Robert Kardashian Said Khloe’s His Daughter To Get Out of Having More Kids. That Proves It!

January 12th, 2012 // 40 Comments
Who's Her Daddy?
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Yesterday, we found out that Robert Kardashian supposedly told two of his ex-wives that Khloe isn’t his biological daughter and was the result of Kris Jenner cheating on him with, I dunno, let’s say a wooly mammoth. Since then everyone in the Kardashian family has given purposefully vague denials (Here and here.) to keep this story going because you know what no one’s talking about? That time Kim faked a wedding for an $18 million payout because she’s a moustachioed whore-machine. Anyway, E! News – who doesn’t at all have an entire pack of dogs in this race – is citing an old legal document of Robert Kardashian’s as proof that Khlo-bacca is his biological daughter:

In a sworn declaration included with Robert Kardashian’s petition to annul his marriage to second wife Jan Ashley after five months, the famed criminal lawyer stated under oath that he had “four biological children.”

Acknowledging that he had broken the terms of the agreement he and Ashley had upon tying the knot—they planned to have a child, then he changed his mind—Kardashian noted: “I decided that since I already had four biological children, I did not wish to have any more.”

Keep in mind, this is a man (who already has kids, I should add) trying to get out of having a baby which is a dark hole of terror where men will literally say or do anything to escape. Not even joking, I’d chew a fucking limb off. So to cite that as proof that Khloe is one of these “four biological children” is tenuous at best. Robert Kardashian would’ve said his cock shoots yellow-cake uranium if he had to. On that note, after the jump is a video from an old 2009 episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians where they literally try to put the rumors that Khloe’s a bastard to rest by – wait for it – comparing her DNA to just Kris Jenner’s. You’d almost think this was a family who didn’t watch their gravy train help O.J. get away with murder.

Photos: Getty


  1. Khloe Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    Richard Keil is her father.

  2. maeby

    He never said KHLOE was one of the four biological children. He could have been getting some woman filled off to the side. This proves abso-fucking-lutely NOTHING. Boom!

  3. cc

    ‘Hostess is what?!!!’

  4. Any Guy

    old pigs like Kris Jenner need NOT wear a slinky dress. fuckin’ EWW.

  5. rican

    I tried watching the video but had to stop. These people are insufferable bitches

  6. Jade

    Whorin’ whorin’ whorin, keep those Kardashian’s famewhorin’, rawhide!

    Yeah, that’s the best I could do.

    More Kardashian controversy. I can’t wait til the day I never see or hear of them again. Famewhores who make a living off of putting their lives on display can’t get upset when the bad stuff comes to light. Perhaps Wookie is just pissed off that her mom is now going to be known not just as a famewhore, but as a plain ol’ whore.

  7. Joe

    Who gives a shit if Kris had an affair with a sasquatch?

  8. EricLr

    Everyone is thinking about how *they* feel. Meanwhile, poor Carlos the pool boy is back in Mexico with no clue that he has a daughter.

  9. Julia


    Look at this side by side pic of Alex Roldan and Khloe!!

    Alex has been Kris’ hair stylist for 30 years.

  10. lkl

    I remember the DNA show and after it was over I never gave a second thought about her being the dad’s at all. I believe this is not Robert’s kid and Kris knows it. WHORE.

  11. me

    Fish, you’re weird. Out of all the Kardashians, Khloe is the prettiest and the most down-to-earth. I think she’s beautiful.

    • JC

      You know, that’s kind of like saying, “Out of all of the flesh-eating zombies, that one with the blue shirt is the nicest.” If Khloe were actually “down-to-earth,” she would have done what Ozzy’s oldest daughter did: Say, “You know what? Screw this, I’m not being on your reality show or getting pimped around. I’m going to live my own life.” But no–she’s on their shit show, she has her own shit show, she shares in the shitty Kmart clothes line, the shitty books, and the whole shit parade. She’s just as bad as the rest of them, and because of that, she’s a filthy wookie whore that’s an insult to all other legitimate wookie whores and the entire wookie race.

    • Carla

      Chewbaca in the hiz-ouse!

