Robin Thicke Wants To Have More Kids? Oh. Oh, Jesus…
“Is my dick in the shot?”
“No, don’t worry.”
*shoves dog out of tub* “How ’bout now?”
Thanks to Paula Patton filing and winning a restraining order against Robin Thicke, we got to learn what an allegedly violent bag of dicks his as both a husband and a father. But like any egomaniac who’s basing life decisions on how good cocaine is making him feel in that exact millisecond, Robin’s planning on having “many more” children because why the fuck not? At this point, failing upwards is practically our national motto, so why would it be strange for a guy boarding a plane wearing mirrored silver goddamn sunglasses to pause for a moment and think how fucked up it is for him to say that at this exact moment in time. Via TMZ:
Robin was all smiles Friday at LAX when asked what people should know about him as a father. Of course, Paula’s accused him of spanking their son too hard — and just recently allowed him to begin having monitored visits with 6-year-old Julian.
If you skipped the video, congratulations on making way more brilliant decisions with your life than I ever have. But since I watched it, I can tell you that Robin Thicke’s demeanor is not-at-all consistent with a guy who just started court-ordered supervised visits with his six-year-old son. Granted, I’m not a pop star who has the ego to write a check for balloons that spell out the size of my dick. But I can say that if a judge found compelling evidence that I might have abused my kid, I wouldn’t be douche-grinning my way through LAX and talking about how I can’t wait to have more. I might be, oh I dunno, sitting in room and staring at a wall, paralyzed with grief and remorse, or say, getting my ass into rehab and/or anger management. But I guess I wasn’t destined for greatness like Robin, who, according to his Instagram profile was “born to dance.” Do I really have to keep going with why he’s the one douche to rule them all? Fine.
Complete linen outfit outside of a Sandals commercial. Case closed.
Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Instagram