Robert Pattinson’s brooding is corrupting your children

November 11th, 2008 // 78 Comments

Robert Pattinson’s roguishly stoned looks are corrupting America’s youth faster than that time Miley Cyrus showed an airbrushed glimpse of her bare back. The star of the upcoming film Twilight, an adaptation of the insanely popular vampire novels that hasn’t even opened yet, is apparently getting all kinds of disturbing reactions on publicity stops – including a 7-year-old girl asking him to bite her. E! Online reports:

Still, just last week the 22-year-old British actor was at an Apple store in New York City when a 7-year-old girl asked to take a photo with him. No big deal, right?
“But then she went really quiet and she was like, ‘Can you bite me?’ ” Pattinson told me with a somewhat nervous laugh yesterday in a Beverly Wilshire Hotel room, where he’d been holed up doing press all weekend. “It wasn’t a joke…I looked at her and thought, ‘Do you know what you’re saying?’ There are these kinds of sexual thoughts that come out of people that they don’t even know are sexual.”

And just yesterday Robert’s fans caused a riot at the Stonestown Galleria in San Francisco, according to TMZ:

The crowd — nearly 10 times larger than event officials prepared for — mutated into a mob scene when a push to get into the mall got so wild, that several kids fell under the crush. One girl reportedly broke her nose and another fainted.
No arrests were made and the event was canceled for obvious reasons.

Jesus, this guy’s like Tickle Me Elmo for English majors. Now you see why it’s never a good idea to let your children read – except for this site. I’ll learn them stuff.

Photos: WENN

  1. These are the types of events where you can score at will and make a clean getaway.

  2. smoof

    this is going to be a horrible movie

  3. sbasb

    Dirty fag has sand in his K-Y . . .

  4. smoof

    this is going to be a horrible movie

  5. Jen

    He can bite me anytime, and he wouldn’t have to worry about child molestation charges.

  6. veggi

    I feel bad for the girl with the black hair. She’s trying to be positive but clearly she doesn’t like the taste of his semen.

  7. Alex

    I fucking hate Twilight.

  8. evainbaby

    Im 21 an I have no idea who this is and I do not find him remotely attractive…. Am I getting old ?? Is 21 the new age where people are “out of it” now? Cos i remember being at least 16 before thnking God my mums so old, is this what 7 year olds are thinking of me now? I have no idea whats going on!!!

  9. The bubble gum hussies these days swooning over circus acts…they are such embarrassments, get some self esteem…

  10. He looks like a younger, gayer Quentin Tarantino.

  11. Chauncey Gardner

    This little slit-eyed punk is being touted as the new big thing. I can’t see it. And, I can’t wait to see TWILIGHT become the critical dud that it is destined to be. Maybe teen girls love it, but I don’t know anybody who gives a shit about these books. I’d never even heard of them until Entertainment Weekly started hyping the film and comparing its potential to HARRY POTTER, which is ridiculous. And, weren’t they written by a Mormon? How good could vampire books by a Mormon actually be?

  12. Elmo

    as far as the grossss kids from Potter go, he’s the best looking one
    he’s not really good looking, but still

  13. kitty

    ya i don’t think he’s attractive at all….he looks like he’s trying too hard to look mysterious and sexy, but he’s getting it all wrong…it’s more like creepy and stoned

  14. Uncle Eccoli

    WTF? Just another flat-faced goon…

  15. Cindy

    He looks like he enjoys anal sex as much as all those guys commenting in the last story.

  16. fancy

    First off Nothing sexual should be inferred from a 7 year old asking to be bitten – my 3 year old niece loves it when we pretend to bite her toes. Thinking a 7 year old is implying something sexual is kinda gross.

    And speaking of gross – I really don’t get it – this dude is just Not Hot. He looks like he needs a shower. He’s also almost cross-eyed and has this permanent stoned smug look on his mouth, like he’s a condescending conceited ass. I hope his show bombs.

    anyway pirates are so much cooler than vampires. this whole vampire trend is so emo gay

  17. Sport

    Jesus, great casting – the dude LOOKS like a vampire.

    Dont they have sunlight in jolly ol England? Fucking weird looking bloke.

