After hearing about Naomi Campbell being arrested for beating her maid with a cellphone, the always angry Rosie O’Donnell challeged her to a fight, insisting that she needs somebody to “kick her ass.”
“I just picture this cute little Mexican woman working saying, Excuse me Miss Campbell can I possibly get you… ‘ and Naomi going, ‘Get away from me, bam bam bam!’ To make matters worse she had that jewel-encrusted cell phone. That’s got to score with the diamonds.She looks like you could snap her in two but she’s a tough-ass, kick-ass woman I would actually like to fight her. I think for all the people that she’s beaten up, I think she needs a big 200 pound lesbian to kick her ass.”
It’d be a pretty close fight, but in the end Naomi would probably end up the winner. Sure, Rosie O’Donnell outweighs her by four or five thousand pounds, but Naomi Campbell is freakishly strong and out of her mind. You can’t voluntarily get into a fight with somebody that head-butts people on a regular basis and expect to walk away victorious.
Trotter | April 6, 2006 at 3:48 pm
I picture it along the lines of Mr. Slave versus Paris Hilton in a whore off, only sexier.
tits_on_snack | April 6, 2006 at 3:52 pm
Here come the “Rosie O Donnel is fat” jokes!
*reclines with a bowl of popcorn*
downshine | April 6, 2006 at 3:53 pm
third!!!
naomi is an skanky bitch
downshine | April 6, 2006 at 3:54 pm
a skanky bitch is what i really meant…i guess i’m fourth to now!
bjpack | April 6, 2006 at 3:54 pm
She’d hit it.
Conductor71 | April 6, 2006 at 3:56 pm
Chewbacca Campbell could kick Mike Tysons ass even if she had her eyes shut, her hands tied to her feet and was nailed to the floor and in a coma.
She was born to fight – fuck it, she could kill the entire world with just one punch. Not one punch per person either; just ONE punch.
professor booty | April 6, 2006 at 3:56 pm
As Ivan Karamazov asked, “If one vile reptile devours another, what is the difference?”
downshine | April 6, 2006 at 3:56 pm
too is what i meant. wow i really wish i could edit :( so i dont look like such a
k-fed
PapaHotNuts | April 6, 2006 at 3:57 pm
This will be nothing short of an episode of Wild Kingdom. An big, black, angry Giraffe in a struggle for life versus a gigantic albino water buffalo. I would pay $5000 to watch this on pay per view.
Jimmy Jamm | April 6, 2006 at 3:58 pm
I never thought I would root for Rosie in any type of competition except for maybe the “First fat obnoxius celebrity lesbian to fade into obscurity” contest but now I am forced to hope she kicks some ass, preferably on Pay-Per-View.
krisdylee | April 6, 2006 at 3:59 pm
fuck that shit about that big ugly “supermodel”… i’d pay big bucks to see that carpet-cleaner beat the living shit outta tom cruise…
and yeah, i know she used to “adore” him on her stupid show. that makes the schadenfraude sooo much more sweeter.
Trotter | April 6, 2006 at 4:03 pm
Rosie should beat Naomi to death with Tom Crusie’s dead body.
Chrystal03 | April 6, 2006 at 4:08 pm
I think everyone perceives NC as “tough” only because she is a biatch.
We’re all biatches, we’re all tough. :)
Watching Rosie O and N.C fight would be like watching U.L.O.W (Ugly ladies of wrestling.)
imabeeatch | April 6, 2006 at 4:10 pm
That quote had to be a type. 200 pounds!?! Maybe her left asscheek. I think they left off a couple of zeroes.
I too would pay $5000 to watch Rhino O’Donnell beat the fuck out of Homie Campbell. Biatch!
imabeeatch | April 6, 2006 at 4:10 pm
I mean typo. LOL
CheekyChops | April 6, 2006 at 4:15 pm
I like Rosie. She reminds me of me when I was young and stupid.
sweetcheeks | April 6, 2006 at 4:19 pm
#9 — How do you find the time to be so bitingly funny? LOL LOVE the posts…
auh2o | April 6, 2006 at 4:19 pm
I loathe Rosie O’Donnell but you gotta give her some credit here. It wouldn’t even be close. Campbell, like all bullies, is a scared little kid on the inside. Rosie would smack her skinny ass all over the place.
Word UP!!
DonLes91 | April 6, 2006 at 4:23 pm
$5000 is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much for a PPV. I’d pay that much to see them go at it in person, but behind reinforced bullet-proof glass. Who knows what types of bodily fluids are cumming, er, coming out in that match.
Lala | April 6, 2006 at 4:28 pm
I just saw the headline on my homepage that two supermassive black holes were about to merge. But then I realized they were talking about this smackdown.
Spindoc | April 6, 2006 at 4:29 pm
The Coke could make Naomi freakishly strong…but Rosie is right she does need her ass kicked by a big woman it sounds like.
sweetcheeks | April 6, 2006 at 4:30 pm
Did anybody read Rosie’s haiku about Star Jones’ gastric bypass surgery? It was on the MSN hot gossip page last week.
