Kris Jenner Put A Hit On Rob Kardashian

June 26th, 2014 // 32 Comments
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Seen here leaving the gym with those nachos he likes yesterday, Rob Kardashian has no idea he’s about to get The Lamar Odom Treatment because here’s TMZ with a report – complete with pictures – of him using sizzurp and in desperate need of rehab which I’m sure has nothing to do with him bailing on Kim’s wedding thus lowering its SEO score by not tweeting pics of Jayden Smith in a white Batman costume from his verified account. What kind of mother would do that to her own son? Except, just kidding, it’s Kris Jenner. Kris Jenner would do that. Her pimp hand is STRONG.

Our sources say the family is well aware of what has been going on with Rob, depicted by these photos during a drug-fueled party a few days ago.
You can see Rob holding a double cup … the container of choice for Sizzurp. The cup on the table actually has the words, “Codeine Boys” emblazoned on it. He’s also seen smoking weed.
We’re told the Kardashians have been calling rehab facilities, but Rob refuses to go. They feel desperate because they don’t know what to do and hope pictures like these may change Rob’s mind.

Wow, these people are predictable as shit. Which is great news for everyone waiting for Kendall‘s first sex tape to surface. In the meantime, just like what happened with Lamar, Kim doesn’t give a fuck about Rob which is probably why she launched her new blonde hair ahead of schedule because now that’s all anyone will talk about. A man’s going to eat himself to death, but my God, look at that coat! She’ll win first prize at the State Fair for sure. Anyway, here’s Chris Rock‘s face reacting to Kris Jenner’s presence which says everything that needs to be said here. I don’t know why I even wrote words:

Chris Rock Kris Jenner

Photos: INFphotos / GOAL/AKM-GSI

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  1. He’s the only one of her spawn who was fathered by Mr Kardashian senior. That explains everything.

  2. Blonde Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt Torn Jeans Heels
    cuddles
    Commented on this photo:

    Bitch tryin’ ta steal Queen B’s look. Sick Solange on her sorry ass. It’s like having a Kraken, only scarier.

    • if she was trying to “steal Beyonce’s look”, kim would shave her head bald and put a blonde wig on. The real reason you’re saying that is because black women in particular hold beyonce up as the most beautiful amongst them, which is laughable because she is half bleached, and you feel kim is prettier and it unsettles you. Oh, kim would also need to get thunder thighs, grow her nose 10 sizes, shrink her eyes and uh, be black. The only thing they have in common are fake tits and nose jobs and even those look way different. I don’t even like kk because she is a snore but what is this kim wants to be beyonce nonsense? They look nothing alike and I didn’t know beyonce had a monopoly on blonde wigs. Oh look, Beyoncé is trying to be Paris Hilton. Wait a minute, that is kind of true, skin bleaching, liposuction, making her nose and lips smaller…hmm, curious how that works, isn’t it?

  3. We’re getting a preview of what Justin will look like in five years.

  4. JC

    I’ve asked this question before, but seriously, people with money: Why Sizzurp? If you’re going to abuse drugs, why not abuse good ones?

    • Marketing Mike

      Because it gives you the same high as skin popping H, and
      it doesn’t leave needle marks, and it’s easy to get/make.
      The problem is later, once you decide to “upgrade” to H,
      because the buzz isn’t strong enough any longer
      (aka Bieber and now Selena)

  5. If I was a hit man, I would worry about bullet penetration through that fat tub, especially if I was trying to get sub-sonic rounds from a silenced 45 to push through the pack of hotdogs on the back of Rob’s head.

    I might go with something like poisoned chicken wings, so it’s a guaranteed kill.

  6. Blonde Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt Torn Jeans Heels
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m struggling to decide who is more pathetic in this photo.

  7. oh i know

    if I was in that family, I’d “double-cup”, too! poor Rob, I feel bad for him…

  8. Not So Sure I agree dare, Fish

    What I don’t get is how Justin Beiber is si skinny, when sizzurp is ibviously 850,00 calories a cup.

  9. ” … they don’t know what to do and hope pictures like these may change Rob’s mind.” So if circulating pictures made people stop what they’re doing, wouldn’t Kim have stopped banging rappers?

  10. Robb7

    Whatta sick fuckin’ family! They should all OD!

  11. D-chi

    We laugh at this family, but it’s to keep the tears at bay.

  12. The look on Chris’s face is called a “fear grin”.

  13. Blonde Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt Torn Jeans Heels
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim Kardashian’s transformation into a chimpanzee is almost complete. So much for evolution. The distance from her shortened nose to her upper lip is a massive gap….pretty typical of bad plastic surgery. I love it though….keep going. I enjoy making fun of freaks.

    • she also overfills her nasolabial folds. if she let them crease a bit, it would shorten the gap, but it is true, they screwed up her nose. it is a great nose for a European but it does not fit that Armenian face. she had a beautiful face before.

  14. Blonde Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt Torn Jeans Heels
    Commented on this photo:

    Chimpanzee face

  15. Blonde Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt Torn Jeans Heels
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Kim K is caught once again with a full diaper

  16. Blonde Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt Torn Jeans Heels
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like a chimpanzee, a goblin and an Afghan hound had an orgy and created Kim K.

  17. Blonde Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt Torn Jeans Heels
    Commented on this photo:

    what fucking losers.

  18. Blonde Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt Torn Jeans Heels
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like typical NYC folks, fat Dominicans abound who all think they look like kk

  19. Blonde Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt Torn Jeans Heels
    bababooey
    Commented on this photo:

    I see she found her one male fan.

  20. Juano

    I am hating myself for saying this, but I feel sorry for the poor guy. How would you like to have to put up with his sisters and mother?

    Everything is related to the brand, everything is phony, everything is staged, and he is dependent on his sisters for any cash he has.

  21. “Oh Lordy no, Mz. Kardashian-Jenner. I doesn’t even work for you.”

  22. Blonde Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt Torn Jeans Heels
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yep, all of the paps were there and they all got plenty of pictures of me. Next time I think I’ll ‘forget’ to wear a bra.”

  23. Blonde Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt Torn Jeans Heels
    Commented on this photo:

    “Pssst…Kim…I’m single.”

  24. “Hey, motherfuckers, I heard someone was talking about my sister Kim said ‘MOOO’… Which one of you assholes was it?”

  25. Blonde Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt Torn Jeans Heels
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is the girl asking for an autograph?

  26. Boo hoo. I’m Slob Douchebagian and I’m a fat, no talent pig. Oh wait. That makes me Kim.

  27. Blonde Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt Torn Jeans Heels
    Aimski
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow racist much?

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