Robert Pattinson Dances Exactly Like You Expect Him To Dance

Robert Pattinson is so white he played a sparkling, abstinence-only Mormon vampire and was in a Harry Potter movie. The only way he could be more white is if he paid his way onto a police cruiser and “accidentally” shot a black person in the back. So here he is dancing during Drake’s Coachella performance exactly how I dance, but with a woman agreeing to have sex with him later instead of pepper spraying him in the dickhole. (What? I open with dickhole. Should I not be doing that? God, why is this so hard?!)

Photo: AKM-GSI