So Robert Downey Jr. Might Be Anonymously Claiming Hayden Panettiere Was A Child Prostitute

March 14th, 2012 // 93 Comments
'Forgive Ol' Mel'
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[UPDATE: Surprise! Turns out this story was pulled out of some lawyer’s ass along with almost every single item on Crazy Days and Nights, so now I have to write my mom a new Christmas list that doesn’t include Hayden Panettiere’s Premiere Package at the top. Goddammit. – SW]

If I’m reading this Jezebel piece correctly (Which I highly suggest you give a look.), there’s a strong theory floating around that apparently Robert Downey Jr. is anonymously confirming blind gossip items in the comment threads of celebrity blogs. And not just any blind gossip items, insanely fucked-up blind gossip items that allege Hayden Panettiere and Amanda Bynes were part of a child prostitution ring that Hayden’s parents were willing participants in. So right off the bat, this seems like the type of thing a movie star would confirm and risk getting his dick sued off for:

Leslie P. is not just a poor victim in this trainwreck. Trust me. She’s at LEAST 50% responsible (if not more) for encouraging, enabling, and at times even participating in her hubby’s twisted fucking life. Leslie’s kinks cross the line into depravity, illegality, and inhuman sickness. As in: Ryan ONeal, John Phillips, Tish Cyrus, and Dan Schnieder territory. (Far worse than Pimpa Joe Simpson!)
She’s not just had chances to stop it or walk away with the kids, but she elected to not protect her kids – and give in to the hedonistic sickness in her bedroom (all for her own greed). You think Dina Lohan is bad?
Leslie’s guilt is compounded by trying to save her daughter’s “IMAGE” (so as not affect her earning potential); and hoovering her own mountain of drugs, booze, fame, and fucking (of everything with legs)…Leslie IS as bad as her hubby – maybe worse because she KNEW it was wrong but didn’t stop it and at times fueling it.
It’s easy to argue that Hayden is forever a victim which drives her own insane life choices – and I’m not a psychologist – but she has taken it further into becoming a willing perpetuator of it (and saying she loves it). Not just the physical and mental violence she enjoys, but her insatiable appetite for the most bizarre shit she can indulge in to “top” herself. She was offered help by some who genuinely cared for her and worried for her. She mocked them and tore off on her own streak. Now? She craves it and considers nothing taboo. NOTHING! Just ask Mario Lopez.

Of course, this immediately raises all kinds of questions that should seriously be looked into. I’m talking:

1. Is this still going on?
2. Do I have to go through Hayden’s mom or is Mario Lopez in charge now?
3. What’s the going rate for a midget blowjay swirl with an Ewok suit handy?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to figure out how to lure Robert Downey Jr. into The Superficial comment threads even though I’m 90% positive he’s that forrest gump/steve canyon dude from the Netherlands who always says “FOLKS.” Call it a hunch.

Photos: Getty, Splash News


  1. Bingo

    How much for a hummer?

  2. mr pimp n. starz

    the superficial probably could not afford robert downey jr’s rates.

  3. Crabby Old Guy

    Hmmm…tainted midget pussy huh? Well, normally I’d pass, but, what the fuck – I’m in.

  4. Ganja Din

    I’m not certain how this story explains Hayden’s IMAX-sized forehead but I’m convinced there is a connection.

  5. am I too young to know what the fuck hes talking about? can someone fill me in?

  6. Capitalist Pancake

    Well, it sadly makes enough sense – bar the earning potential bit. What the hell has HP done since Heroes that could possibly have made her any money? Is she doing Hallmark Channel movies? Can’t say I’m surprised at all the dark Hollywood stuff though – surely that kind of thing is as old as Hollywood itself.

  7. the jezebel story is all wrong! im on the boards that the guessing was done and we think that its another guy. not RDJ. but im not gunna say his name bc we are keeping it on the low done. jezebel is wrong wrong wrong…on so many levels with this story.

    • jenyjenjen

      Says the person with the handle breezyyy. You surely are the foremost authority, I’m sure the anonymous poster appreciates you keeping it on the “low done”. Fucking Chris Brown fans…

    • V

      dude, keep up. Himmmm said he’s not Tally in recent comments and hinted again at being RDJ.

