Rob Schneider Wants His Freeze Peach Back!

Okay, this picture is character assassination. You got me.

Rob Schneider was hired by State Farm to make it look like the cool, hip insurance company that still remembers SNL sketches from the 90s. Instead, they were flooded by protestors understandably pointing out that propping up a dangerous anti-vaxxer doesn’t exactly instill confidence in the business acumen of an insurance company. (Although, had they gone with, “You like-a the juice, huh? The juice is good,” I guarantee this whole thing would’ve gone down differently.) So State Farm shit-canned Rob because they’re a private company who hired him to make them look good which clearly didn’t happen, so tough titties. Except like most idiots who see constitutional crimes around every corner yet have very little understanding of its most basic tenets, Rob Schneider went on Twitter and started quoting George Washington on freedom of speech even though he wasn’t jailed, fined, or even remotely chastised by the government:

- “If the Freedom of Speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter,” George Washington
– Thanks to all my supporters who believe as I do that parents should decide what’s in the best interests of their child, not Gov’t mandates.

If Rob Schneider likes historical quotes, here’s my favorite from Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr, “The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.” You see the government does get to tell you to vaccinate your child before granting him/her access to other people’s children inside a public school building – Even though there are still 800 loopholes to this, so I honestly don’t know what you’re bitching about. – because the problem is not vaccinating your child isn’t a decision that stays contained to his/her body. Your unvaccinated little Typhoid Mary now puts other people’s children at risk – That’s a scientific and statistical fact. – because vaccines operate on a herd immunity. And you can pull bullshit of your ass about pharmaceutical companies and CDC whistleblowers who don’t exist, but at the end of the day the strongest, peer-reviewed and continually tested proof shows vaccines prevent diseases. Polio is basically wiped out, but Natural News said something about mercury, and the government doesn’t get to tell me how to raise my kids, so let’s be stubborn shitheads and give babies whooping cough because freedom or something. (Dear aliens reading this, please, land your sex ships I know you have hovering behind the moon, not all of us are bad. DON’T LEAVE ME HERE!)

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Photo: Getty