You’ve Been Denied Edward’s Butt Crack, Twi-Hards. The Revolution Is NOW!

November 17th, 2011 // 70 Comments

Even though Robert Pattinson literally banged Kristen Stewart in front of the cast and crew of Twilight: Breaking Dawn (Or at least that’s how we read this.), apparently Twi-hards will not only be denied his sparkly thrusts thanks to the MPAA, but they’ll also miss out on his glittery b-hole. Or at least the shimmery crack leading to said b-hole. There’s no DAZZLE is what I’m trying to say here. Via Starpulse:

He told Ellen DeGeneres, “There was a bit too much butt crack I think. That was one thing I know they cut out…They just painted over it…You’re allowed to show cheek. You can’t show crack.”

Suddenly that whole Jerry Sandusky scandal doesn’t sound so bad does it? I’ll ready the vigil.

“Swing low, sweet sparklecrack,
Comin’ for to carry me home;
I looked over the Young Adult section,
And what did I see,
Comin’ for to carry me home,
A sparklin’ b-hole comin’ after me,
Comin’ for to carry me home…”

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Getty, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Kristen Stewart UK Twilight Premiere
    Dr. Ike
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like pound her in the butt and see if she keeps that same usual expression on her face while I do it.

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