Robert Pattinson Just Called Me a ‘Nerd’

June 24th, 2010 // 83 Comments

So remember when Kristen Stewart equated her celebrity status with being raped then had to walk that shit back or she’d be replaced with a paper bag? Well, Robert Pattinson does and now he’s decided to wave his sparkly cock in the face of Internet bloggers everywhere for making a mountain out of a rape hill. Via Popeater:

“None of those associations came out and gave a statement [criticizing Kristen] without being called upon by the media first — who were doing it specifically to get hits on their websites,” the actor tells EW. “That whole system of Internet journalists, where no one is called to account, is almost entirely about hate. All these people get away with doing it because they have no responsibility to anyone.”
“All they need is to get a salacious headline and people click on it, because it’s easy. And it’s quite good being part of these ‘Twilight’ films because you have to give so many interviews all the time, you can defend yourself. That’s the only way. All of us stick together, as well. There are so many little nerds behind their computers, on their little blogs.

Hey, first off, I do more than just make up “salacious” headlines. I also post questionably invasive vagina pictures, there’s an art to it. Second, what makes you think you’re better than me? Just because you’re generally considered to be a cordial and humble actor who will never have to argue before a judge that drinking a whole mug of Jager I said was herbal tea constitutes consent? Because my attorney says the settlement won’t be “entirely devastating.” Pfft, actors. Think you know everything.

Photos: Splash News


  1. sparkles

    Eye candy that’s all. Just smile and keep your mouth shut.

  2. Greg

    Boo hoo! Feel sorry for me because I’m famous! Even if I say something so utterly brain dead and people actually call me on my retardation. Boo hoo!

  3. lori

    He’s pasty white and awkward with thick legs and needs to take a shower. He and Kristin Stewart are part of the great uprising of white trash, talentless “stars”.

  4. This guy’s face is all busted looking & will get worse as he ages.
    It must be that British accent that hypnotizes the ladies.
    If I perfect the accent, then get some sparkles at the craft store & sprinkle them all over myself will that act as an aphrodisiac to teenaged girls & lonely housewives?

    • Amy

      You sound fat. And jealous.

      Robert Pattinson is the hottest man alive. I don’t care what all you jealous losers say “waaaahhh, he’s pale! wahhhh, I hear he smells, wahhhh…he’s gayy!” Shut your faces and get over the fact that he’s smoking hot. And who cares what he looks like in 20 years? Do you guys look a the girls Fish posts on here and say, “well, she’s pretty fucking hot, but prob won’t age well. I would not do her. Look at those sharp knees.” Of course not.

      • Sadie

        “Smoking hot”? yeah, OK, right. He looks like he was hit in the face with a frying pan, it’s flat as a board. He’s gotten a bit on the pretentious side with the fame, too bad. I used to think he was rather charming even with the unfortunate flatness that he sports.

      • Of course we do.
        Damn girl….you are unobservant as well as sexually confused.
        Go back to fingering yourself while thinking of your imaginary vampire boyfriend.

      • Matrim

        Hottest man alive? By that statement I can reasonably assume that you have either never seen a man, or ever seen someone alive…

      • gonna have to agrre with matrim lol

      • Hayden

        You know what he looks like in that picture – self-satisfied. It’s like he’s thinking “I’m so much funnier and smarter than you.”

      • Hayden

        He has down-syndrome eyes.

  5. KIKI

    Where to begin? This is just one more slap in the face to the “little people” this fuckhead feels the need to lord over. He does it to his fans, now he is doing it to the bloggers. FUCK OFF AND DIE TWITARD!

  6. Deacon Jones


  7. Horse

    Waahhhh, my name’s Robert Pattinson, waahhhh, my life as a ridiculously overpaid actor / celebrity is sooooo hard. Waahhhh, stop talking about us and just come see our movies and buy our merchandise… waahhhh…

  8. FattyFatty2x4

    Them ther are fightin’ werds, Fish.
    You up for this?
    Go kick his ass!
    I’ll be your cut man.

  9. poopstained panties

    Well, it looks like you all are proving his point perfectly. And I agree with him.

  10. 91waaaaaaaahhh

    Someone call the waaaaaaaahhhh-mbulance!

  11. Gen

    Um… ok… except she DID equate being photographed with rape. It’s not like anyone made anything up. The only reason I’ll put up with him is because he’s beautiful, but that Kristen girl is ugly and bad at acting. I seriously have no idea why so many people liked Adventureland…

    There are tons of beautiful girls that do decent jobs in movies like Rachel McAdams and Natalie Portman. We don’t need to scrape the bottom of the barrel for this indie poseur. God she fucking bugs me…

  12. Jackholeasshat

    Gen, I Gen erally like your posts, but both of these “stars” are equally obnoxious. Just because Pattison is a man doesn;t mean that his telling us to kiss his ass is any more pleasant.

  13. FattyFatty2x4

    I hate how the two stars of this lame franchise smoke.
    These dimwitted, completely programmable 8 to 12 year old fans will start smoking, i promise you that.
    Hopefully they’ll die painfully and very slow.
    Wow, did someone not make it to the toilet in time after eating cheese last nite? I guess.