  8. slampon

    way to stick it to child abusers, sw! this is the jerry sandusky thing all over again for you.

  9. JC

    Sounds like Hayden would be up for a Cleveland Steamer.

  10. Deacon Jones


    That reads EXACTLY like something RDJ would say. Funny.

    This statement, however, leaves so many questions to be answered. So many juicy details to be filled!

    If he’s calling her a nutbag, I would love to hear some word of mouth stories of her escapades, FOLKS!!!

    • Still needs more ellipsis and something anti-American.

    • That’s why I think one of the entities is NOT him – it’s far too obvious, right down to listing his wife, Jon Favreau and Mel Gibson among the list of the flawed, yet virtuous. If it were Downey, it’d be really stupid to out himself since the whole purpose of planting BIs is anonimity. If you’re an obvious source, you’re forevermore shut out of any industry loop – unless you want to know who’s on night shift at the manure processing plant in Buttfuck, Montana. And if it’s really Downey and he’s attempting a classic misdirection so that anyone with two brains cells would think he wouldn’t be dumb enough to out himself, it’s still stupid as a lot of Hollywood is paranoid, and shares one giant ego and a single tiny brain cell.

      • CranAppleSnapple

        “unless you want to know who’s on night shift at the manure processing plant in Buttfuck, Montana.”

        That’s Lindsay’s next assignment.

    • Yeah, they already have enough help at the morgue.

  11. Courtney Stodden’s parents are kicking themselves right now for marrying her off instead of renting her out.

  12. Well, regardless of who it actually it, this should be one interesting debacle by next Monday. If true, maybe this will burn them down… We can hope.

  13. Jimbo

    So how much is a midget BJ? I want one….

  14. This does explain why Roman Polanski offered to direct some episodes of “What I Like About You.”

  15. Kangaroo Porn

    She’s a sexy little chipmunk. I’d do her. But she’d probably just laugh. As for this story I think it’s complete bull.

    • Frank Burns

      Prolly just angry revenge by a ‘Heroes’ fan after she rejected autographing a picture of her in a cheerleader uniform photoshopped in with a photo of him in a Wolverine outfit.

  16. T.G

    Look up
    This women called Diana Jenkins is alleged to be pimping out young Hollywood stars like Amanda Byrnes and Hayden to older wealthy men. Diana is one fucked up lady.

  17. Wendy kroy

    Also the the guy who posted the blind item “himmmmm” is not just one guy. Multiple people run that account. Talley griffin was one of them RDJ is supposed to be another.

    • Frank Burns

      I must now confess and admit that my account is also used by four people, mostly from television: the 600-lb virgin guy, one of the old ladies from ‘Hoarders’, Brock from ‘Pokemon’, and the ghost of King Tut. We take turns using the account, when we aren’t having sordid sexual encounters (for pay or pain) with A-list celebrities.

  18. Cock Dr

    So childhood prostitution = fixation with well being of whales and dolphins? No? How about a craving for sex with men 3 times your size?

  19. Somewhere, Kris Jenner just started a slow clap.

  20. Deacon Jones

    I’m not following this…

    Why would Hollywood “starlets” agree to be pimped out if they’re already making films and lots of money?

    • Bianca

      I believe it and I also think that’s how George Clooney “met” Stacey Kiebler, like Charlie did w/ Denise Richards. You always see these b-c list actresses/models who haven’t worked in years yet still manage to live luxurious lifestyles. By Hollywood standards, most haven’t made *that* much money from their jobs (Hayden had some crappy show on a crappy network), so where do they get all this $ to maintain this life for themselves and their family?

      • El Jefe

        I agree, I mean look at Mena Suvari and JoJo, how the hell are they surviving in Hollywood? They have not made money in years and Lindsay Lohan was basically exposed with the Indian hotel owner.

      • Schmidtler

        wasn’t hayden on a soap opera for years & years as a kid, then right into high profile modeling / spokesperson gigs for cosmetic companies, then a hit tv series, a few movie roles? Jessica Simpson has made herself a billionaire selling k-mart quality mu-mus to fat broads, what’s the big surprise someone like hayden who has been working at high paying acting & modeling gigs her whole life can afford her big money lifestyle of hello kitty bathing suits and fancy sunglasses?

