Rob Kardashian Is Asking Scott Disick For Advice… Lol

Jesus, Rob ‘Blob’ Kardashian’s mom is still managing to keep him in the headlines after he broke up with his girlfriend like an angsty middle schooler on Instagram. Life & Style magazine has learned that because Rob literally has no friends, he’s calling up Scott Disick for advice on how he can achieve vagina nirvana like his former bro-in-law. Sad part is that it’ll probably work.

“He’s reached out to Scott for advice on how to deal with the aftermath of his meltdown,” an insider says. “Rob doesn’t have many friends and feels as though Scott is the only person who’ll understand what he’s going through.”

“He’s trying to persuade Rob to get back into the whole Hollywood social scene and is already planning to set him up with a string of hot women, the source reveals. “He’s making it his mission to boost Rob’s confidence.”

In case you haven’t been keeping up with father of the year Scott Disick, he’s been drunk since Cannes (which was almost two months ago) and surviving off of a diet of blowjobs and Corona for sustenance. I imagine he probably doesn’t even have Rob’s number anymore because he A) has dropped his phone in at least six toilets by now and B) because he’s the baby brother of his ex wife…

*EXCLUSIVE* Scott Disick chugs a beer at 6:45 AM after partying all Night with TAZ's Angels

*Scott answers unknown number on his cell phone*
“WHO IS THIS!? TANYA!? WHERE ARE YOU TANYA? WHAT HAVE THEY DON-“
“Scott! Scott! Bro, it’s me Rob…”
“Oh fewwf! Sorry, you scared me for a second- NEVER party with Czech race car drivers, shits stressful as hell. What’s up?”
“My girlfriend cheated on me and I’m really sad and everyone keeps making fun of me-“
“Keister…”
“What?”
“When you’re nose starts hurting from too much coke, just shove it in your keister. You’re fingers gonna smell for a sec but it’s chill.”
“Scott you’re like, the coolest, bro. Seriously.”

*Scott starts sad-crying and vomits off the balcony*