  14. yespedo

    Wait, there’s no underage crotch-shot here…

    *moves on…*

  15. adonistic

    robert pattinson smells

  16. ZigZagZoey

    What a fabulous way to get people to stop saying (oh excuse me….blogging) shit about you!!!

    Sorry dude ~ Being famous sure as hell aint like it used to be!

  17. maca

    “There are so many little nerds behind their computers, on their little blogs.“”

    wuahahaha LOL ROB

  18. deaddays

    When are people going to finally stop and realize that he looks like Brian Austin Green in the 90210 heydays?

  19. lola

    i like that the superficial writer calls out kristen stewart about her rape comment (which he was totally justified in doing), yet makes offensive jokes about rape (e.g. in this post) all the time. what gives? the misogyny on this site is out of control! even if the rest of the time it’s hilarious

    • Robot

      Maybe it’s because they are both emo gaytards, the movies suck, and this generation is paying the price by thinking it’s cool and having absolutely no taste anymore because he plays a “vampire”

    • Judo Chop

      Because irreverent humor laughs in the face of misogyny. and females. because all females are miss’s that see the gyny doctor. it’s pretty high tech stuff really.

  20. Bunny

    All I want to know is where the hell is that hot ass Jacob?

    • Paris Hilton

      Call me Jacob!? !
      I need a new Hollywood hunk to make me relevent again & relieve the awful itching in my crotch.
      Nothing I (or anyone else) does ever makes it go away. :-(

  21. Wiggle Worm

    He’s right. There is zero accountability online. There is so much misinformation and nonsense it’s enough to make me puke.

    That’s why I think Newspapers and traditional media, while on the decline now, will eventually make a slight rebound before leveling off. Blogging, internet news, etc is obviously here to stay but I think a backlash in regards to culpability is long overdue.

    I’m not talking about this site though. This format is just regurgitating things that have already been reported by other sites and just corraling it all in one place with a funny comment or two. It’s probably the safest of all formats. If anyone ever questioned what was reported, you can always point back at the source site.

    Still there has to be something to keep nonsense in check.

  22. He is sitting like Randel invaded his rear orifice.

  23. joho777
    Commented on this photo:

    Actually, I think he said, “You are a turd.”

    Always read for content, it’s less embarrassing than just blindly repeating (and mis-quoting) what was said.

  24. 00

    have to agree with Rob

  25. Andrew

    I agree with him haha there’s no responsibility on the web these days

  26. Selma

    I am hardly a Twihard (never read the books or saw any of the movies and intend to keep it like that thankewww) but he is right. Not just the blogs (and I think it is more Perez he is aiming at) but sites like the Daily Mail too where people just talk bullshit and are negative about people they have never met. I don’t get it. Ther are far worthier twats than these kids to pounce on and having seen the paps at work in London she did have a point. Not rape but definitly see how the camera in your face under your skirt is incredibly intrusive. So.. gotto agree with him.

  27. Amy

    Good Lord he’s incredibly hot. I must have sex with him.

    • Wonderful. Unbridled female sexual desire is a wonderful thing. It makes the world go round!
      Now take all that hormonal urgency, find a nice guy in the neighborhood & fuck him until one of you begs for mercy.

  28. HLM

    You are a nerd, Fish. But we love you anyway.

    As for celebrities whining about the “press” that they get…Go back to waiting tables if you don’t like the attention. For the love of Pete, you can’t have it both ways. Yes, I do think the paparazzi take it too far sometimes. But if these “starlets” would start wearing panties that actually cover their twats, and learn to stand/walk/get out of cars a little more ladylike, there wouldn’t be a problem. And as for claiming that the advocacy groups wouldn’t have noticed Kristen’s comment if it hadn’t been for the nerds with blogs…That doesn’t make it ok for her to say it.

  29. There is no Roughstitute

    hahaha Looks like someone has got your # Fish!!!!

  30. Robert Pattinson is a racist alcoholic. Fact.

  31. Me

    I do not read your blog because of your headlines. I read it because you are hilarious…. case in point :)

  32. Sugar

    I feel like the only person in the world who does not buy the “romance” between those two people. They both seem gay–especially her. Very butch. It really seems like a marketing strategy for those awful movies. Well, I actually liked the first one but the second was excruciating. Until I see a sex tape of the two with penetration and oral happening i will never believe that they are really together.

  33. afafa

    “Internet [...] is almost entirely about hate.”
    you are way, way wrong, mister.
    the internet is all about porn, and we all know it.

    • ZigZagZoey

      Well, I think it’s all about snarky comments….
      Okay, then there is porn too….

      • homosapiens

        Well, I think it’s also a vast repository for the fruit of human creativity and sociality. Did you ever watch the autotune wolves on youtube? Or learn how to pronounce the name of that damn volcano Eyjafjallajokull? Or crack up at the crap people post on failblog? All that stuff that people put out there just for the fun of it…ahhh, makes me all warm and fuzzy.