      • Bianca

        El Jefe: Totally agree w/ JoJo. And Sophie Turner, that Australian “model” who is always seen on “dates” w rich men. Schmidtler: Soaps are notorious for crap pay; even veteran actors only make a few thousand/episode and Hayden was nowhere near that status. She also didn’t make *that much* for her Neutrogena campaign. It’s not like she gets paid millions for these stints, unlike A list stars like Beyonce. As for her movies, I’m pretty sure she wasn’t making millions for ‘Ice Princess’. She is rich compared to us, but she isn’t rich enough to live in Hollywood off her money, it has to be supplemented from somewhere else.
        Jessica Simpson is 100 times more wealthy than Hayden P and Stacey Kiebler put together.

      • I’m with Bianca but I have to disagree with Fish. I think RDJ would use something better than Forrest. And besides, I think that poster is a few clowns short of a circus.

      • I’m not going to pretend to have an answer as to how Hayden Panettiere makes a living but what is “rich enough to live in Hollywood” supposed to mean? Believe it or not, “Hollywood” is not some enchanted land that you need annual million-dollar incomes to live in, or else you have to hightail it out of town.

        Do you know for a fact that Panettiere spent all her “Heroes” money, and her Neutrogena money, and her Candie’s money, and her Lifetime TV money, and the money from all her other TV shows, and movies, and the video games for which she provided voices? And if not, how much of it may have been invested at the time and earning a decent return?

        Nor do you know what her expenses are, either. Just because you see her in a lot of photo shoots, it doesn’t mean she’s living the high life, pimpin’ out her crib and making it rain all over town. Keep in mind that celebrities get a lot of free swag; even some of the clothes you see her wear at some events may be gifts or on loan from fashion houses looking for publicity for their styles.

        Two months ago, New York Magazine printed Zooey Deschanel’s annual budget, which was made public in the course of her divorce: Deschanel’s may be an extreme example of Hollywood frugality, but it indicates that you can be a Hollywood star and still live relatively modestly—not to mention that when you net five times your annual expenses, you can still live the same lifestyle for a while even after you get less work.

        So, please, let me know what you’ve got beyond your own suppositions about how much money you need to live in Hollywood.

    • Mike Walker

      Bianca, you think George Clooney needs an escort agency to snag some washed up C actress/WWE diva? Someone of her station should be paying Clooney to date them.

  21. DC

    The REAL relevant question that MUST be asked:



  22. El Jefe

    I hate stories like this…that don’t include the rates. If you are going to call people prostitutes you should at least provide their rates and how to contact them.

  23. MrsJackWhite

    Guhhhh, this makes me feel sick. Bret Easton Ellis isn’t overexaggerating. If it is Robert Downey Jr, then I love him even more. Leaks and exposing sick fucks or bad people is the only weapon. Remember Watergate?

  24. V

    If you google pictures of Hayden from around 2010-2011 you’ll find lots of paparazzi pictures in which she has massive bruises on her legs:

    the ones you get when you’re beaten up and not by falling down or bumping into stuff. she’s constantly sporting bruises like those on her legs and arms.

    She also dated then 30 year old Milo Ventimiglia when she was only 18, and there’s rumors of him being violent towards previous girlfriends. Google his incident with Alexis Bledel from Gilmore Girls.

  25. dontkillthemessenger

    This story is bullshit. Hayden is 3’6″ now, so back in the day she had to be no taller than 2′… who could do anything with her? Where’s my protractor? I’ll figure this out.

  26. Schmidtler

    If I banged Hayden P., I sure as shit would tell anybody and everybody I knew, and I’d do my best to have pictures to prove it. wtf would anybody believe that not only would an actress / model who ha worked steadily since she was a kid need to whore herself out for the money, but also that she could do that for years without anybody coming forward to say they paid cash to bang her? you people are fucking nutbars.

    • Maybe because the people who’d actually be in a position to bang her woudn’t have a pathetic need to impress their buddies with the fact over brews down at the trailer park – or otherwise out themselves and ruin a good thing, or make enemies of anyone they might be in business with. Just a wild guess.

