

  5. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Could you maybe not kill this one?”

  6. Weeblo

    Do all welfare kids get pictures like this in the UK?

  7. Oxford

    I love him!!! Kiss, kiss, kiss…cute little baby.

  8. Like it ain’t no thang? That’s because it isn’t. I could give a shit about the Royalty and it is curious to me why anyone would, should be phased out, them and Religion ;) What a bright future that would be (would but won’t, sadly).

  9. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor kid I hope he doesnt get that “donkey face” after his father

  10. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    TheSupFan
    Commented on this photo:

    I love them–they just seem like a legit little family despite all the craziness Will has grown up in.

  11. This baby could star in a movie called “Babies I don’t Give a Fuck About”.
    Didn’t we fight a war so that British inbreeding wouldn’t be headline news here?

  12. … and yet it looks like an old, wrinkled alien wrapped in wet human skin, like all babies. Amazing!

  13. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    “Did you just try to hand our boy to the valet?”
    “Hahaha…yes. I did. Quite funny. Quite the mistake! Now which four of these people are the keepers of our child?”

  14. Urbanspaceman

    It’s nice to see that they didn’t dangle him out a window the way that American royalty does.

  15. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    Awesome. The kid already knows how to give the bird. A royal one at that.

  16. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugh. Poor William got his Dad’s goofy looks instead of Diana’s beauty. Luckily, he has his Mom’s personality.

  17. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Little guy’s already got attitude! lol!

  18. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    Learning how to flip-off the paps already. Nice one.

  19. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she already pregnant again? Jeez! All that money and they can’t afford proper birth control… o_O

    • Kelly

      It’s called ‘what a normal stomach looks like after giving birth’. It happens. She just shat a baby out. I was still swollen for a short bit after having my son.

      • Paquita

        It´s an honest mistake,forgive him.I mean,in Hollywood women are having tummy tucks and liposuction 5 minutues after their planned c-sections to make the most of the epidural,and before they leave the hospital they are back down to their birthweight.I guess some Americans just arent used to seeing what happens to *real* women after having a baby.Swelling is normal,bloating is normal (the IV puffs you up like a balloon) and heavy bleeding is normal…yeah,their´s nothing glamourous about the postpartum body and everything HURTS like hell.I can obviously see that “Little Tongue” has no kids,but for gods sake,doesnt he have a relative that has had one? o.0

    • Cori

      No, women don’t default back to pre-baby shape on their way out of the hospital. There’s always a little belly. You’re an ass.

    • Me

      6 weeks of bleeding and fluid loss as well as (painful) uterine contractions will take care of that. Elementary biology.

  20. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    He has his father’s hair.

  21. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    “No! No! No! You have to hold out and get a million dollar exclusive contract for the first pictures of your baby. You don’t just give it away for free. Haven’t I taught you anything about whoring out your family?”

    Kris Jenner’s letter to the royal family.

  22. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    With luck, they will name him Morrisey – if only to piss off Morrisey.

  23. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    Cue sick joke about him saluting his mother.

  24. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    Some priceless exposure for Omega watches.

  25. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    William – I want five more.

  26. I find her bloated tummy to be rather disgusting considering she’s no longer with child.

    • Aggie

      This is a future monarch. A symbol of my country and several others, so will you PLEASE stop comparing it to the spawn of a gigantic assed mutant that is only famous because Brandi’s brother filmed it when he pee on her?!

    • You’re kidding, right? Does your ignorance know no bounds or are you just a troll?

  27. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the heir – now for the spare.

  28. Cock Dr

    This will knock the Kardashians off a few magazine covers. I’m happy.

    • Let’s really and truly hope so. I don’t give a shit about the British baby, but if it makes everyone forget about the Kardashian kunts, then Pip! Pip! Cheerio! (British people say that stuff, right?).

  29. needAnAlias

    Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba!!

  30. That little white baby makes welfare mamas look hard working. Wow, how much will the suckers, uh I mean, the brits have to shell out each year for that blue blood motherfucker.

    • Oh, probably not that much. I think the “ends are meeting” around the old royal family pretty good. I don’t think they are technically funded by public funds. Besides, Will is a chopper pilot, probably making a pound or two in the military.

  31. thatjusthappened

    new royal baby? looks like we’ve got us a… fresh prince.

  32. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Mammomax
    Commented on this photo:

    Hear Ye! Hear Ye! The Prince and Princess have named their child Trayvon Zimmerman Obama Weiner.

  33. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    Does anyone else want them to name their kid Chalupa Batman?

  34. kery

    They look so cuteeeee!! Congratulations!!

  35. RasiJon

    She looks naturally beautiful ! This is class no fake and stupid drama.
    The Prince is not yelling at people to stop talking to him, he is a real adult man.
    Congratulations and blessings

  36. tlmck

    I know he is rich and titled, but that boy married way above his pay grade.

  37. uh huh

    So this explains why Kim Kuntrashian didnt “debut” her baby yet. if she did, then Kate delivered, her baby would become obsolete. I see what you did there, Kris.

  38. tom

    Wow a lot of royal fanboys here, who would have thought?

  39. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    B.B. Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    She gave him an heir. Now she doesn’t have to worry about getting her head cut off.

  40. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Jason
    Commented on this photo:

    They were disappointed that Bronx Mowgli was taken.

  41. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    How come I don’t get this reaction on the street when I ask women to diaper and swaddle me and hold me to their breast?

  42. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    Whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m just wondering what kind of pain killers she’s on. I was in no condition to pee let alone meet the press after my delivery, I need some of that!

  43. Prince William Kate Middleton Leaving The Lindo Wing With The Royal Baby
    guest
    Commented on this photo:

    oh the antichrist is born!! Good luck in life rosemary’s baby!! OH HOW SWEET OF THEM TO SHARE THIS EVENT WITH US PEASANTS!!

  44. anon

    If you’re American and obsessed with this, pls do the world a favor and shoot yourself in the face

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