  18. VEGGI

    “Hmmm, lets see. I’m going to lower my head and hold my lips like a duck. yeeeeah, I’ve got it!! Thats it!! Fucking seeeexxxxxxyyyyyyyyyyyyy! raaarrrrahhhh!!”

    What a douche..

    Oh, and to my troll @ 6. Thats horse pussy. Use your own name fucktard..

  19. AmericasLeastWanted

    Wasn’t his picture on the police dept’s registered pedophile list ?

  20. pete

    I bet his jewish agent is named Hymen.

  21. veggi

    Upon further investigation, I see we can shorten his name to Bob Pat..

    Children, this is no way to go through life..

  22. Rainday

    He is on minute 12 of his 15 minutes

  23. havoc




  24. Kahlee

    10 out of 12 months a year, no, we don’t have sunshine. Do you realise how far north we are here?

  25. Guy


    We don’t have sunlight, it’s true. What you would call white trash/wiggers we call ‘chavs’ here and they love the fake sun tan.

  26. nope

    Children are sexual except that their sexuality is immature, still developing, and lacks initiative due to the lack of sexual hormones. We as a society are just too uncomfortable to admit it. That’s why children touch themselves without really understanding why they’re doing it.

    Wrong. With all the madness that’s going on, I’m pretty sure that the other 3 books in the series will be made into movies. Plus, I’m a 25 year old female and I’d sleep with him so it’s not just the teeny bopper population that finds him attractive.

  27. Chauncey Gardner


    Everybody knows there’s no such thing as a mature 25-year-old female.

  28. Ok, I love Twilight but HE IS NOT A VAMPIRE nor is he EDWARD. And who knew 7 year olds could read? I guess they’re teaching them younger and younger these days…

  29. chewgees

    Who is this turd?

  30. ummm...yeah

    That fatherfucking fag looks nasty as shit!



  32. rabidglow

    Don’t worry, RPattz…. Twatlight loves you, and we’re marginally of age.

  33. whatever

    i think he is fucking hot! incredibly good looking, but something about him beyond that is really, really sexy.

  34. angierox

    id let him do me in da butt

  35. -M-

    I don’t know who he is, but he’s got a nice jaw.

  36. twatdidusay


  37. nope


    I never said I was mature. Maybe you should learn to do a “close reading” of a sentence before you post something here.

  38. nope


    I never said 25 year old females were mature. Maybe you should learn to do a “close reading” of a sentence before you post something here.

  39. Pepper

    see, i think he is VERY good looking. he is not “hot” but i don’t like “hot” guys. too generic. give me a guy with eyes, or a nice nose (think Adrian Brody) give me pale skin and green eyes, dark hair and lanky limbs. save your GQ models for the typical skanky white girl and give me a guy who san have scruff and a goofy hat and still have confidence and fire in his eyes.

    and Twilight kicks ass, so StFU.

  40. yleine

    He was said to be found at a millionaire & celebrity dating club ^^^^^^MillionaireLoving. C O M^^ ^^^^ not long before, and he was hot there.Quite a few girls and ladies winked to him.

  41. hobopattz/kbitch

    I’d google his nudes.
    Just saying.

  42. mafme

    He’s got that douche face look nailed.

  43. 1moreidiotintheworld

    With any luck, when his movie tanks, he will slip back to whatever obscure hole he crawled out of.

  44. Rachael

    He needs to be deloused and dipped for fleas!


  45. Nikkyxo

    This movie is going to be HUGE, just watch.
    he’s kind of ugly…he’s lucky he was cast as Edward or people would be swooning over him.
    but its kind of hard not to x_x

  46. Nikkyxo

    This movie is going to be HUGE, just watch.
    he’s kind of ugly…he’s lucky he was cast as Edward or people wouldn’t be swooning over him.
    but its kind of hard not to x_x

  47. Malffy Hernandes

    i’m a brit and i’m totally in love with him….love me some younger guys.

  48. Jillers

    No English Major would be caught dead reading Twilight. I tried reading it once: I felt like my brain would explode from the sheer amounts of offal that are in those books.

  49. moron

    48 is totally an English major since she spells “offal” so awfully. Btw, Jillers, your argument breaks down as soon as one English major decides to like the book. Maybe you should consider switching majors since your ability to argue logically sucks.

  50. duh

    This guy is so fucking ugly. I don’t get it.

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