Rob Kardashian Wanted You To Think He’s Banging Karrueche Tran
Rob Kardashian isn’t allowed outside anymore because of his mother’s strict policies on media exposure allowance as it correlates to the time since or until a sex tape release. It’s all detailed in Satan’s Guide To Building Earthly Wealth: The Shortcut Through Your Barely Legal Children’s Genitals. So, it’s no surprise Rob had to quickly delete some texts from Karrueche Tran that he posted to Instagram because there’s no way anyone would believe she actually fucked him. Via Us Weekly:
Posting a screen shot of their text session, the 28-year-old reality star revealed Tran (or Karroooooochieeee as he has her saved in his phone) had sent him a photograph of herself, and hinted that might be something going on between the pair.
“I like when she send me pictures,” Kardashian captioned the snap, followed by a couple of heart emojis.
Because the Internet is dumb, people who clearly hate their lives and time went off about the possible response prompting Rob to go off on them before deleting the pic:
“Yall dumb af,” a moody Kardashian wrote. “I been Friends with Karoooooch since high school. F–k outta here with your negative s–t,” he added.
Now some of you might be opening a vein asking, “Aren’t you burying the lede here? Where’s the Chris Brown angle?” And you’re absolutely right to wonder how many women this story will be taken out on. The answer, of course, is hundreds, just hundreds, so would it be horrible to ask for Chris to strike at the family who tried peepin’ on his main bitch? Because I say Kendall is our best bet. She’s been a professional model for years now, so her lack of a penis, low body weight, and vitamin deficiencies are exactly what Chris looks for in an opponent. Wait, she took one Tae Bo class seven years ago, you say? Fuck, that’s not gonna work.