Comedian Robert Schimmel was arrested this morning for allegedly committing felony domestic violence, and is being held on $50,000 bail. TMZ reports:
Cops got a call to come to Schimmel’s Calabasas home at around 12:30 AM. They observed physical marks on his wife. Law enforcement tells us there was an argument that allegedly turned violent.
So apparently Robert Schimmel divorced his first wife three times, then married his daughter’s best friend, Melissa, who is half his age. And then, uh, hit her this morning during an argument. So let this be a lesson to all you young ladies out there: don’t marry your best friend’s super old dad. Boy, it’s a good thing I’m here to tell you the things you just don’t know.
Photo: WENN
maaike | May 2, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Schimmel means ‘fungus’ in Dutch…
Jimmy Jim | May 2, 2009 at 3:46 pm
i bet the bitch was whoring with other old dudes, gotta slap a hoe when she gets out of line.
Dan | May 2, 2009 at 4:03 pm
third
Snaggletooth | May 2, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Remember folks!
Spousal Abuse – It’s not just for minorities,
because women of all ethnicities look sexy with black eyes and swollen lips.
This has been a public service announcement.
X | May 2, 2009 at 4:26 pm
He thought she was a shark, what the fuck do you want from him?
http://www.popduds.com | May 2, 2009 at 4:54 pm
maybe she didn’t laugh at enough of his jokes
the world according to ROUGH! | May 2, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Lol so long funny man!
Hitting women=Guys with no other options!
Galtacticus | May 2, 2009 at 5:18 pm
I wouldn’t be surprised if his ancestors are Dutch.He has a typical Dutch face.
Rhialto | May 2, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Hi first and last name are Dutch names.
A | May 2, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Man, if he goes to jail, his asshole would be ripped 30 ways from Sunday. This goes for all the celebrities who pull this shit, that is why they spent so much money on the best legal system because they know they would be the first pick to become someones whore in the choky.
pappy smeary | May 2, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Maybe Hitler was right about the blacks and the jews
annie | May 2, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Why isnt Chris Brown in jail yet?
pappy smeary | May 2, 2009 at 5:33 pm
maybe hitler was right about the blacks and the jews, im just sayin
A | May 2, 2009 at 5:40 pm
There is no maybe.
Nero | May 2, 2009 at 5:41 pm
About 95% of a population has to do with domestic violence.I would say 100%.
Rachel | May 2, 2009 at 6:09 pm
Who the hell is this guy?
mikeock | May 2, 2009 at 6:09 pm
idiot.
mikeock | May 2, 2009 at 6:09 pm
idiot.
. | May 2, 2009 at 6:11 pm
hahaha, fungus : )
justifiable | May 2, 2009 at 6:24 pm
What? Domestic violence on his twentysomething “soulmate,” his daughter’s friend that he met when she came with her to visit when he was undergoing chemo? Who he swore he’d give up when his wife said she’d stay with him throughout his treatment, so he’d have an intact family in case he died? Who he kept on seeing anyway all during treatment? Who he then knocked up and then divorced his wife over, and married?
Well, I for one am SHOCKED.
I never would have predicted any problems in THAT marriage, no siree.
Ed Castillo | May 2, 2009 at 7:05 pm
any pixxx of the girl? but her f***ability factor is sky high!
Ed Castillo | May 2, 2009 at 7:05 pm
any pixxx of the girl? bet her f***ability factor is sky high!
Sodomy_is_for_girls | May 2, 2009 at 7:11 pm
He is a very funny guy who was instrumental in the breaking down of walls which define what is acceptable comedy.
His routines made dirty sex acts public.
He is my favorite comedian.
That being said; if he is knocking women around: fuck him.
Joseph | May 2, 2009 at 7:32 pm
I wanna know what happened first. Aint right to raise a hand buuuuut if she rose one first and he went back and left a mark then hey, don’t hit unless you plan to get the smack back. We’ll see as things develop. It’s not like Chris Brown and tryin to beat Rihanna till she’s mostly dead “hopes someone gets that part”.
Jesse | May 2, 2009 at 7:49 pm
What, does he think he’s a n’igger?
Narcissist | May 2, 2009 at 8:44 pm
Melissa Schimmel doesn’t look 1/2 his age to me. Maybe 13/20 of his age.
(click my name)
http://www.howardstern.com/image.hs?ts=1&i=/RS-02-27-08—melissa-schimmel–bob-schimmel-and-jessica-schimmel.jpg
Truth Doctor | May 2, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Guys, let’s hold off on judging him until we know if she left the kitchen.
MrSatyre | May 2, 2009 at 10:50 pm
Who?
gerard vandenberg | May 3, 2009 at 12:32 am
A man with whisker or moustache: NAIL THEM, folks!!
Darth | May 3, 2009 at 6:49 am
Hi!
Nero | May 3, 2009 at 6:55 am
Where’s my cutie?
mikeock | May 3, 2009 at 7:15 am
Skinny old cancer ridden fuck.
lily white | May 3, 2009 at 9:12 am
Recently I found a hot club — SeekingTall.com — just for hot tall gals and guys to find their cupid. Come on, tall singles. Don’t miss your lover.
denise | May 3, 2009 at 10:37 am
# 11 pappy smeary is a fucking idiot
not funny and i’m guessing very ugly and LONELY
poor asshole
curl up and die somewhere
NOBODY LOVES U
the world according to ROUGH! | May 3, 2009 at 11:31 am
Superfish didnt get the news? PINK announce shes halfa fag!!!!
