Robert Pattinson’s GQ photo shoot

March 12th, 2009 // 121 Comments

In case you live under a rock and/or have a penis, Robert Pattinson of Twilight hysteria appears in the April issue of GQ, and for the record, ladies, I look exactly like this guy. Unless he doesn’t float your boat then I meant to say Mario Lopez. Or how about Ted Danson? Denzel Washington? You know what? Let’s just say my bedroom is poorly lit, and call it a draw.

Photos: GQ
superficial

  1. Thor

    Look, it’s the real life Vinnie Chase!!!

  2. Amy

    Wow. This guy is pretty much the hottest guy I have ever seen. I’d force him to fuck me at least five times a day.

  3. whatthe

    pretty hideous there

  4. Dusk till Dawn

    Oh wow GQ cover! Can’t wait not to read that !!

  5. Dusk till Dawn

    Oh wow GQ cover! Can’t wait not to read that !!

  6. tmreemboy

    Ever heard that this one appeared on the hot hook-up club
    ” WealthyRomances ——-com ”
    for wealthy singles to hook up for Love and Sexy dating?

  7. yum-o

    Hotness……though I hate the fact that they airbrushed him so much on the cover that his skin looks like plastic.

  8. Katie

    His nose is crooked.

  9. Valerie

    Following in the path of the funny guys on here, but my own female version, he’d look better with my sweet female juices all over his lips : )

  10. Amber

    Oh boots! Now he’s less hot. Also, he should shave. Thesuperficial writer: when are you scheduled to appear on the cover of GQ? Sports Illustrated? Maybe you can be the next VS angel.

  11. GuyHolly

    Hey dude!! Flock of Seagals called, they want their hairdo back.

  12. ass

    kinda gay looking-

  13. ass

    kinda gay looking-

  14. idiot

    Shot number three looks like he’s trying to plug up old faithful at the last minute.

  15. NipTuck

    Cute. Hot. Sexy.

    Yes.

  16. Brandon

    Chicks seriously dig this guy? He looks like he’s about to molest a child at any moment, and he creeped me the fuck out when he was presenting at the Oscars.

  17. GuyHolly

    Didn’t George Michaels have the same gay ass look 20 years ago?

  18. Mary

    How did he get his hair to stick up like that???

    Oh yeah…semen.

  19. Jessica

    I’d let him jizz in my mouth and then immediately spit it in his face. Or maybe, I’d let him jizz in my hand and then bitch slap him afterwards. That would be fun.

  20. Valerie

    “Jessica”–NOW you’re talking! What a sexy beast you are :D

  21. Zanna

    ha ha ha! Flock of Seagulls….good one, Guy.

    Jessica, look at his hair..I think he’s got spunk in it already.

  22. Randal

    Nice cover for a magazine that has helped boys become men and one that is well respected in the publishing industry. Even on top, Robert continues to down play his success. A true man indeed.

    Randal

  23. Lowlands

    I’d let him jizz in my mouth and then immediately swallow it

  24. amanda

    hes not hot
    hes got a nice smile and a pleasant speaking voice
    but i vouldnt fuck him with your moms vagina

  25. chirs

    hope he never has to go prison, he will be the bitches bitch

  26. Valerie

    @ Thatagirl! Or……guy (?)

  27. Guest

    I don’t get what all those girls see in him.
    I’m a sucker for british guys,
    but he’s really, really *really*
    not that hot…
    I don’t get it….?

  28. GuyHolly

    Seagulls…….Seagals, damn I work around to many Jewish Docs.

  29. Lowlands

    I’m a guy….. and I love to swallow @ 26

  30. Katie

    Anyone else reminded of Joaquin Pheonix?

  31. call me

    Dear Fish, I would have you any day over this flamer, if only for your witty sense of humor!

  32. Valkyrie

    Hmmm…nah. I just want to punch him in the face really hard.

    I think he is SO unatractive. So yeah, you other ladies can drink his sperm on tap and the more FOR YOU.

    Christian Bale. ::sucks tongue:: Christian Bale is meat.

  33. Lowlands

    Dear Fish, I like mine with lettuce and tomatos….

  34. Lana

    Damn he’s hot. Like me. We’d be a great couple ;D

  35. Karen

    He’s not gay. He’s one of those drug-addled icky-sex straight guys who get lots of girls and like to do fetish-type stuff in bed. What you see as gayness is the sickness. Well, a different type of sickness…not the Tom Cruise strain.

  36. Danielle

    OMG thank you for posting these!! soooo hot.

  37. Danielle

    OMG thank you for posting these!! soooo hot.

  38. SoTe

    FUGLY!!!!!!

  39. redsonja1313

    DO ME HARD AND OUT ME AWAY WET & DON’T BE THERE IN THE MORNING !!!!!

    OH AND LIKE JOHHNY DRAMA>>>> DON”T GO RIGHT !!! Not a good angle on that nose !! But I am pretty the view looking up when he is flat on his back will do just fine !!!

  40. redsonja1313

    ***fucking internet ***lets try that without the typos

    DO ME HARD AND PUT ME AWAY WET & DON’T BE THERE IN THE MORNING !!!!!

    OH AND LIKE JOHHNY DRAMA>>>> DON’T GO RIGHT !!!
    Not a good angle on that nose !! But I am pretty sure the view looking up when he is flat on his back will do just fine !!!

  41. Valerie

    35–oh, now he’s perfect! Bring on the fetish stuff, Robbie!

  42. lisa

    I see you have dropped all your attempts at having different content that Perez.

    Seriously, just put in the effort or find something else to do. I’m losing interest.

  43. LT

    He is well hot – in my opinion of course. He’s my sort, just as David Beckham or Von Diesel are other girls’ sorts, even though they look like a bag of hot manky dog sick. If you don’t like him, fine, leave him to the other hundred thousand wrist slashing emo’s and horny housewives, we’d be glad to have him.

  44. g_girl

    I DON’T GET IT!!! WHAT IS SO HOT ABOUT THIS GUY?!
    APART FROM THE FACT THAT HE THINKS HIS THE SHIT, WHICH REALLY PISSES ME OFF !!!
    GET OVER YOURSELF, YOURE JUST SOME KID WITH A STRANGE FACE WHO REFUSES TO SHOWER REGULARLY!!! YOU WERE CHOSEN TO ACT IN A MOVIE WHICH WOULD BE A HIT WITH OR WITHOUT YOU, DUMBASS!!!!
    IT DOESN’T MAKE YOU ANYTHING!!!
    God, I feel better now.

  45. Lain

    g_girl,
    Stop menstruating all over your keyboard.

  46. redsonja1313

    yah know can you really help who you find fuckable…. I see the odd angles and the crooked nose and lets face it he is REALLY hairy, and he smokes and is probably a nutter but he really just looks like he can slam you up against a wall and fuck the shit out of you !!! and well that works for me…. plus the british accents helps

  47. Serious, SERIOUS Hollywood douchefag. I mean just LOOK at picture number four. Tousled fag-pout of LAAAYDEEZ THIS WAAAY.

    *facepunch*
    *facepunch*
    *facepunch*
    *facepunch*
    *facepunch*

  48. rachel

    wow. I think I just drooled a little =/

  49. Mysticalmissc

    I wish I was 16 again, so I could post these photos all over my bedroom wall….

  50. redsonja1313

    @ 49 ………… thank god for computer wallpaper….but these photos still won’t get the Comedian bumped

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