Robert Pattinson is ready to brood for you now

By: The Superficial / November 17, 2009

Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and that kid Summit Entertainment wants you to believe is banging Taylor Swift worked the crowdfor the LA premiere of The Twilight Saga: New Moon last night. Will Edward’s skin sparkle for Bella because that somehow represents heterosexual love or will Jacob the wolf get some heavy petting? That’s right, I went there. But only to prove a point that anyone can write Young Adult novels:

Meet Curtis the non-demanding zombie. He’s content with just dry-humping and cuddling, but will his hunger for brains overcome his love for Stella, a shy young girl who would never amount to anything unless she finds a husband to impregnate her? Find out in 28 Mormons Later Infected Lust: Necking Just got a Whole Lot More BRAINY.

Photos: Getty, WireImage