How dare you think you have more right on this earth than me- FUCWIT | May 3, 2009 at 11:57 am
Er blacks and the jews? Fugwits…..why is the arian race so great? Losers…..
No matter how hard you have tried the blacks and the jews continue to live because we have just as much right to be on this earth…losers
How dare you! So white guys don’t beat their grilfriends huh?
smarg | May 3, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Yeah, who in the HELL is this guy, and he looks like a creep because he IS.
Pappy | May 3, 2009 at 2:57 pm
I said MAYBE…
u guys are pretty harsh ;,-(
Caucasoid | May 3, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Yes the innocent wonderful jews have been kicked out of how many countries? 45? Now they have their own and they behave like savages. The indigenous population, the Palestinians, are treated worse than animals, and yet, Israel gets over $3 billion a year from this nation for their military. Nothing strange about that. Vulgar in it’s display of criminal power maybe. But not unusual considering the strongest lobby in congress is the jewish. AIPAC is the strongest of them all. Israel recieves 40% of all our international aid. As though they need one single penny.
As Americans we need to take all that money back from these Madoffs. And charge them a hidious usurous interests as well. That would help to pay off the debt ther helped create to burden/destroy their worst fear – the white man.
White men have built everything. Don’t like it? Go the fuck away and get out of our countries all you parasites and dullards and thieves.
stand up guy | May 3, 2009 at 5:47 pm
@ 5 that comment had me snorting my warm milk all over the keyboard… very funny! you know i wasnt going to attack you, but now i got to – the other sharks were watching…
i guess he will be the one learning to talk dirty to his cell mate now…
cant wait for his next dvd. how i survived prison – roberta schimmel live
lori | May 3, 2009 at 6:52 pm
I looked up one of his demos on YouTube. He is not funny. He is truly awful to watch and listen to.
Steve in the South | May 3, 2009 at 11:51 pm
The jury is out, but he’s probably facing time in jail. Worse than jail will be when he discovers most of us have never heard of him.
diebritney | May 4, 2009 at 12:29 am
His young wife is really pretty.
WTF Report | May 4, 2009 at 2:53 am
#39 I think as Americans we should take all our tax dollars back from Dick Cheney and the white men at Halliburton. You know, the ones that are moving it all to fucking Dubai. They’re not parasites, oh hell no. Great Americans, to a man.
thetruth | May 4, 2009 at 3:40 am
The only reason I know of Schimmel is because he appeared on Howard Stern years ago when he married his daughter’s friend. Supposedly he is a comic.
I’ve never heard of him because of his act. Just because of his bullshit.
44 is not real | May 4, 2009 at 7:39 am
You certainly oversimplify the world don’t you? Yes Dick Cheney didn’t answer to his Masters, did he. These politicians/clowns merely do the bidding of the oligarchs that have placed them in power.
If you knew anything at all about world history this last fucking century you would realize we have fought 2 world wars primarily over control of oil. Cheney was neither the real power or acting in the interests of Haliburton. Big Oil has partly run the World Circus for quite a while now and it is the owners of the multinational corporations that have stolen all the power away from sovereign nations.
Marya | May 4, 2009 at 5:28 pm
This has nothing to do with race or religion…come on people-Really???
This is a man that thinks little of women most likly because of the way his mother allowed men to treat her. it’s easier for him to hit a woman and scare her than it is to get a divorce.
He should go for men instead. when he decides to pull this crap again – the man can knock the hell out of him right back.
We also need to remember that just becasue he’s famous doesn’t mean he’s not human…which equals into a liar, cheat, anger-indulged, hypocrit right? Come on really, who can throw stones here? If we all got caught for everything we’ve ever done-jail would prob be the least of our problems.
There’s no reason to hit a woman…but men of all races and religions and every area of the world do it…so lets blame it on the man not the things he’s not able to control or change!
Marya | May 4, 2009 at 5:28 pm
This has nothing to do with race or religion…come on people-Really???
This is a man that thinks little of women most likly because of the way his mother allowed men to treat her. it’s easier for him to hit a woman and scare her than it is to get a divorce.
He should go for men instead. when he decides to pull this crap again – the man can knock the hell out of him right back.
We also need to remember that just becasue he’s famous doesn’t mean he’s not human…which equals into a liar, cheat, anger-indulged, hypocrit right? Come on really, who can throw stones here? If we all got caught for everything we’ve ever done-jail would prob be the least of our problems.
There’s no reason to hit a woman…but men of all races and religions and every area of the world do it…so lets blame it on the man not the things he’s not able to control or change!
Marya | May 4, 2009 at 5:29 pm
This has nothing to do with race or religion…come on people-Really???
This is a man that thinks little of women most likly because of the way his mother allowed men to treat her. it’s easier for him to hit a woman and scare her than it is to get a divorce.
He should go for men instead. when he decides to pull this crap again – the man can knock the hell out of him right back.
We also need to remember that just becasue he’s famous doesn’t mean he’s not human…which equals into a liar, cheat, anger-indulged, hypocrit right? Come on really, who can throw stones here? If we all got caught for everything we’ve ever done-jail would prob be the least of our problems.
There’s no reason to hit a woman…but men of all races and religions and every area of the world do it…so lets blame it on the man not the things he’s not able to control or change!
Saturday TV Funhouse! | May 5, 2009 at 7:05 pm
How long before SNL starts showing cartoons of Schimmel beating his wife. Now THAT would be funny. Oh, but that’s right, they only mock republicans, not wife beating democrats like Schimmel.