  34. Sherry

    I totally agree with what Kristen and Rob say about all you people that make up shit just to get it on the internet. Now you bitches how do you like people cutting you down huh?? Doesn’t feel good does it?? You wasted no time getting a response defending your actions on this!! So why should you be any different than these celebrities! They get asked so many questions that of course something isn’t going to come out right and you bitches hang on every word these people say! Grow UP! Do any of you know Kristen or Rob personally. Of course not but you want to write about them like you do. Come on!!! Kristen meant to say violated! Come on a little kid could have figured that one out! You people are just haters that have nothing better to do just like Rob said! Write positive things or don’t write anything at all. It offends me that you like to slam everyone for what they wear, say, etc. We don’t know what it is like to be a celebrity so you can’t knock what you don’t know about! Especially Kristen. You guys try to pick on everything she says and does and guess what? Do you think she really cares what you NERDS write about her. She is rich, making movies and you don’t ever write the truth about anything so who are you?? She is totally write about what she says about you guys and her hatred for you people and what you do! You people can’t stand her because she speaks the truth! So go ahead on with your hurtful words, etc if it makes you all feel better because at the end of the day, she is going home to her hunk of a man, her millions of dollars and friends that are in the business. She ultimately has the last laugh! I think it is funny that now you NERDS are getting so upset! I think this round goes to Robsten!!!

    • Agnes Peabody

      Who!! is!! Robsten!!! And?? How!!! thefuck old!!! are you!!! Your! Summer? Vacation! is almost! over! Twitard!!!!

    • Wow.
      I think one of the “Twilight” zombie brigade have stumbled into the site. The Pattison bait worked, if that’s what you were gunning for. It’s almost too easy.
      This girl is probably 12. Or it may be a very frustrated 47 yo house frau.
      Look at the name of the site bitch. You were warned.
      Now…..go back to fingering yourself while thinking of your imaginary vampire boyfriend.

    • B

      Sherry, you have to understand that anyone that becomes an actor or singer KNOWS that these things will happen. It is a part of their job, and even though a bunch of them love to complain about the publicity, that is how the make their money. Basically all of those paparazzi pictures you see are pre planned by the celebrity’s agent and they know the photographer’s are going to be there (including the ones where they are fingering the camera or just being douchy). Complaining about people saying bad things about you is like complaining about getting a shitty wage working at Dairy Queen, it’s all part of the job. If they don’t like the fame and the bad rumors, no one is forcing them to act. They can quit and go live wonderful lives off their current millions of dollars. Only they don’t want that, they want more money and more fame, and you know how they get fame? PAPARAZZI AND BLOGGERS! It’s all a part of the game that they are choosing to play. Don’t feel sorry for them. Everything they do is their choice.

  35. LP

    Yeah, he should be the last person talking about making too much frivolous money. He is making millions of dollars for a shitty job done on an equally shitty movie with his shitty girlfriend and her shitty life i still dont under why anyone is interested in. Assholes who’ve been major breaks shouldnt criticize others for wanting the same.

  36. Oilman

    To me, he looks like Michael Buble with bushy eyebrows, sunken cheeks, and a broken nose.

  37. captain america


  38. Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    He really is fugly. Gawddamn!

  39. Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Puffy eyed fugliness.

  40. Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently many females wish to copulate with this fugly chain smoking British twit. A few men want to get in on the action too.
    Bewildering. Makes my head hurt.

  41. Hayden

    I think Robert Patacake’s internet popularity took a nose dive.

  42. anabstraction

    While I think Kristen’s statement was inappropriate [though probably innocent enough] I do agree with Pattinson’s take on Internet bloggers. It’s so easy to tear people apart online because of the total anonymity; he’s right about that. The Internet and celebrity blogs in particular are huge breeding grounds for negativity and condemnation that we would never subject the people in our lives to. And I doubt this will cause him to lose any fans, because the girls who adore him don’t care about his attitude, just his looks.

  43. Shelley

    Robert Pattinson’s got the biggest head I have ever seen on a human being. It looks like a rocketship about to blast off into outer space. I just dont understand the attraction. What a douche…not even really the name brand kind…like the dollar store brand

  44. C.J.
    Commented on this photo:

    don’t let that little shit get you down fish (: we love you

  45. mamabear

    He’s right. MOst blogs are just about hate. It blows my mind sometimes to read what other people write. It blows my mind that there are really so many people out there who are 1) really that stupid that they can’t think critically about issues and come from an objective place, and 2) that so many people are SO INCREDIBLY violent with their words and their thoughts, especially when it comes to women and their bodies. Frankly this site is nothing but blatant misogyny the majority of the time. Not saying I don’t partake in it as well. This sort of private hate that comes from sitting behind a computer can be addicting for anyone. But it would be nice to see people think more critically about more than just how hot a woman looks in a bikini and spew pointless venom towards said woman about her value and worth as a human being based on perceived hotness. Women are people. And they exist for many other reasons than simply for you to sit and judge their worth based completely on their fuckability. Of course i realize that I’m just throwing flowers at a grizzly bear in hopes that it will fend him off by saying all this to this particular group of commenters.

  46. Guest

    This is all Kristen’s fault. She is a bitch and he tries to take up for her and it makes him look bad. He needs to drop that sullen, paper sack of a woman.

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