It was god-awful. Nothing makes good poetry like a “bypass burn.” (Apparently, Rosie felt betrayed by Star’s weight loss). Really, Percy, Shelley, Yeats… all amateurs compared to Rosie.
sweetcheeks | April 6, 2006 at 4:34 pm
And, for the record, Rosie would SO win. Fat girls are good at two things:
1. Kicking supermodel’s asses, and
2. Ruining a funny thread on the TS message board.
Trotter | April 6, 2006 at 4:37 pm
Fatgirls are also good at filling the pages of NewGuy’s porn – that’s when he gets bored of little boys…
rds0811 | April 6, 2006 at 4:40 pm
I’m all for Rosie on this one. Someone needs to take that skinny bitch down a few notches.
sweetcheeks | April 6, 2006 at 4:44 pm
#24 — Trotter, you are a funny, funny bastard!
Trotter | April 6, 2006 at 4:50 pm
My Ma always told me I had one of three daddies, am I still a bastard?
Trotter | April 6, 2006 at 4:52 pm
Hey – remember Rosie in Riding the Bus with my Sister? Well, I’d like her to be in that character when she’s eating Naomi’s brains from her writhing body. She can say, “I LIKE CAKE!” and everything…
gogoboots | April 6, 2006 at 4:53 pm
As I said before they’re both so totally annoying they need to be sat on by a 1,000 lbs lesbian.
Saucie | April 6, 2006 at 4:53 pm
#24 Then he moves on to filming his “stories” with the naked barbies he picks up garage sale-ing.
Grphdesi23 | April 6, 2006 at 4:53 pm
Actually, Rosie heard that Noami broke it off with Kimora Lee Simmons.
To which Rosie replied “I will beat a bitches ass!”
Pelle | April 6, 2006 at 4:56 pm
i dont know about you but id pay good money to see that showdown! and tape it!
that-dog-is-shifty-eyed | April 6, 2006 at 5:00 pm
They should make this a movie. Like Cinderella Man meets Godzilla vs. Something or another. I hope there is lots of tittie twistind. I am doing it myself right now.
that-dog-is-shifty-eyed | April 6, 2006 at 5:01 pm
I meant twisting obviously
Pelle | April 6, 2006 at 5:02 pm
#23 so true… so true
Wild Rose | April 6, 2006 at 5:03 pm
As a mom, I guess I shouldn’t condone this kind of behaviour, but Naomi must’ve really pissed off Rosie in the past. Hunt her down, Rosie, and instead of hitting her with a cell phone, try appliances instead. Big, heavy appliances that will really, really hurt.
Devil Is Chrome | April 6, 2006 at 5:07 pm
Unlike Taboo, I would actually purchase a ticket to this event.
Trotter | April 6, 2006 at 5:08 pm
30 – you know he mixes the barbies with “Britney” dolls he’s “surgically altered”…
booface | April 6, 2006 at 5:08 pm
Hey Papa Nutsack, are you sad about your Tigers? I know that was so last week but I kept meaning to ask you.
Naomi + Rosie in bikinis, mud wrestling. Are you picturing it? That’s hot.
that-dog-is-shifty-eyed | April 6, 2006 at 5:10 pm
As a mom of kids who can’t read and whom I beat excessively I have no problem codoning violence.
“Shut up in there! Hungry? You know where the damn slim jims are!”
Spindoc | April 6, 2006 at 5:51 pm
I bet you in a fight Rosie would Lick her.
discreet_chaos | April 6, 2006 at 5:55 pm
Not to be a pain, but she said it on Monday’s “Tonight Show”…
playahater101 | April 6, 2006 at 5:55 pm
Rosie’s right. She does need her ass kicked by a 20,000 pound lesbian.
Italian Stallion | April 6, 2006 at 6:20 pm
Naomi would get her ass kicked by Rosie…
That would suck explaining to everybody how you got your ass kicked by a woman with dick holes in her underwear……
When she wins the Mexicans will crown her “EL Gordo Lesbiana Chica of the Year”
sometimesboy | April 6, 2006 at 6:27 pm
#41, Spindoc…ya bastard…you beat me to the punch…
Rosie’s quote was taken out of context..she actually said ” I think I could lick her…”
sick minds think alike…
sometimesboy | April 6, 2006 at 6:29 pm
oh yeah…what’s the difference between rosie o’donnel and a bowling ball?
if i had to, i think i could eat a bowling ball…
Lynette Carrington | April 6, 2006 at 6:49 pm
Naomi freakishly strong? I knew she was still doing crystal meth!!!!
hotintempe | April 6, 2006 at 6:59 pm
Naomi isnt on drugs…Rosie is just mad that she cant eat her out the OLD LES is washed up (Rosie)
PapaHotNuts | April 6, 2006 at 7:01 pm
# 39 Booface,
I can handle you calling me PapaNutsack, but bringing up the loss of a man’s team is just plain mean. I’ll assume you are a woman, because no man would remind another man of something like this. It’s guy code.
saltpeanuts | April 6, 2006 at 7:08 pm
The fight would go something like this:
Rosie: Get in my Belly, Naomi, get in my belly!
Naomi: (said in proper British accent) Get away from me you fat white ugly person!
Rosie: But I’m a star, I’m Ro…
Naomi: Hey, is that Tom Cruise?
Rosie: Wher…
(bam, bitch slapped by Naomi. Naomi wins.)
Naomi: (looks down at Rosie) Wake up ugly person. Hey, got a line of coke?