Robert Pattinson & Kristen Steweart prove Twilight owns our entire f-cking universe

June 1st, 2009 // 108 Comments

For those of you who valued your eyes, faces and brainial region by avoiding the MTV Movie Awards, you missed watching those perpetually-stoned Twilight kids dominate the entire event. The pinnacle was Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart accepting the Best Kiss Award and then almost kissing – just like in the movie!. Oh, Edward!

On that note, these are now your most beautiful people, America, as dictated by 15-year-old girls with Internet access. At this time, I suggest you prepare yourself for when the terrorists completely dominate our country by dressing up like sensitive vampires who won’t even dry hump you. It’ll be that easy.

Photos: Getty

  1. sirbutts

    They are both adorable, I could just pinch their cute cheeks! And then I’d love to smoke a joint with them afterwards.

  2. mandy

    LMAO….you are hilarious. First of all, Yes i do love Twilight, that fact has been stated and yes i have commented quite a bit and you seem to be doing the same, so don’t judge me. And speaking of judging…….I am sorry that you think that all of the twilight fans are fat chicks that wear Twilight tee shirts. You are a funny “dude”. You only wish that you had 5 million chicks w/your face on their body. Fat or not……your jealousy stems from issues of feeling unwanted and unloved as a child, maybe you still are a child. I never said that not being a Twilight fan is a character flaw. I do however believe that if you feel like only fat chicks are into the movie or books that you are the one w/the character flaw. You are being very judgmental and honestly rude. I feel like you are trying to pick a fight w/me and yet you don’t even know me. I too am just stating my opinion and yet you are the one who keeps responding to me. You are clearly offended by my opinion and so therefore I do apologize if you feel like i put you in some of kind of category. I am however not afraid to tell you that I am 34 years old. I have two gorgeous children ages 5 and 9, have been in a very happy and committed marriage for 14 years and I am 5 feet 6.5 inches, 115 lbs and have brown curly hair. I do not in fact own a twilight Tee shirt but i do however own the twilight series and the movie. I also happen to think that the Star Trek movie looks like a great movie and i do like to watch a documentary film every now and again. Don’t know about foreign films though. And by the way, yes the word of the day is PHENOMENON!

  3. john golby

    What a pair of gimps – they both look to be made entirely out of plastic.Spending anytime with them would be a nightmare.

  4. Stuey

    I do not want fame or my face on tee shirts or notoriety. My claim to fame will be that I raised my kid to be a decent person and I was a decent person as I was raised IN my loving childhood from both of my parents that I STILL have a great relationship with.

    You missed my point of making assumptions about me let me make them about you.

    There is not one ounce of jealousy in my entire body over anything much less a book or a movie or people being a fan of that book. I have a person in my family that is well known and I wouldn’t want that potato sack of burdens for anything. Cracks me up that you want only people who like the movie to comment and when they don’t you leave multiple posts. Then tell the people who respond that they are obsessed and now jealous since I have added myself to the mix. I gave my opinions and got a novel from you, 2 now.

    Oh and thanks for your stats by the way. Another bit of useless info that doesn’t make a difference.

  5. mandy

    Still, LMAO. Surely, i am finished w/you. Not because you win b/c if that’s what gets you thru the day. Good for you. And talk about unless information, good for you that you have family that are well known. I needed to know and care about that as well. Seems as though you are trying to make a name for yourself.

    I don’t dis anyone w/an opinion that differs from mine. If you have an opinion, good, b/c LORD knows this is a free country with FREEDOM OF SPEECH! I just happened to comment on something and you think that i only comment on opinions that differ from mine. As a matter of fact, i do not. I believe that you are entitled to your opinion and to get involved in a good clean “discussion” makes for a fun times, as is this. You clearly are offended by my responses and that is why you keep commenting. I for one could give a crap of who you are and who you know. I am not the only one who has left comments that do not agree w/others. You on the other hand seem to be mislead by the fact that while i do enjoy a nice “heated debate” every now and then, this one has clearly gotten to a level that I now longer want to take part in. AGAIN, not b/c i think you are right or wrong but just b/c i am not going to have you keep judging me b/c of my opinions. You talk about fat chicks being the only ones who like Twilight and I am the one who has character flaws.

    Wait for the next novel in the future. I am sure you will be the first to comment.

  6. junobetty

    I want Stuey and Mandy to kiss and make up!

  7. mandy

    MUAHH!!!! Just for you Stuey. Thanks Junobetty. PEACE OUT!

