Kris Jenner Put A Hit On Rob Kardashian

Seen here leaving the gym with those nachos he likes yesterday, Rob Kardashian has no idea he’s about to get The Lamar Odom Treatment because here’s TMZ with a report – complete with pictures – of him using sizzurp and in desperate need of rehab which I’m sure has nothing to do with him bailing on Kim’s wedding thus lowering its SEO score by not tweeting pics of Jayden Smith in a white Batman costume from his verified account. What kind of mother would do that to her own son? Except, just kidding, it’s Kris Jenner. Kris Jenner would do that. Her pimp hand is STRONG.

Our sources say the family is well aware of what has been going on with Rob, depicted by these photos during a drug-fueled party a few days ago.
You can see Rob holding a double cup … the container of choice for Sizzurp. The cup on the table actually has the words, “Codeine Boys” emblazoned on it. He’s also seen smoking weed.
We’re told the Kardashians have been calling rehab facilities, but Rob refuses to go. They feel desperate because they don’t know what to do and hope pictures like these may change Rob’s mind.

Wow, these people are predictable as shit. Which is great news for everyone waiting for Kendall’s first sex tape to surface. In the meantime, just like what happened with Lamar, Kim doesn’t give a fuck about Rob which is probably why she launched her new blonde hair ahead of schedule because now that’s all anyone will talk about. A man’s going to eat himself to death, but my God, look at that coat! She’ll win first prize at the State Fair for sure. Anyway, here’s Chris Rock’s face reacting to Kris Jenner’s presence which says everything that needs to be said here. I don’t know why I even wrote words:

Chris Rock Kris Jenner

Photos: INFphotos / GOAL/AKM-GSI