Robert Pattinson attends the premiere of that movie your little sister won’t stop shrieking about

November 18th, 2008 // 75 Comments

Robert Pattinson walked the red carpet last night for the world premiere of Twilight where he was reportedly deafened by 50 bajillion screaming teens who thought it’d be cool to scratch their necks all up to simulate a vampire bite. Ha ha. That’s our future, folks. I’m drowning myself in the tub. Us Magazine reports:

“They all just scream at me and now it just kind of feel like my job,” said Pattinson, who joked with MTV News that he’d gone “completely deaf” at the premiere.
Just the other day, Pattinson realized, “there were some girls who had scratched … the side of their necks so [they were] freshly bleeding when they came up to get a signature.
“They were like, ‘We did this for you.’ I didn’t know what to say. ‘Um, thanks guys?’”

Jesus, whatever happened to good ol’ fashioned getting high in your parents basement? If I ever had a daughter and she did something like this, I’d tell her she’s adopted. Of course, later on, I’d have to buy her a pony so she doesn’t stab me in my sleep. See? This parenting thing’s not so tough.

Photos: WENN
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  1. Garibaldi

    I think he is an actual vampire. The guy looks ugly and dorky if you’re older, but he strikes some kind of chord in the generation between ages 8-18, the ones who were weaned on Harry Potter and are now discovering their genitalia. He’s like a gateway drug to the sleazebags these girls will be sleeping with tomorrow.

    America now has Satan-worshipping masses of youths and no one even raises an eyebrow. I see all these girls wearing buttons that say “I want Edward to bite me.” Do parents even know what that means? It means to be seduced by some evil bastard who takes your soul. Crazy.

  2. angierox

    Good gawd.. id let him put it in my pooper too

  3. ahhghhh

    Love Mr. Pattinson! Twilight is made of awesome and rocks the house… that is all.

  4. Zoltan

    Dude’s got massive-ass eyebrows

  5. gross…who is this greasy looking tween trying to act all manly. I hate 2-day old perspiration. Stringy, pasty and spongy with a beer gut in never a good look.

  6. Doggy Style

    I’ll be the first to say it. I’ll take a shit on this guys mouth and use his tongue as the toilet paper, yes that’s right. I want to shit on you.

  7. yourmom

    why hasnt he showered in like a month??

    and i gotta agree with #38 i feel the vibe too.

  8. friendlyfires

    These kids wanna’ play vampire? Cuil!
    I’ll play Van Heflin – Winona Ryder can be Buffy – Christina Ricci can play Katrina Van Tassel. It’s okay officer, I’m not an actor, this is for real stand back, there will blood – YAARRGH! Got ‘im! GINCH-CHAR-YAH! Nice one , Buffy! Okay – I’m finshed …!

  9. Jeezy

    This fucker looks like a major douche! Who the hell is he and what do 12 year old girls see in him?

  10. Meh

    I love twilight. But not just for the movie– try reading the books and then maybe you’ll understand the hype about the movie.

    The reason that he gets so much attention (aside from being good looking) is because his character in the movie/book is ridiculously romantic and is something a lot of girls want to experience.

    But regardless, I saw the movie last night- so good. And yes. He is SO hot.

  11. A Vampire?!!?

    What a horrible casting call. Vampires should be thin, gaunt and lithe looking.
    This guy looks like Frankenstein right out of the box, why mess with that kind of perfection,..Big square head, Neaderthall brow, slow half witted constantly brain damaged expression on his face. This guy is as “made for” Frankenstein as Keanu was for “Ted”

    Wake up hollywood, quit looking your gift horses in the mouth.

  12. it sucks

    Yeah, 51 what is up with this freaky vampire obsession? When images of soul-sucking agents of evil are swooned over and admired- it’s proof of sick, sick world.

    And this guy is not hot. He looks like an ignorant asshole. But I’m not 15.

  13. Alouqua

    First off his not a pretty boy….My husband is a male supermodel compared to this guy.He looks average at best, the kind of guy I could easily get if I was single and I’m not that hot either. I know some 12 year old girls will go that “I’m just jealous” or “I wish he was my boyfriend” but they would be wrong in both cases.
    Also why is everyone so excited about Twilight? The movie trailer looks like two teenages hanging out in a damp looking forest most of the movie declaring there love…YAY!!! The special effects look like they been borrowed from a Smallville episode.

  14. Um, twilight is awesome!!!!!!!!!! You people are just like dumb people and don’t know what is cooool!!! I would love this guy to kiss my down there, french it even. He is hot because he is EDWARD!!! and in the book Edward is hot. Read it! It says he is hot in the book and this guy plays the guy in the book so he is HOT!!! If you can’t understand that it’s because you’re ugly and don’t know great literature. In the book Edward breaks into Bella’s house and watches her sleep before they’ve even met and debates killing her, but doesn’t. IT IS SOOOO ROMANTIC!!!!! When Bella finds out, she isn’t mad, she’s flattered. I would be too. I wish I could be with Edward and he could hold me against his cold skin and tell me what to do and who I could be friends with and laugh at me because I’m dumb. Just like the book!! Just like my Dad….