  8. Richard McBeef

    Mandy – Go fuck yourself. Nobody gives a flying shit that you successfully reproduced or can use the internet to lie about your weight. Women that find a way to incorporate their weight and cup size into a post at a celeb bashing site are certainly vain and most likely fat. nobody fucking cares if someone is being judgemental or rude. it’s the internet, bitch. People also don’t give a shit that you get your library books in the same section as your kids or that you steal pictures of this pattinson fellow out of your daughter’s tiger beat for masturbatory fodder. Keep the novel writing at home because no one here gives a shit.

    Stuey – you are slightly less annoying. you can still fuck off though.

  9. junobetty

    Aaaw mandy, you’re a doll!

  10. Stuey

    HAHA, I LOVE the fact that you throw the assumptions at me 1st and comments back to me 1st yet it is me who is damaged goods.

    I only gave you tastes of your own medicines and now I am jealous, was raised in an unloving home, I am trying to make a name for myself. These are lofty accusations coming from someone who said those things and also keeps telling people they are obsessed yet they are the one yammering about it the most. Yes wait, I know, I TOO am yammering about it because I am jealous lol.

    This is proof that you can’t take an argument. I nearly said I didn’t like it and I was called out for being things I wasn’t and as soon as I do it back to you to prove a point, it is now me who can’t take an argument.

    I could care less about the next novel. I commented the crap wasn’t for me but said if it was your thing then so be it. I got volumes of info from you even about your life after me classifying you as you did me yet I am trying to make a name for myself. LOL

    I do like you Mandy, you are a riot. I mean at least you can spell and use proper grammar so I guess I can’t complain too much since most of the crap on here is loathsome.

    Have a good one

  11. Stuey

    Hey DICK, cause that is your name, you can go take a flying leap, I could give a rats ass what you think jew balls.

  12. Amy

    All of you guys whining about “13 yo girls” do realize that he’s 23. I am also 23. Therego, I would like to have sexual intercourse with him. Newsflash…when someone is hot and in their 20′s everyone wants to fuck them…not just 13 year old girls.

  13. mandy

    It was fun. Thanks for fighting w/me. I had a great time. Good luck w/your future endeavors, seriously.

    WOW, i think we made Richard McBeef mad. Sorry Dick, didn’t mean to offend you love.

  14. mandy

    LMFAO, Okay, seriously Stuey, that was hilarious. I am still laughing. And also, just to prove a point. I agree w/Amy. I would screw him if i were single and given the opportunity. No shame in that.

  15. wtf

    LOL @ 58.
    Also, who the fuck wears converse to a goddamn event?
    You have the money, hire a fucking stylist.
    I read elsewhere that her ankle was hurt, boo fucking hoo. Wear some fucking flats that are at least somewhat classy, not sneakers dammit.


  17. TrannyGranny

    Who the fuck are these tards?

  18. sirbutts

    Oh TrannyGranny, you’ve missed the whole “Twilight phenomenom”? Where have you been? lol, just kidding, I’m sure you have a life.

  19. Stud

    Robert Pattinson looks like HE JUST WOKE UP! He and Kristen look like they came out of a drunken bar and had sex in their parents bedroom.


  20. Jimmy Jim

    i respect guys like rob and zach quinto, they are unconventionally good looking, which really opens doors for other pale unconventionally (ugly) guys out there.

  21. lunchmeat

    God bless Robert and Kristen!

  22. Sensitive Vampire

    Fish that was the funniest ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  23. Danklin

    Kristen Stewart is a useless actress. She doesnt appreciate her fans or anything. She just stands there like a bump on a log and doesnt care about anything. Twilight really needs to be recast.

  24. @58

    of course she is wearing Converse. With a dress, no less. it’s because she’s emo and like all cool and deep, man. She’s making a statement. And that statement is, “I’m a fucking tard wannabe”

  25. Come on

    It’s not really a phenomenon when they purposely made movies based on the popularity of the books. A phenomenon would imply that it was unique or unexpected. They made it because they KNEW it would be popular. That being said, I watched it this weekend against my better judgement and it wasn’t half bad. It’s kind of a fun story.

  26. Supafeech

    I need him in my bed. Nowwwwww

  27. Josh Fredericks


  28. Captain Obvious

    Wow, that Pattinson sure is hot. Just imagine the AMAZING looking guy he’s going home to tonight…

  29. Sil

    Twilight SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKSS, and Pattinson is motherF*ckerrrrrr and the ugliest man of the world. And that girl can blow me, she’s another f*cker

  30. jake

    was she gesturing how small his perenola is?

  31. She could use a stylist. Looks unsanitary.

  32. Gary B

    Hollywood has gone to the fags and emosluts. When was the last time a studio made a REAL MANLY film. Just some ripped guy covered on sweat blowing everything up and shooting commies.

