Roberto Cavalli Is Kind Of Awesome

December 2nd, 2011 // 64 Comments

For those of you wondering when men eventually stop ogling women, here’s 71-year-old Italian fashion mogul Roberto Cavalli blatantly staring at his Russian girlfriend’s ass while she’s bending over in a bikini. An ass he’s guaranteed to see whenever he wants because he always keeps bills in his pocket, yet here he is taking a peek anyway because otherwise his brain will rip completely out of his skull which is really the only way to describe it to anyone who doesn’t have a penis. Factor in that he could die of natural causes at any second, and I’m genuinely amazed he just didn’t press his face up against it and go, “That’s a good pizza pie-a!” Romance is dead, is what I’m saying.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Carla

    THE TRUTH. ha!

  2. Um..it’s taking a “peek’. Awesome or not, I don’t want to see the other kind of “peak” Cavalli’s taking there.

    • Don’t look at pic #4, then.

    • Oh, yeah, like that absolves you. Now stand still while I strangle you with my Daniel Craig scarf.

      • TomFrank

        Hey, someone tells me “don’t look,” I don’t look. You…I guess you wouldn’t have listened to Indy and looked, and then the Ark would have killed you, too.

    • roughin in progress

      That would be unseen in the King’s English but that wouldn’t make you an Ahole though, because you’re the grammar purveyor.

    • It’s the Queen’s English at present, but thanks awfully for trying.

    • roughin in progress

      Even though Im right, you want me to humble myself so you could shine? Thats quite an ambition Justy. But I cant.

      • The Garbage Man

        You seriously think “now I can’t unseen it” is proper grammar, rough?
        I hope English is not your native language.

    • Roughin in progress

      Yes! Unless you want an overhauled of ms word, id say stick to garbage. Confirm, before you press click, you tripled check your comment. Hurry, I have limited time.

      • The Garbage Man

        Yeah thanks for the tip about checking posts before submitting, kettle, but I stand by what I wrote.

        Rough, the world is much kinder to stupid people when they at least have the decency to recognize that they are stupid. Take a lesson.

    • Roughin in progress

      Now now garbage man, I think you’re calling me stupid prematurely. You’ll have plenty of time to detect these errors as my Microsoft Word (believe it or not) was mysteriously off. You my friend have immpecable timing. I think its interesting there’s a group monitoring missing words in my text out of the hundreds of comments I made. Ill take everything as a compliment including your blind comment. Sorry I could not respond in time as im on my phone. I luv the superficial. Keep in touch garbage man.

      • un•see, v., to wipe from one’s memory a (usually distasteful) image; [Origin: 1999, Andrew Kevin Walker, screenplay for 8mm: "There's things that you're gonna see that...that you can't unsee."]

        Okay, I just made that all up. But I’m pretty sure that if it weren’t for that movie, people wouldn’t be using “unsee” as they are. Just as I’m also pretty sure that before Bull Durham, “lollygagging” went into complete disuse for 50 years, when they were spelling it “lallygagging.”

    • The R

      Retrospectively, Justifiable turned out to be exactly what he called me for not adding a dash between unsee. You may classify that under nit picking. And yes Garbage Man my remedy did not flow out of the ear as flawlessly as it should have. This is what I get for stooping to Justifiable’s level by copying and pasting peoples comments into my text editing apps in order to scold them.

      You see, It’s something I do to others, when I feel that they might secretly and genuinely make people laugh even though it does not showed. Again I’m not proud of it, because it’s extremely petty. And I consider them to be cheap shots because these gaffes are bound to happen to all. Then again it feels wonderful to appear as a connoisseur of nothing in front of others.

      As for you garbage man you can stop padding yourself on the back. You’ve noticed an error on the internet, not in one of Charles Dickens writings. And one who writes on first impulse. Not that I needed to explain myself to a garbage man, the only time I have to do that is during the holidays in December right around bonus time.

      • I honestly can’t say that I’ve ever seen such a stupendous lack of humor anywhere, Roughers. Sorry you couldn’t see that my posts below – and well as there – really did start out as tongue in cheek, but that hole you insisted on digging for yourself obviously required a backhoe to bury yourself properly. Fish made a typo – we all do – and that error was humorous in itself. I’m not the first poster that pointed somethig like that out, nor will I be the last.
        However, not being able to write a coherent sentence is something else – no matter how many excuses you make for that (“writes on first impulse?” Seriously?) you’d be better off working on that rather than running around bitching about grammar Nazis.

        FYI, it’s PATTING yourself on the back, not “padding”.
        You’re welcome.

  3. roughin in progress

    Will the grammar police view peak as his penis reaching the highest level? Nah they posses one track mind.

    • It’s “possess”, asshole. And I’m not even gonna start with how you fucked up your gerunds.

    • roughin in progress

      You see how adamant the grammar Nazis is? You missed on S and you’re an Ahole. Some even spend their whole existence looking for missing letters on the internet. Or perhaps the fake anger might have a rougher meaning? hmmm

      • Seriously, dude, it’s “the grammar Nazis ARE” and “AN S’. Missing letters my ass, if you can’t keep your articles or singular and plural nouns straight how can you find humor in anything?

