Robert Pattinson just caused a lot of suicides

February 15th, 2010 // 66 Comments

Robert Pattinson appears in the 10th Anniversary Issue of Details and apparently he wasn’t a big fan of the photo shoot they put him through. What follows next is exactly what you want your most high-profile romantic male lead of the moment to never say out loud:

I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vaginas. But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot , so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours…Thank God I was hungover.”

If Hot Topic doesn’t sell razor blades, now would be a good time to start. (You can put Taylor Lautner’s face on them.)

Photos: Details
superficial

  1. Cate

    He prefers dick, is this any surprise?

    :)

  2. It’s no surprise at all. If you were constantly bombarded with 10-14 year old girls and their homely ass soccer moms, you’d be gay as a running moose, too. Hell, I would make for the nearest gay bar in my YMCA best.

  3. elka

    Wait, is that a quote?! Did he actually SAY that??? Hahahahhaa wow

  4. Rough in ice

    hahaha!

    He also pitch this joke to Details…

    RP: Do you know why they call Twat, a “Twat?
    Details: no Robert what?
    RP: because when you kick it (shaved/barefoot) that’s the noise you’ll hear…Try it!

  5. test

    Hah!
    I guess that’s the ultimate proof of divine justice

  6. I blew a load all over his photos in Details and it was good.

    I will however reiterate that I am not gay and have never had another mans penis in my ass.

    Later,

    Mitch

  7. Stating the Obvious

    It’s an old British joke.
    “DOCTOR DOCTOR, I think I’m allergic to vaginas!!”
    “Why do you think that sir?”
    “Because every time I see one I swell up.”

    God. I love that man.

  8. Molly

    Joke. Sarcasm. Read it again. Repeat.

  9. I've got a crush on the GW

    @7 Valid point if he didn’t preface it with “I really HATE vaginas.” Completely different meaning then.

  10. black jesus

    divine justice ON THE REAL

    fuckin hilarious

    hey kid, get ready for offers like “Milk on the Rosebud” and “Vampires for Cock”

  11. I've got a crush on the GW

    Also, if I was the wet dream of 50 bajillion 13 year olds, I’d want them to think I was gay too to get them the hell away from me.

  12. Heroiny

    If Hot Topic doesn’t sell razor blades, now would be a good time to start. (You can put Taylor Lautner’s face on them.)

    **That is the funniest thing you’ve written in a year, Fish.

  13. Whippet

    Here is a universal message to Leonardo DiCaprio, Shia Labeouf and this guy.

    Some guys can grow beards, some can’t.

    You are in the “not” group. You look like idiots with that pretend-fuzz on your face.
    SHAVE.

    Sheesh.

  14. Heidi Montag would be a better candidate for an article entitled “The Remasculation of the American Male” than this queen!

  15. Weird

    Hm…that was a weird quote and kind of offensive. Those nudie model shoots that have so recently been a trend have been offending women and now it turns out they’re offending the very ‘heartthrobs’ whose careers they’re supposed to bolster. Why not just stop?

  16. gen

    It’s amazing that you guys can’t actually read the whole quote and figure out what he’s talking about. You are all literally just reading the very first sentence. This is why they are all beating us. This is why America is slipping. Not because of the government, but because the citizens are all fucktards like you.

  17. Zee Brat

    Might want to put up the picture that actually has something to do with the quote.

  18. CHHHHHH

    FAIL SUPERFICIAL.

  19. Bigo

    I just farted!! What a relief! aahh

  20. Skeps

    HAHAHA, man I may not like Twilight, but He’s been funnier and funnier. Robert Pattinson is a fucking bro

  21. reddevil

    Actually it’s a British joke

    A man goes to the doctor.
    Says: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I hate vaginas. I think I am allergic to them.
    Doctor: Why do you think that sir?
    Man: Because every time I am near them, I get terribly swollen and need to rub.

    He was clearly joking, those with a sense of humour get it, dimwits take it out of context and misinterpret it, I see there are quite a few of those here…

  22. dude

    Y’know who’s eating this up? Pattinson’s agent and publicist. Free publicity on the blogs for a day

  23. COCK LUVA

    COCK!!!!!

  24. Yikes

    What a stupid picture anyway. I think it’s hilarious that these magazines try to be artsy and edgy, but still end up falling back on gratuitous nudity like any other run of the mill men’s magazine.

  25. louise flockhart

    What a gimp.

