Roberto Cavalli’s models to PETA: “Meh.”

Finally, Michelle Buswell and Caroline Trentini have given us empirical proof that – try as you might – supermodels just can’t see you if you’re ugly. So give up. Because even the supermodels’ bodyguard, who can see you, is pretty unimpressed.

Either that, or Poorly Dressed Zealot is this season’s must-have accessory. In which case, I think I want one in either red or Chinese.