    But in real life I’d definitely want more ass-play, like with my Dad…

  15. anonymous

    Fan girls tend to get out of hand. What sent them into a frenzy was the interesting romance between Bella and Edward. However, they shouldn’t have taken such drastic (and very disturbing) measures to appeal to THE ACTOR who played Edward. Their love for Twilight is nothing more than a phase that they will grow out of. I went through the same thing (though I never did something so drastic as what these girls did) with Inuyasha. Don’t let your sexual fantasies get the better of you. It’s only a matter of time before you wonder why you did something so silly.

  16. Erica

    #60. Agreed. I’m going tomorrow afternoon to see it. I love the books. I’m on Breaking Dawn.

  17. Olivia

    TO ALL OF YOU DUMB GIRLS OUT THERE HE IS GAY HE LIKES MEN AND NOT YOU , SO STOP SCREAMING LIKE A DONKEY HAS HIS COCK IN YOUR ASSHOLES ALL OF YOU LOOK STUPID SCREAMING FOR A GAY GUY THAT WILL NEVER TOUCH YOU BECAUSE HE HATES WHAT YOU GOT , HE LIKES STIFFIES AND NOT PIE

  18. Erica

    The movie was nothing compared to the book. ): I mean..it wasn’t horrible, but it just skipped around quite a bit. I still liked it.

  19. Jennifer

    Rob IS incredibly talented. I can’t wait to see what else he can do. And if he were gay, then that’s his business. I honestly don’t think he is, however. I suspect he is just a bit shy, too much of a gentleman to kiss and tell, and doesn’t take his relationships with women lightly. (Remember that he has two older sisters who probably trained him well.) He is an ACTOR who plays the part of artist Dali, who had a less than “traditional” relationship with writer Lorca. Don’t get the actor confused with the character he is portraying. As far as his looks — What can I say? He makes me wish I was fifteen years younger, not married and British. While screaming teenagers want him to bite them. I just want to rub my cheek against the stubble on his and get a closer look in to his mesmerizing green eyes. The poor guy needs some breathing room away from us, his fans.

  20. anonymous

    i have not one idea wat u ppl are talking about. and frankly i dont care i thinks he is awesome and 12 yr olds do too so get over it hes kool u aint yall just jelous peace out

  21. ahhhh

    I’ve read Twilight and I still don’t understand the hype.
    Both the book and the movie was crap

    And yes I have read the other books, too.

    They were badly written.

    If Twilight was a person I’d punch it in the face.
    Also Edward Cullen was a clingy, possessive bitch who was intrigued by a plain whiny retard.

    #64- Twilight is not good literature and I really hope nobody ever seriously considers it good literature. Stephenie Meyer printed her Bachelor’s in English off the interwebs

    And I am a teenage girl.

  22. just let him be robert,,,in peace,,,he really sings well to,,,sounds a little like a young dylan.he could be deaf, dumb, and blind,,,most women of the world would still love him, including me,,i,m addicted to him,,,and i,m 46

  23. realistic

    men fantasize about nurses, older ladies, pamela anderson, u name it

    its only natural we fantasize about the most perfect being, vampire….and since its a fantasy, we might as well picture him as the movies wants us to–robert…rawr.

  24. kristen stewart is not that pretty if you zoom in she looks okay now but she is wearing a lot makeup.she ugly with out makeup and with only a little makeup.

  25. Squeely 12 year old girl

    omfg I luvs robert Patersorb sooooo much,. He es my eyedol!!!1!one!!1! When I grow up I want to have his butt babies! Why do I say butt babies?!?! BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE A RAPIST! I wuv rapists ^_^. I want him to rape me and bite me like in the movies because it’s just SO UNORDINARY! I WANT TO STAND OUT A DATE MEN WHO LOOK LIKE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTERS! I can tell he’s gay too so Jacob could come along too, as long as he don’t steel the spotlight. We all know how Rob wants to kill himself after Jacob takes the spotlight. AND OH, the movies are great because the books are great! Even though Twilight will be forgotten in 10 years and Anne Rices books will still put them in the dirt. But o0h Robert Pattersogner, one day another writer may be crucified like jesus christ for resurrecting the concept of the pussy vampires Stephanie Meyers writes about, and like 10 people including myself and a few other neck stabbers will notice.

    Your truly,
    Stupid teenage bitch with no taste and a stubborn fixation for the mainstream.

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