Robert Pattinson attends the premiere of that movie your little sister won’t stop shrieking about

Robert Pattinson walked the red carpet last night for the world premiere of Twilight where he was reportedly deafened by 50 bajillion screaming teens who thought it’d be cool to scratch their necks all up to simulate a vampire bite. Ha ha. That’s our future, folks. I’m drowning myself in the tub. Us Magazine reports:

“They all just scream at me and now it just kind of feel like my job,” said Pattinson, who joked with MTV News that he’d gone “completely deaf” at the premiere.
Just the other day, Pattinson realized, “there were some girls who had scratched … the side of their necks so [they were] freshly bleeding when they came up to get a signature.
“They were like, ‘We did this for you.’ I didn’t know what to say. ‘Um, thanks guys?'”

Jesus, whatever happened to good ol’ fashioned getting high in your parents basement? If I ever had a daughter and she did something like this, I’d tell her she’s adopted. Of course, later on, I’d have to buy her a pony so she doesn’t stab me in my sleep. See? This parenting thing’s not so tough.

Photos: WENN