Yesterday, we found out that Robert Kardashian supposedly told two of his ex-wives that Khloe isn’t his biological daughter and was the result of Kris Jenner cheating on him with, I dunno, let’s say a wooly mammoth. Since then everyone in the Kardashian family has given purposefully vague denials (Here and here.) to keep this story going because you know what no one’s talking about? That time Kim faked a wedding for an $18 million payout because she’s a moustachioed whore-machine. Anyway, E! News – who doesn’t at all have an entire pack of dogs in this race – is citing an old legal document of Robert Kardashian’s as proof that Khlo-bacca is his biological daughter:
In a sworn declaration included with Robert Kardashian’s petition to annul his marriage to second wife Jan Ashley after five months, the famed criminal lawyer stated under oath that he had “four biological children.”
Acknowledging that he had broken the terms of the agreement he and Ashley had upon tying the knot—they planned to have a child, then he changed his mind—Kardashian noted: “I decided that since I already had four biological children, I did not wish to have any more.”
Keep in mind, this is a man (who already has kids, I should add) trying to get out of having a baby which is a dark hole of terror where men will literally say or do anything to escape. Not even joking, I’d chew a fucking limb off. So to cite that as proof that Khloe is one of these “four biological children” is tenuous at best. Robert Kardashian would’ve said his cock shoots yellow-cake uranium if he had to. On that note, after the jump is a video from an old 2009 episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians where they literally try to put the rumors that Khloe’s a bastard to rest by – wait for it – comparing her DNA to just Kris Jenner’s. You’d almost think this was a family who didn’t watch their gravy train help O.J. get away with murder.