    Sure it is mildy homoerotic but not the full on whiny GAY that is Twilight. It is not good full on gay like Interview with a Vampire but a substandard copy of it. Twilight is like those cheap knock off Star Wars, GI JOE toys or Superhero toys you see at the dirt mall flea markets. With names like “Super Space laser Sword” or “Hero Action Soldier” or Insect action man.

    That is Twilight a cheap bootleg copy of a good vampire film.


    although it must be nice to get famous over night, i wouldnt know…

    just like the rest of you im at home on my computer reading thisss….


  34. Laurie

    #44–I’m in your boat.

    All you tards who think Twilight is anything “epic” need a public school education repeat and sterilization on the way out.

  35. Danklin

    What the fuck is wrong with Sandra Bullock?? She pretty much molested Kristen Stewart, which i’d pay to see, but damn, calm down Sandra, you’re a grown woman. Find someone 20 years older.

  36. janie118

    I don´t think he is sexy with that strange face sharp teeth psychotic eyes and giant eyebrows..but he is ok for a vampire, right? it´s just his role of Edward that makes him attractive

  37. everyone just likes twilight for the fact that edward is the perfect definition of a romantic boyfriend and it shows such an appealing perspective of love. and THEN, stephenie made him “beautiful”. so i can see why everyone’s like “omg! robert pattinson!”. robert looks so much more attractive now because of the extra reinforcement of his character.

    i agree with that person who said “i wonder what it would be like if johnny depp played edward” [or something like that]. seriously, find any sorta rugged young looking man to play edward and BAM! he’ll be the next sensation, which is what’s happening now.

    i’m really liking kristen. she’s so down to earth about who she is in the industry and how she’s not planning to change that because it’s hollywood or anything. <3 the converse. and despite everyone else, i really like her dress.

  38. Darth

    I even don’t know what’s all about but lemme guess,it’s about lots of kissing?

  39. Gando

    I bet they’re a real couple,cough,cough.

  40. Stuey and Mandy are the same person… he’s quite angry with himself now….

  41. Where's Darkwing Duck?

    Phew! I love these stories. Thanks girls for a good time. I hope all of your boyfriends watch you sleep, secretly follow you, contemplate eating you, tell you what to do and have you “obey” them & ban you from seeing your friends. I also hope if he ever leaves, you will kill yourself & he’ll do the same. Twilight, the best thing to happen to retarded women ever.

  42. gotmilk?

    not having seen the movie or read the book, i’d pretty much do him. i couldn’t care less if he smells either.

  43. macweenie

    Those Geico cavemen are everywhere! Now they are doing vampire flicks?

  44. Is anyone else concerned that hoards of pre-teen girls fancy what can only be described as a half dead looking, 40 year old, pedophile? I mean I know he’s not any of those, but he looks like a pedo. It’s so sooo creepy to me.
    When I look at him, I almost see bushes around his head as if he’s in one, lurking..

  45. devilsrain

    The real miracle here is how hot Kristen is when shes done up, and how incredibly plain she is without makeup.

  46. Meggy

    Wow. She’s super high.

  47. OMG I love them! I am determined to find Mr Pattinson in London…. :)

    I have to agree about the comment about Kristen’s makeup. She’s really pretty when she’s done up, but sometimes looks very ordinary. Perfect for the character though

  48. Oh dear.

    Lol at all the guys hatin’ on Robert Pattinson… But are quick to boner over silicone/botox/surgery-inflated women. Males make me laugh.

  49. Oh dear

    and devilsrain, she isn’t plain. Believe it or not, most women DO look plain when not wearing make-up. Please don’t be dumb and let Hollywood fool you.

  50. Kwnnab

    #92 I’m with you, hell yeah I’d do him no matter whattt shes sooo hot.. and that kristen bitch, as much as i hate to admit it, she iss reallyyyy reallyy pretty, when they fix her up, and naturally too, i kinda like that shes awkward and hig all the time, and not ur typical lauren conrad bitch, if she wants to dress fucked up its her problem, i think its whateever if she doesnt five a flying fuck they kinda do look unclean but whatever, i just hate her soooo muchhhhhh shes so lucky she gets to be with him all the time and are fucking also… but i love to hate them they do make a cute couple or i dunno just the way the both dont give a fuck and are always high, id be in heaven if was always high, but then again what i really dont like about her is that she does seem to not give e fuck about everything even though thats alright its not cool to no give a fuck about ur fans or be mean and think ur superior or whatnot but whatever i dont know her so i dont give a shit

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