Robert Pattinson got a haircut (STOP THE PRESS!)
In a sad commentary on society as a whole, probably the most pervasive news item today has to be Twilight star Robert Pattinson’s new haircut. Here he is, obviously in character as any grunge guitar player from 1992 – 1996, no longer looking like he just rolled out of bed then had two bong hits for breakfast. Has Robert cursed the Twilight franchise forever? Will teenage girls still try to get pregnant so he can bite their babies? Tune in next week for a special episode of The Superficial Writer Tries to Give a Shit but Gives Up and Makes a Sandwich. Now with more Mustard!