For those of you who valued your eyes, faces and brainial region by avoiding the MTV Movie Awards, you missed watching those perpetually-stoned Twilight kids dominate the entire event. The pinnacle was Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart accepting the Best Kiss Award and then almost kissing – just like in the movie!. Oh, Edward!
On that note, these are now your most beautiful people, America, as dictated by 15-year-old girls with Internet access. At this time, I suggest you prepare yourself for when the terrorists completely dominate our country by dressing up like sensitive vampires who won’t even dry hump you. It’ll be that easy.