    • roughin in progress

      I think it’s your way of making conversation with me. I don’t believe any other gripes at all. Its ok Justy.

    • Rough: I know you like the back of my hand

      “Hey man! You got to have perfect punctuation and worded grammar to be funny. Do it like I do, cut and paste from wiki & Google to show my vast knowledge” or else you it’s just not funny DUDE”

      • Wordplay is a form of humor – this is tongue in cheek, but the relentlessly literal often fail at perceiving that, or nuance or probably much of anything else.
        Look, if you’re ignorant you can’t “cut and paste from wiki and google” because if you don’t have a firm grasp of the subject in the first place, you don’t know what to look up. I suggest you wiki “English language” and tell me how that works for you. If you don’t get something, remain silent. Don’t run around bitching about grammar Nazis if you don’t want everyone to see your shortcomings.

    • The R

      Asking me if I know the difference between singular and plural is the same undermining question like do I think if it’s ok to have sexual relationship with a minor. Back of my hand.

  4. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Well…hello, Studmuffin.

  5. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    CavalliVision, engage!

    *BEEEYEEEEEEROOWWWWWWWWWWWW*

  6. cc

    Gold diggers are the AK47 of the 21st century.

  7. You know the only reason she’s with him is because he looks…so…good…in…a…Speedo…

  8. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    He must have a huge…..bank account.

  9. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    Kitty
    Commented on this photo:

    he tries to keep fit, good for him being all 71 and looking as good as he does. I think they are cute!

  10. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She even smears the sunblock into his wrinkles.
    It’s either love or extremely outrageous compensation in the form of material goods and money.

  11. EricLr

    Ah, there’s nothing more beautiful at Christmas than the love between a Santa and a gold-digging fame whore.

  12. The Royal Penis

    At least he’ll die happy when she fucks him to death. If I got to pick my way out of this shithole, that’s the way I’d like to go.

  13. Dan

    I need to get rich so I can get tail like this at 71.

  14. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Honey, you took too much Viagra again. Stay still and I’ll get you an icepack.”

  15. Venom

    And my theorem stands, as long as a man has money and power, there will always be a young hot skank (long term prostitute) that will be there to service him and tell him that she loves him.

  16. MJB

    I’ve met so many Russian golddiggers that I’m starting to think that Russian women have iron stomachs (among other things) to put up with sleeping with rich old men. Must be from eating all that borscht.
    I wouldn’t let this old pepaw put his gristly, elderly fingers on me to scratch my back. Gah!!!!

    • occam's boner

      Oh fuck yes. So true. And I don’t see the big deal here…there are shitloads of old codgers who are loud and proud about eye-fucking in public. They figure “wtf – I’m old – their redneck boyfriend won’t be threatened by my pervy old ass so I’m gonna take this shit in!”
      Yet another reason to avoid the beach.

  17. LJ

    See what a few million dollars and a trip to the Ukraine can get you.

  18. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That is a damned strange torso.
    He must pay her a lot to allow that body rutting access.

  19. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    Meh
    Commented on this photo:

    This proves Russian chicks will do anything (or anyone) for money. Gross.

  20. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    Anna
    Commented on this photo:

    he looks like an alcoholic homeless man I pass every day on the street going to work…

  21. Ina Garten's Panty Shield

    Roberto Cavalli Is Kind Of Oldsome – better headline

  22. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    LilDeuceDeuce
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a new look for Ke$ha.

  23. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    LilDeuceDeuce
    Commented on this photo:

    Lumpy thorax, non-existent ass: Kla$$ic Ke$ha.

  24. forrest gump

    what’s the deal?
    ………..HIS PENIS FITS JUST EVERY GIRL!!

  25. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    geee
    Commented on this photo:

    THIS makes me worried about society… Not some harmless little boy with a few bad songs out.

  26. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    geee
    Commented on this photo:

    love the tramp stamp.

  27. Rough: I know you like the back of my hand

    Why the effing lag? now there’s a duplicate comment.

  28. Rough: I know you like the back of my hand

    Release my duplicate post from the filters, please.

  29. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    WhateverYouSay
    Commented on this photo:

    Psh, with his money, I’d date him too…

  30. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    Winnie
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve seen worse looking 70 year olds. Good luck to him!

  31. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    thespiral
    Commented on this photo:

    Ke$ha about to get a blowjob from Jon Lovitz in a Beethoven wig…HOT.

  32. Nyan

    What ass?

  33. skunk

    soul less whore. damn that guy is textbook guido before it was cool to be called that.

  34. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Al Lewis is 106 today.

  35. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    King Diamond
    Commented on this photo:

    I want him.

    – Steve.

  36. Roberto Cavalli Russian Girlfriend Bikini
    King Diamond
    Commented on this photo:

    Imagine being those poor jeans.

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