  27. 1. Hayden Panettiere a prostitutski? Naaahhhhh…

    2. In case I’m wrong, does anyone have her business card?

  28. Da Cheese

    So where can I find Amanda Bynes homemade videos?

  29. kirby

    This type of shit has long been rumored to exist in Hollywood. And so I ask you, what if RDJ is telling the truth? What if he is right? I think what is amazing here is that RDJ is displaying his morals which, I think we all assume, put him well above the avg. Hollywood attention whores. Really, what if what we read was the reality?
    I suspect most would not wish it so, because we rely too much on what Hollywood gives us. Denial is such an easier place to live.

    • OinkOink

      I doubt most would “not wish it so” its too juicy to not wish it so.
      It doesn’t affect my life, so why should I care what rich people do? I feel sympathetic for a girl with no money who gets sold to sex slavery but this is whatever to me.

  30. Veronica

    I so humiliated that I remember RDJ and HP were on the final season (or 2) of Ally McBeal when she was just a little girl. Maybe he does know something about it.

  31. JoliesLeg

    Hhahahaha Hayden appeared in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (season 2) called *ABUSE*

  32. Jill

    THIS explains SO much- and completely fits in with the ‘twisted-ness’ that is Hollywood.


    Its true about this Hollywood prostitution ring and this Diana Jenkin’s chick.

    Kacey Jordan the porno star that was with Charlie Sheen talked about this on Howard. About going to some Arab country and doing some Arab Prince.

  34. Lilly

    I don’t think HIMMM is RDJ because I don’t see him being so compassionate. He is funny, caring and smart, but I bet his first thoughts are for himself.

  35. Lost Boys

    Wasn’t it Corey Feldman that was going to blow the roof off the Hollywood child abuse problem?

  36. WellPlayed

    This is an article about HP being sexually violated as a child and 95% of the comments are somehow disparaging towards HER? Way to go, America. Asking for midget sex is totally the right stance to take here. Well played. One giant leap for superficial-kind.

  37. Flamer




  38. Burt

    I know someone who was an actress on a soap. The moment she started becoming popular, her agent got phone calls from people in the industry asking if she was interested in meeting them for a late night ‘interview” in their hotel room. She quit the business because her agent pressured her to accept these “casting calls”, saying it was the standard way of doing things. She still has connections in the business and will point out on TV who (both men and women) used to be high-priced prostitutes and who are the play things of powerful people and their friends.

    Oh, and to quote Tony Curtis when asked about the rumours that Nancy Reagan had taken a few trips to the casting couch, “We all used to do it in those days.”

  39. Kate Gosselin just multiplied by 8 in her head and has decided her money problems are about to be over.

  40. seriously?

    wait…so himmm only started dropping ‘hints’ AFTER someone suggested he was RDJ?? And the fact that Hayden has done this her whole life without a) anyone else ever speaking up, and b) getting any injury worse than a bruise ON HER LEG???? is anyone actually stupid and naive enough to believe this? seriously? somewhere there’s the sick fuck who made up all this bullshit laughing

  41. Derp

    Why would RDJ post such dirt on a blog that has already been outed as a giant hoax?

  42. Brad Hallston

    This coming from a guy that has definitely sucked a dick for coke..hmm.

  43. lara

    This is probably how Hayden met her boxer ex-boyfriend Klitchko. According to the source, the Hollywood madam was providing services to athletes among other rich people. This by itself kind of confirms it. I remember everyone being surprised by the randomness of their hookup.

  44. MsPoodle

    First, lets all just assume that there are no celebrities reading/commenting on any of this. Second, for all of you who doubt young people are abused and used like crazy in Hollywood- I am so happy you have lived such a blessedly, happy, ignorant life. You are some of the lucky ones.

  45. Potato Head

    This isn’t a surprise at all. I’ve partied with Hayden before in Hollywood- the girl can snort coke so fast it made her head spin. Insane in the membrane.

  46. Nathiest

    If it where at all true then she would have a nudity clause. Sorry guys but this story is total bs.

  47. Nathiest


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