And Catherine Hardwicke just signed Kristen Stewart’s death warrant. In a new interview with Time, the Twilight director confirms Kristen and Robert Pattinson’s hand-holding heard ’round the world most likely ended in pale sex that night:
By all accounts, the chemistry between the two leads was intense, maybe too intense. “After I cast him, I told Rob, Don’t even think about having a romance with her,” Hardwicke says. “She’s under 18. You will be arrested.” It was the beginning of the real-life are-they-aren’t-they, did-they-didn’t-they speculation that is now an ongoing subplot of the Twilight story. “I didn’t have a camera in the hotel room. I cannot say,” Hardwicke says. “But in terms of what Kristen told me directly, it didn’t happen on the first movie. Nothing crossed the line while on the first film. I think it took a long time for Kristen to realize, O.K., I’ve got to give this a go and really try to be with this person.”
It’s a good thing I wasn’t directing this movie because if Rob Pattinson asked me if he could bang an underage Kristen Stewart, I’d not only say “yes” but offer to be his lookout. Mostly so I could turn him into the police and end this goddamn shrieking insanity before it even started. But, hey, we can’t all be epic saviors of humanity.