  12. russ

    This is another ploy to keep themselves in the news. It’s working. Im about to give up on bashing these whores. I just dont have the energy

  13. Khloe Kardashian
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:


  14. GUEST2012

    I don’t think Khloe is Bob’s either. Her DNA test taken earlier just proved that Kris is her MOTHER, but didn’t resolve the question of who’s her DADDY?

  15. Only thing that is certain is that no one will be coming forward to claim paternity. No one wants to admit to fathering a wildebeest much less sleeping with banshee.

    • Guadalupe

      Thank you for any other informative blog. The place else may I get that kind of iotormafinn written in such a perfect means? I have a venture that I’m simply now running on, and I’ve been on the look out for such info.

  16. cathy

    you people need a LIFE.

  17. Cindi

    I looked at the pictures of Alex Roldan and Khloe. He has been
    Kris Jenner’s hair stylist for 30 years. There is a resembance
    between the two. You are right, Julia!!

  18. doctor snuggles

    who wants to have more PIGS like khloe, folks?

  19. Donald Trump


  20. wtf

    I really don’t get why everyone is so vile towards this young woman. She seems like the least annoying of the bunch of them and not nearly as phoney as Kim. Must be fun for her always being insulted in horrible ways. She has not had a ton of surgery and can’t help it if she not a tiny little thing. You guys are fucking cruel, and I bet none of you are as good looking as she is. I have a sister who hates me because other people compared her to me in a negative way….I wish they hadn’t. I don’t suppose any of you are deep enough to consider how much it must hurt another human being to read these things. I know anything goes on the Superficial and most of the time I find it amusing. Calling her a pig is just cruel…and untrue.

    • Donald Trump

      If the little pig can’t take the heat she should live a private life and stop famewhoring herself. Until then, she’s fair game – and I gotta catch me a Sasquatch!

      • Hillary

        Donald Trump. Really? That’s the name you picked to represent your critiques of a woman who you’ve never met? What a classy guy. You probably live in the middle of Kentucky and eat easy mac for dinner every night. Get a life.

  21. Hillary

    I recognize this site is satire, I love it and think it’s hilarious. However, in this case I’m not too impressed. It’s pathetic that you would allege someones dead father is not in fact their father. Public celebrities are certainly in the spot light and open to criticism, but you’re crossing the line with this one. Everyone who wants to talk shit about the Kardashian’s should loosen the elastic band on their Walmart sweat pants and let some blood flow to their brains. These women are multi-millionaires for a reason. The reason being that people like you (and me in this instance) sit around and discuss them, and therefore promote their products. Publicity is publicity whether negative or positive and just because the Kardashian’s know how to invest their money doesn’t make them fame whores, it makes them savvy business people. Maybe they got that gene from their extremely successful father, Robert Kardashian, also a self made millionaire. You people are ridiculous, get back to work at McDonalds and enjoy your pathetic existence. Just because you’re jealous and/or poor doesn’t mean you need to talk shit about people who work hard for their money and understand investing. It’s their taxes that pay for your welfare. And the sister everyone keeps calling a “sasquatch” really? I bet she’s prettier than every single one of you who is calling her unattractive. It’s easy to sit at home an criticize people from the privacy of your couch, but it takes a real woman to get up in front of people and be who they are.

  22. Khloe Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    Woah ! I just saw her in the new SWTOR named Bowdaar.. wtf !

  23. Khloe Kardashian
    becky g
    Commented on this photo:

    I thi nk she is Beautiful!! By far the prettiest of the girls…and the most natural looking!

  24. Khloe Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    This is so sick! It makes me SO angry as a die hard fan! Why can’t they just give his corpse, cehldrin, and family the LEAST amount of respect!? No amount of years following his death make the possible leaking of someones morbid interest permissible.

  25. Khloe Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    What a fat ugly cunt.

  26. Khloe Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s just not attractive.. I can’t find a single pretty thing about her

    • NineInchNailed

      Yeah, touche…. I tried really hard to find something I like and I think I found one: her eye colour. Yeah, it’s ordinary but it’s kind of pretty.

  27. Khloe Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    No one cares what Mammoth Kardashian has to say. Empty vessels make the most noise, and so do fat people when hungry. Someone throw her a marinated lamb.

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