  26. John

    While people are right it was a joke, he completely botched the delivery. Now he’ll have to suffer the result. (Opening with “I hate vaginas” instead of simply keeping it to “I think I’m allergic to vaginas”.)

  27. Covert Koala

    Honestly, everybody who sees this guy immediately has a gaydar hit. Throw in the fact that he is British and an actor and the jury immediately returns a verdict. I think it’s time these closet homos stop taking hetero acting jobs from hetero actors. Having to ball annoying women is our wheelchair, let us ride it. Having to get ass-banged is your handicap, we’ll let you keep it.

  28. Insatiable Peter

    Blasphemy! Off with his head! Saying you’re allergic to vaginas is like saying you’re allergic to the sole purpose of humanity.

  29. Nick

    So he just admitted to being gay? He hates Vaginas.. ? That’s weird.

  30. Des

    LOL at people. You guys are so dumb. I did not know about the British joke and I still knew he was joking. You don’t have to be british to get it. You have to NOT BE RETARDED.

  31. Maddy

    There you have it….with his own mouth. They should have paired him with Taylor Lautner instead of K Stew. I knew he was gay.

  32. the ultimate font of knowledge

    hahahah you dumbfuck assholes looking for “intelligence” on a gossip tabloid site

    fucking get real you morons… classic. YOU are the stupid ones

  33. is he gay or something?

  34. Mikka

    aajajajajajajajajajajajaja!!

    so what is the matter .. i mean we all know that already robbie pat…

  35. Mikka

    anyway i like the pic with the sea as background

  36. Adderall makes me gay!

    MWA HAA HAA HAA, THOSE FOOOOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    THEY LET ME BACK IN, THEY WILL NEVER LEARN.
    HA HA. I AND MY MINIONS SHALL RULE THIS SITE
    WITH TYRANNY AND STRIKE DOWN ALL WHO GET
    IN OUR WAY. COME MY LITTLE SWEETIES AND LET
    US FEAST UPON THE SOULS OF THE DAMNED WHO
    DARE TO ENTER THIS SITE!!!! AHH HAA HAA HAA HAA

    ‘Lightning & thunder boom, as the screech of bats and
    the flapping of their wings is heard’ ‘And then ……..

  37. dadgummit

    It’s a joke you dumbasses.

  38. champ

    this douchebag still has a better chance than you do of fucking your girlfriend or wife tonight

    my god the power of cinema and emo vampires. aint it a glorious thing

  39. Hi Guy’s,
    It’s amazing that you guys can’t actually read the whole quote and figure out what he’s talking about

  40. Insatiable Peter

    Who cares if it was a joke. The dude sucks. Feeling impressed with yourself via a gossip site …well you have to do it somewhere, I suppose.

  41. Tanya

    He was making a joke out of it, its fine if he is uncomfortable, at least he is not like some guys who take advantage, he is amazing and beautiful – I love you Robert xx

  42. Poo Poo

    Yea! Retarded is making a comeback .

    “The Remasculation of the American Male” The humor in the title alone is going to have me chuckling for weeks.

  43. donkeysword

    I’m confused, the issue is “the remasculation of the American man”, is that supposed to be implying that he’s masuline? I’m gonna have to call bullshit on that.

  44. Meh

    All the people in this shoot look malnourished.

  45. gigi

    I just don’t understand the interest…… every time I see this f*er he looks like he’s missing a chromosome…. now he’s trying to be shocking – ooooooh! feh….

  46. Tiffany Rossbach

    I totally get this !!!! He’s saying that because of his allergic reaction to vaginas (Swelling aka bonor city) he was glad he was hungover or he would have been poking everyones eyes out with his cock. I would have liked to been there. MMMMMMMM. ***Kisses Rob, I LUUUV u !!**** (oh I’m fanning myself) pheww.

  47. Tiffany Rossbach

    OH you dears !!!! He meant with his allergic reaction to vagina’s AKA Swelling of his junk, he was glad he was hungover so he wasn’t poking everyones eyes out with his cock the entrie time. (Oh how I enjoy picturing this) mmmmmmmmmm. I luv u Rob !!!

  48. Linsey

    lmao..

    me (12:29:00 PM) LOLZ
    me: (12:29:03 PM) robert pattinson
    me: (12:29:07 PM) said he hates vaginas
    my friend whos a girl and obsessed with him: (12:29:12 PM) WHAT!!!
    me (12:29:14 PM) LOL

  49. This dude & Jesus Luz could really benefit from a chin implant.

  50. crystal

    It was a joke people…read the full article and then you will understand!!! OMG don’t be so gullible!!

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