Robert Pattinson will NOT be your Spider-man

When word of a Spider-man reboot hit on Monday, an old April Fool’s joke about Robert Pattinson taking over for Tobey Maguire almost instantly resurfaced because, if you even mention the word Twilight, no less than 100,000 women float to your site on a wave of vaginal wetness. Unfortunately for them there’s absolutely no truth to the rumor. Gossip Cop reports:

Yes, there will now be a new Spider-Man, but Robert Pattinson is NOT set to take the part.
Pattinson is committed to a busy upcoming slate that includes Bel Ami, Unbound Captives, and a potential Breaking Dawn production. He’s been wrongly linked to projects ranging from X-Men to Yellow Submarine. The Spidey rumor is no more real.
We’ve spoken with sources close to the studio, which now needs to devise a new identity for the franchise, a new timetable, and a new script. Casting is not yet on the radar.

At this point, I’d like Sony to know I’d be perfect for the role of Peter Parker for several reasons: I’m thin, I wear a skin-tight “crime-fighting outfit” under my clothes everyday, I fling goo (Ladies?) and I hang out at high school proms a lot so I know how to speak like today’s youth. Homey.

Photos: Splash News